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Chapter 49. They Must Conform to Me!
I have had dogs all my life. Without exception, every dog could be trusted to walk off leash -- That is, until I got Tina.
Tina had come into the CACC as a "stray." But, it was obvious the little Corgi mix wasn't truly a "stray." Tina was too cheerful, naive, trusting and exuberant.
It didn't take long to figure out that Tina's former owners made the potentially deadly mistake of letting Tina off-leash in open space; perhaps a park. Tina saw a squirrel or something that caught her attention and simply took off. Run, run, run on those little legs with nary a look back! That is Tina. She has no fear of cars, wandering off her territory or anything else. To Tina, the world is one big playground, completely devoid of danger, threat or tragedy.
I had Tina about four months when one Sunday morning, I took her to Central Park.
Before 9AM, dog owners are permitted to let their dogs off leash near and on the area of the Great Lawn. Tina, was in fact, the only dog on leash this particularly bright morning. She pulled on her lead when seeing all the other dogs having fun. "Please, Mommy, let me run with the others?" Tina seemed to plead.
Well, OK, I thought to myself. I had, after all spent time trying to train Tina to understand basic commands, "Come, sit, stay." I felt I could trust her to stay close to me. I unclipped the buckle to her leash.
But, no sooner had I unsnapped the leash, when Tina was off like a lightening bolt! Past the other dogs, people, the Great Lawn itself. The little legs were in frantic and forward motion. There were no looks back, despite my loud and panicked calls to her. "Tina, Tina, COME, COME!!!"
Tina had some destination in mind and nothing in the world was going to stop her -- least of all, desperate calls from her caregiver.
Tina headed to the other side of Turtle Pond and up a pathway leading to Belvedere Castle. I followed as quickly as I could screaming her name repeatedly, but Tina was seemingly and suddenly deaf. Run, run, run, faster, faster!
It took a good 45 minutes for me to finally retrieve my dog on the steps leading to the castle while bemused onlookers snickered. Yea, yea, don't say it. I already know my dog isn't trained! Aside from being totally out of breath, I was mortified with embarrassment.
I never took Tina back to the Park in the early morning again. This kind of "workout" wasn't fun.
But, I did make a similar mistake again about two years later on Thanksgiving Day.
The day was cold and a messy mix of snow and rain. I decided to take Tina for a walk around the Reservoir where Jackie Kennedy once loved to jog.
There was no one on the famous jogging path that quiet holiday. The going was slow, muddy and slushy. Melting ice presented potential hazards for people on the run. Tina and I trudged on, my boots dragging in the slushy mess.
Because it was so quiet and because there was fencing around the reservoir, I decided to give Tina a little taste of freedom. "Please, Mommy, I'll be good, I promise!" Once again, Tina's soft eyes pleaded to me. And once again, as soon as her leash was unclipped, Tina was gone in less time than it takes one to say, "Danger! Slippery When Wet"
This time Tina headed to the West Side of Manhattan. Snow, wind, ice and rain did not deter or slow her down. Once again, Tina did not look back despite my desperate calls out into nowhere.
My feet were drenched with melting snow in my boots by the time I finally caught up to Tina. I wanted to ring her neck! "Damb, what's with you anyway? You CANNOT be trusted!"
It was a long, cold and ponderously slow walk back to the East Side. Rain poured down on both, Tina and myself. Nevertheless, on that Thanksgiving Day, I was "thankful" for just having caught up to my wayward dog.
I have since learned that despite our previous experiences with animals, our knowledge and our desires, each dog or cat is an individual and their behavior and personality has to be acknowledged and understood accordingly.
Much is made of training and behavior modification these days. And yes, while patient and humane training can go a long way in helping to control undesirable behaviors, it does not change an animal's natural instincts or personality; strengths or weaknesses. It is vitally important that one understands and KNOWS his or her particular animal.
I have a dog who has no fear of anything -- including cars and other situations of obvious danger. Healthy fears are necessary for survival of most species. But, for Tina, her absence of natural fear does not allow for her survival running free. All the "training" in the world, (to my way of thinking) will not change that. Despite the fact I have always been able to train my former dogs to be off-leash, Tina is the exception to the rule. I cannot "make" Tina conform to me. I need to understand and acknowledge, both, my dog's strengths AND her weaknesses and act accordingly.
My dog is wonderful with me and wonderful around other animals. But, Tina can never be allowed to run free off leash. I accept that and no longer seek to try and change it.
Sadly, in today's demanding, "perfection"-driven world, we too often try to change the people around us, ourselves and our pets.
Too often people will say to me, "I need a dog who is going to be good with my kids, our cats, not shed, not mess up the house. But, I also need a dog who is going to be protective."
I have to tell such people that no dog is going to be "all things" -- gentle with your kids and your kids friends, but at the same time, go after a potential burglar. One has to know and pick their priorities.
For me, it is essential to have a dog who is good with other animals. Tina is all that and more. While it would be nice to have a dog who can also walk off-leash (as I always had in the past), it is not a necessity I have had to pick my priorities and accept that I don't have 100% of what I might desire in a dog. Still, I am happy with my beautiful, sweet Tina.
As with other people and life itself, the world doesn't conform to us, we have to conform to it. We have to pick our priorities and learn to live without those things which are nonessential.
As no woman or man is going to be "all things" to a partner, neither are our animals. The wise among us, recognize and pursue what's necessary to our needs and personal well-being and forget the "frills."
Acceptance seemingly one of the keys to happiness with pets, people and life.