Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings,
> but this one is extremely serious. PLEASE READ
> VERY CAREFULLY!!!
>
> If you receive an email entitled "Crazy Times"
> delete it immediately. Do not open it! Apparently
> this one is pretty nasty.
>
> It will not only erase everything on your hard
> drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
> within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes
> the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It
> reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the
> tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
> harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.
>
> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness
> settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk
> curdles. It will program your phone autodial to
> call only your mother-in-law's number.
>
> This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish
> tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave
> dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
> expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will
> cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be
> honest, you have some) to migrate behind your
> ears.
>
> It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your
> Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current
> boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their
> hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
>
> It will cause you to run with scissors and throw
> things in a way that is only fun until someone
> loses an eye.It will give you Dutch Elm Disease
> and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files,
> changing all your active verbs to passive tense
> and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
> grossly change the interpretations of key
> sentences.
>
> If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a
> Windows 95 environment, it will leave the toilet
> seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
> dangerously close to a full bathtub.
>
> It will not only remove the tags from your
> mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill
> your skimmed milk with whole milk. It will replace
> all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will
> molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
> causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember
> Brut 33 ?)
>
> It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
> terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
> interesting shade of mauve.
>
> These are just a few signs of infection.
> PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU
> KNOW!!!
>
> Thanks to Bill Gates and a small child with kidney
> failure for sending this in. If you pass this to
> at least 5 friends within the next three minutes
> Bill will give the kid a free copy of Windows 98.
>
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