Due in part to the results of recent court trials, there is a clamor these days about justice. It seems everyone is either demanding their rights or seeking to punish others for undeserved success. Lawsuits are commonplace; citizens' action groups have become more numerous (and much more vocal). Amid the commotion, a related principle is all but forgotten. That principle is fairness, and those in my generation (at least) learned it a long time ago.
Although I was an only child, I often had my cousins or schoolmates over to play. My mother used those opportunities to teach me about fairness. She did so through many examples: "Let the other boys play with your toys when you're not using them." "Don't take second helpings until everyone has been served." "Find something to do that you all enjoy." My mother understood that fairness is a civilizing principle, suppressing our natural tendencies toward selfishness and self-centeredness. She wanted to make sure I didn't become too spoiled and insistent on my own way, and I believe she succeeded.
It should be noted that fairness is not the same as justice. Justice says, "If you own it, you can do what you want with it." But fairness says, "If others need it, you should share with them." As my children grew I found it essential to demonstrate fairness toward them, and to insist they do the same. They took some time to comprehend what "justice" meant; until the teen years, they generally associated it with punishment. But they had a much clearer idea of fairness -- to the extent that, when protesting one of my wife's or my decisions, they would never call it unjust; instead, they would cry, "It's not fair!"
I believe the world would be a much better place to live if we would remember some of those lessons our mothers tried to teach us. Imagine if everyone waited patiently in line instead of crowding to the front; people were content to earn what others were earning, not holding out for record-setting salaries; individuals did what was best for the family/team/workgroup rather than insisting on their own preferences. It's sad to see us becoming a nation of grabbers, with no one available to smack our hands and remind us what's fair.
One final note: given the approaching holiday, it's only "fair" to acknowledge my mother for the nurturing love and support she has given me. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!