You think "limbo" is a place rather than a dance! Catholicism use to teach that all unborn babies went to a place called "limbo" where they would never see the face of God. They have changed and no longer teach this doctrine.

Getting a mark on your forehead is an annual event! Every year on Ash Wednesday, Catholics receive a mark on their foreheads. Pehaps Satan is preparing their hearts to take the mark of the beast? (Read Rev.13:16-18 and 14:9-11)

You've had your brain washed, but it's still filthy!

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Rom.12:2)

Your mother wears the pants, and your "father" wears a dress!

"...Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart." (1Sam.16:5)

You'd spend your beer money getting your mother-in-law out of “purgatory". (beer..mom...beer..mom...hmm...beer!) The wages of sin is "death" not purgatory. (Rom.6:23) There is no scriptural foundation for purgatory.

The idols in your front yard outnumber the Bible verses you have memorized. (One idol in the yard and not one Bible verse memorized!)

"Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the thrid and fourth generation of them that hate me." (Exo.20:4-5)

You have more calluses on your heart, than on your knees! But the word of God says,

"Ye stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost: as your fathers did, so do ye." (Psa.51:10)

You think God is made by the Pillsbury Dough Boy. But the Lord says,

"Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands; as saith the prophets, Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool: what house will ye build me? saith the Lord: or what is the place of my rest?" (Acts 7:48-49)

You've ever asked yourself, "Hmmm, now which saint is it for stopped up toilets?" But the Lord says,

"Behold, he putteth no trust in his saints; yea, the heavens are not clean in his sight." (Job 15:15)

And again, "Call now, if there be any that will answer thee; and to which of the saints wilt thou turn?" (Job 5:1)

You can handle a string of beads better than a Navaho. But the Lord says,

"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking." (Matt.6:7)

You say, "Holy Mary" more than a Hindu says, "Holy cow!". But the Lord says,

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." (Acts 4:12)

You thought the Mamas and Pappas big hit was Maundy Maundy instead of Monday Monday.

You think the “abomination of desolation” is a Bible believing Christian. But the Lord says,

"Seek ye out of the book of the Lord and read; no one of these shall fail...." (Isa.34:16)

The Bible has a special place in your home...right under the T.V. Guide. But the Lord says,

"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." (2Tim.2:15)

When you hear the word "Revelation", you don't think of the last book of the Bible, but of the last appearance of Mary. But the Bible says,

"God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds." (Heb.1:1-2)

You come home to find your statues have been bleeding all over your carpeting again. The Lord warns us:

"For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way. And then shall the Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord whall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming: Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders."

You think a cook-out means roasting Protestants on an open fire! It has been estimated that Catholicism has murdered over 100 million people during her reign of terror known as the "Dark Ages". Rev.17:5-6 says,

"And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration."

There is a drastic temperature increase after you die.

"And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life...And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire." (Rev.20:15, 27)

You send Hallmark cards on St. Bartholomew's Day [Massacre].

"For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him? Because his own works were evil, and his brother's righteous. Marvel not, my brethren, if the world hate you. We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. Whoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him."

You repented for the time you thought you knew you were saved. Catholicism teaches that it is the "sin of presumption" to believe that you are saved based merely on the grace of God separate from any good work one may do. But the Bible says,

"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour: That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:5-7)

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Not of works lest any man should boast." (Eph.2:8-9)

"What shall we say then that Abraham our father, as pertaining to the flesh, hath found? For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God. For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin."

You have never heard about the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. Come eat and drink without price!

"Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David."(Isaiah 55:1-3)

A special thanks to Rick Hook for his keen sense of humor!