The Testimony of Charlotte Wells

A Former Roman Catholic Carmelite Nun.

INTRODUCTION

First of all I always want to tell folks that I am not giving this testimony because I have any ill feeling in my heart toward the Roman Catholic people. I couldn't be a Christian if I still had bitterness in my heart. God delivered me from all bitterness and strife one day and made Himself real to me in the power of the Holy Spirit. And so, when I give this testimony, I'm giving it because after God saved me, He delivered me out of the convent and out of bondage to darkness, the Lord laid a burden upon my heart to give this testimony that others might know what plight the convents are. And so as you listen carefully this afternoon, I trust that I'll not say one thing that will leave any feeling in your heart whatsoever that I don't carry a burden for the Roman Catholic people. I don't like the things they do. I don't agree with the things they teach, but I covet their souls for Jesus. I'm interested in their souls. I believe that when Jesus went to Calvary, He died that you and I might know Him. And therefore they're just as precious as your soul and my soul. So I'm interested.

DESIRE TO WORK FOR GOD

First of all, as we get into this testimony, having been born into Roman Catholicism, I didn't know anything else, not knowing the Word of God, because we didn't have the Bible in our home. We had never heard anything about this wonderful plan of salvation. And so, naturally, I grew up in that Roman Catholic home as a child knowing only the catechism, knowing only the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church. And because I loved the Lord, and because I wanted to do something for Him--I wanted to give Him my life--I didn't know of any other way for a Roman Catholic girl to give her life to God other than by entering a convent.

After going to the confessional box there, naturally I'm under the influence of my Father confessor, the Roman Catholic priest--his influence over my life--one day I made up my mind, through his influence and one of my teachers in the parochial school that I wanted to be a little sister. At that time I thought of being a sister of the Open Order. But as I went on into this up until the time I took my White Veil, sixteen at a half years of age, everything was beautiful. I really didn't have any fear in my heart whatsoever. Everything that was taught to me was similar to along the lines of what I had been taught in the Church before I had entered the convent.

And so one day, after making up my mind to enter a convent--I remember that particular day--two of the sisters came home with me from school. They were my teachers. And when we arrived at my father's home that afternoon, our Father confessor was in the home likewise. I often say when I was a little girl, children were seen and not heard. You didn't talk when you was a child, at least you didn't in my family, in my home, unless you were spoken to. And I remember I listened to them carry on a conversation. And then I had moved over close enough to my father to ask him if I could say something. That was a bit out of the ordinary. And he permitted me to talk. And I said, "Dad, I want to go into a convent." And I'll tell you that priest took it up quickly. They had already been influencing me.

My father broke down and began to cry, not because he was sad, but he was very happy. My mother came over and took me in her arms and she too wept tears---she was very happy. Those were not tears of sadness because their little girl was giving her life to the convent to pray for lost humanity. And naturally, my family was very thrilled about it. And I was too.

INTO THE CONVENT

But anyway, I didn't go for about a year after that. And then the time come when I got myself ready and my mother prepared things for me. They took me. And they didn't have a place close enough to my father's and mother's home, so I think they took me around a thousand miles away from home where I entered a convent boarding school. I lacked about three months being thirteen years of age--just as a girl. I look back on it now, and think... my...homesick. I was so homesick! Well, my mommy and daddy, they stayed three days with me and then they left. I became so homesick. Naturally, I was just a baby away from home. When I was a little girl, you know, I never spent a night away from my mother. And I surely had never gone any place without my family. And naturally there was close ties in my family, and I was very lonely and very homesick. But I'll never forget after that mother told me, "Good-bye." And I knew they were traveling a long distance away from me. And I had never realized in my heart I'll never see them again. Naturally I hadn't planned it like that because I'd planned to be a sister of the Open Order.

Listen carefully to this portion of the testimony then you'll understand just why I'm saying some of the things that I am saying. Now oftentimes we say the priest selects his materials through the confessional box, because at seven years of age I went to confessional. At seven years of age I would always, when I'd come into the church first, I'd sit over at the feet of a crucifix...rather the Virgin Mary and then over at the feet of the crucifix, and I'd ask the Virgin Mary to help me make a good confession...because I was a child and my heart was honest. And I knew that the priest taught us to always make a good confession--keep nothing back--tell everything if I expected absolution from any sin that I might have committed.

And so I would ask the Virgin Mary to help me make a good confession. And I would ask Jesus to help me make a good confession. And, you know, I'll assure you after I lived in the convent for a short period of time, now I had to go on with my schooling I had just finished the eighth grade. And they promised me to give me a high school education and som e college education. But I ended up less college. I got mostly just high school training. And they gave that to me all right. I took it under some terrible difficulties and strains and all that and it was rather difficult. But they gave it to me for which I appreciate it very very much. But I'll assure you after they put me through the crucial training that we must go through to become a little initiate entering a convent. The training is very outstanding as far as a nun is concerned. And you know what it's all about after you've been in there a little while.

So now I've entered the convent. And for just a few minutes we want to tell you just a little bit how we live, what we eat, how we sleep. As I take you into the convent, and tell you those things, you'll understand a little bit more about my testimony.

THE WHITE VEIL

First, as I entered the convent, as just a small child and went on to school, I was being trained. But the day came when I was about fourteen and a half when the Mother Superior began telling me about the White Veil. And I didn't know too much about it. By taking the White Veil, they told me that I would become the spouse or the Bride of Jesus Christ. There would be a ceremony. And I would be dressed in a wedding garment.

And on this particular morning, they told me at nine o'clock they would dress me up in a wedding garment. Now, you're wondering where that came from, and how they got the wedding clothes for the little nun. Well, Mother Superior sits down and writes a letter to my father and tells him how much money she wants. And then, whatever she asks, my father sends it. And she, the little buying sister goes out and buy the material, and the wedding garments are made by the nuns of the cloister. (I'm still Open Order now.)

And of course, whatever they asked him he said he would send out the money for the wedding garment. We don't know these things at the very beginning of our testimony, but after you live in a convent for a little while, you learn to know they would ask my father for a hundred dollars and he'd send it. They would use maybe a third of that for the wedding garment. They would keep the rest of it, and my father would never know the difference. Neither did I until I'd lived in a convent for a period of time and I had to make some of the wedding clothes. And then I knew the value of them, and what they cost. And I knew of the money that came in because I was one of the older nuns.

The time came, of course, when I walked down that aisle and I was dressed in a wedding garment. And you know, in the convent, I used to walk the fourteen stations of the cross the fourteen steps that Jesus carried the cross of Calvary, but after I made up my mind to take the White Veil, never again did I walk. I wanted to be worthy. I wanted to be holy enough to become the spouse, the bride, of Jesus Christ. And so I would get down on my knees and would crawl the fourteen stations--quite a distance. But I crawled them every Friday morning. I felt it would make me holy. I felt it would draw me closer to God. It would make me worthy of the step that I was going to take. And that's what I wanted more than anything in the world. I would like to impress on your hearts--every little girl that enters a convent that I know anything about, that child has the desire to live for God. That child has a desire to give her heart and mind and soul to God.

Now many many people make this remark and we hear it from various types of folks who say only bad women go into convents. That isn't true. There are movie stars who go into convents. And they've lived out in the world and no doubt they are sinners and all of that. But they go in when they're women--they know what they're doing. And they go in only because the Roman Catholic Church is going to receive not only thousands, but yea well up into the millions of dollars. And they don't mind who they take in as they can get a lot of money out of that individual.

But the ordinary little girl, that goes in as a child--she's just a child--and she goes in there with her heart and mind and soul just as clean as any child could be. I say that because sometimes we hear a lot of things that are really not true.

Now, after we become the spouse of Jesus Christ--I want you to listen carefully to this, and then you can follow me into the rest of the testimony--we are now looked upon as married women. We are the spouse or the Bride of Jesus Christ.

BECOMING THE BRIDE OF CHRIST

Now the priest teaches every little girl that will take the White Veil they'll become the bride of Christ. He teaches her to believe that her family will be saved. It doesn't make any difference how many banks they rob, how many stores they rob. It doesn't make any difference how they drink and smoke and carouse and live out in this sinful world and do all the things that sinners do. It doesn't make a bit of difference. Our family will be saved if we continue to live in the convent and give our lives to the convent and to the Church, we can rest assured that other members of our immediate family will be saved.

And you know that there are many little children that are influenced and enticed to go into convents because we realize that it will be the salvation for our families. And sometimes, in a Roman Catholic family, the children grow up and leave the Roman Catholic Church and go out into the deepest of sin. And so every little girl who enters into the convent is hoping by her sacrificing so much--home and mother and daddy--everything that a child loves--her family will be saved regardless of what sins they commit. And of course we're children and our minds are immature and we don't know any better. It's so easy to instill things like this into the hearts and minds of little children .. and the priests are really very good at it.

And of course we looked upon our priest--our Father confessor--I looked upon him as God. He's the only god I knew anything about. To me he was infallible. I didn't think he could sin. I didn't think that he would lie. I didn't think that he ever made a mistake. I looked upon him as the holiest of holies, because I didn't know a god, but I did know the Roman Catholic priest. And to me, I looked to him for everything that I asked of God, so to speak, I believed the priest could give it to me.

And so the day comes with all of us. Now as we are going in I want you to listen carefully--after taking the White Veil things are beautiful. I'm sixteen and a half years of age. Everyone's good to me. And I'm living in the convent and I haven't seen anything yet, because no little girl--we're not subject to a Roman Catholic Priest until we're twenty-one years of age. And as we get in this next vow, then you'll understand, we don't know about this. This is kept from the little sisters until we've taken our Black Veil and then it's too late.

I don't carry the keys to those double doors and there's no way for me to come out. The priest will tell all over the whole United States and other countries--that sisters and nuns, rather, can walk out of convents when they want to. I spent twenty-two years there, I did everything that I could do to get out. I've carried tablespoons with me into the dungeon and tried to dig down into that dirt because it's no floors in those cases. But I never yet found myself digging far enough to dig out of a convent with a tablespoon and that's about the only incident. Because when we're using the spade--and we do have to do hard, heavy work--when we use a spade we're being guarded--we're being watched by two older nuns and they're going to report on us--and I'll assure you you're not going to try and dig out with a spade. You wouldn't get very far anyway, because they built and made those convents so little nuns can never escape. That was their purpose in building them. And they'll never get out unless God makes a way. But I believe God's making a way for nuns and little girls to come out of the convent.


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