Below, a useful guide to help you put the cold into proper perspective.
Wisconsin Residents' Temperature Conversion Guide
50 above = New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Wisconsin residents plant gardens.
40 above = Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Wisconsin residents sunbathe.
35 above = Italian cars won't start.
Wisconsin residents drive with the windows down.
32 above = Distilled water freezes.
Brookings' water gets thicker.
20 above = Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats.
Wisconsin residents throw on a t-shirt.
15 above = Californians begin to evacuate the state.
Wisconsin residents go swimming.
Zero = New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Wisconsin residents have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
10 below = People in Miami cease to exist.
Wisconsin residents lick flag poles.
20 below = Californians fly away to Mexico.
Wisconsin residents throw on a light jacket.
40 below = Hollywood disintegrates.
Wisconsin residents rent some videos.
60 below = Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Wisconsin Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
80 below = Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Wisconsin Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets
cold enough.
100 below = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsin residents pull down their ear flaps.
120 below = Gulf of Mexico freezes.
Wisconsin residents strip for a football game.
173 below = Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Wisconsin residents get frustrated when they can't thaw the other keg.
297 below = Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Wisconsin cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below = ALL atomic motion stops.
Wisconsin residents start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below = Hell freezes over.
The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl.
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