"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgression. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For as I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in the sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts; and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and i shall be clean: wash me, and i shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou has broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from they presence and take not thy holy spirit away from me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation; and uphold me with they free spirit. Then will I each transgressors they ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee. Deliver me from blood- guiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of they righteousness, O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall show forth they praise. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it. thou delightest not in burn offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." (Psalm 51:1-17)

Those were the first words I ever heard. Where did I hear them? In the Catholic church I loved and trusted? From a Protestant minister? Or from a Christian friend? NO! I heard those words from the Lord Himself. I was at Timken Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital) with my six week old son who was suffering from an undiagnosed condition that was causing him to starve to death. He needed and operation and he was so small and so weak the doctor knew it wouldn't be easy. My son died on the operating table, but the doctor was able to revive him. I will never forget the look on the doctor's face as he told me that he was unable to help my son. He made arrangements to send my son to Children Hospital in hopes that they could help me. As I waited to find out if my son would live or die, I had a horrible thought. It was my sin that caused this! You see, when I was a teenager, I had an abortion. I had put it out of my head until I saw my sons life on the line.

As a Catholic, I knew I could never confess to a priest the sin of an abortion! I was to embarrassed to tell a priest the sin that got me pregnant. How could I tell him this? Besides, I was convinced there was no forgiveness. Ten "Hail Mary's" and an "Our Father" was not going to be enough for this sin! And now here was my son - he could die, and why not? After all, I had taken one of God's children, and now He was going to show me what I had done. Believe me, that day I saw a lot about myself and my life. I got down on my knees and in tears I begged God for forgiveness, and told Him how I now understood what I had done, and that He was just to take my son, and that I would serve Him no matter what happened. There was a Gideon Bible sitting on the table in the waiting room. Here I was in a Catholic hospital and had it not been for the Gideon’s, I highly doubt there would have been a Bible there. I didn’t think about all the rules and regulations concerning reading and interpreting God’s word that Rome had instilled in me, but rather, I opened it up to Psalm 51 and began reading. I started crying with relief, I knew that God Himself heard my confession. I needed no priest. God Himself taught me from His word. I needed no church magisterium. God Himself washed me through His Word and cleansed me from my sin. He didn't want sacrifice, He wanted me to get down on my knees and bow before Him, and acknowledge that I was a sinner and that against him and Him alone had I sinned. God taught me that only He could create in me a clean heart. I couldn't do it, a priest couldn't do it!

The Church of Rome, Mystery Babylon, taught me the sacrament of penance. Through her and her alone could I “obtain forgiveness of my sins,” and even then, I had to pay a price (10 "Hail Mary's" and an "Our Father" or maybe a Rosary is the usual price). But Isa. 55:1 says:

"Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David."

The bottom line is that Jesus Christ paid the price in full! "It is finished." (Jn 19:30) It is done! If it is done, then why does the Catholic church teach us to keep doing...and doing... and doing...it is never done and you are never sure. Psalm 51 said, "Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation." JOY! Not fear that if you miss mass on Sunday, or if you fail to go to confession on Saturday, that you might die and go to hell! What kind of joy is that? Jesus Christ gave me the joy of knowing that I have eternal life. (1Jn 5:13) I am saved! God Himself called me out of the Whore of Babylon. God Himself has kept me in His Word and in His Way. God Himself will keep me until the day He comes and meets us in the air (1Thess. 4:7, Jude 24) That's GOOD NEWS! THAT'S JOY!

Looking back, I realize that my son was not the only one starving to death. I had never opened a Bible in the Catholic church (you can just use the missal at mass). But believe, if you do no pick up your Bible (and I only recommend the King James Version) and start reading it, you will starve to death. The bread is free. Jesus made it very simple. Confess your sins to Him and HE will forgive you! Humble yourself and He will be the lifter of your head. AS one would dig for gold, dig deep in to his Word and you will find a priceless treasure. You will find joy. You will find salvation through the finished work of Christ on the cross! Read God's Word and rest in Him. Looking back I also thank the Lord that there are Christians out there that cared enough to freely lay that Bible there for me to see. It changed my life forever. By the way, my son is now 21 years old. He reads his Bible and loves the Lord Jesus with all his heart.

“Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts.” (Jer.15:16)

by Diane M Schoeppner