I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got
out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he
saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"
But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his
hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew
it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was
working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000
rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which
all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus
cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read
it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was
also promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would
forward the e-mail to everyone I know).
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got
jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note
that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a
few blocks from the hospital. The one, actually, where that little
boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for
everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives.
I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people
you will have good luck but if you send it to ten people you will only
have ok luck and if you send it to less than ten people you will have
BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on.
To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as
part of a gang initiation. And it's a little-known fact that the
Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
Do you buy it?
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