Speech Memorial to Jeremy

My friend Michael Alexander is a member of Edison Loquacious Toastmasters, in Rosemead, California. Michael wrote and delivered this beautiful piece, for the memorial service of his wife's uncle, Jeremy.

The sad truth is that death comes too soon to almost every man and woman. But the true measure of a man's life should not be how long he lived, but how much he filled that life with. The world is full of many wonderful and exciting opportunities to bring pleasure and love, joy and growth to oneself and to others. And these opportunities were not wasted on Jeremy. He lived his life well, and he made all of us the richer for his having been part of our lives.

There were many parts to Jeremy. He was an artist. He was a gourmet cook, a loving partner. He was an Anglophile, a draper, and a florist. He was a good Episcopalian, and he was a Disney enthusiast. Jeremy was a jewel with many facets. And even as I speak these words of Jeremy, I know there are things that he did, which touched and enriched each of you, which I may know nothing of. And that too is as it should be.

Jeremy was proud of the work he did for Chase Manhattan Bank. Proud of the people that he helped in his role as benefits councilor. On the other hand, he was a fine painter, and if he could have made a living at it, he would have loved to give up the bank and become an artist.

But not a starving artist. He lived too well for that. And he cooked too well for that. Any man who can make me love brussel sprouts has a rare talent indeed. And with foods that I loved anyway. [Kiss fingers.].

He and Jeffrey were loving partners for 17 years. Seventeen years. Do you realize how rare it is, in today's day and age for a relationship to last that long? But he and Jeffrey had something very special, something very strong, and something very enduring.

Their home was cluttered with many beautiful objects d'art. And of them all, Jeremy's favorite were the things British. I think the metaphor of an empire that could always manage to celebrate tea time, even in the most remote recesses of the world appealed to him. Certainly Jeremy was never one to sacrifice civility to expediency. While he enjoyed whatever he was given, and was the most gracious of guests when he traveled, he was never one to compromise on style and gracious living.

But, let us not oversimplify the man. For all his fascination with civility and nobility, for all his love of flash and panache ... His favorite Disney character wasn't Jiminy Cricket, with his top hat and tails ... It was Goofy, who, like Jeremy, knew that the most important thing in life is the pleasure that you get out of it.

Jeremy was also a big believer in education. Rather than accept the constraints which his current skill and knowledge set placed upon him, Jeremy consistently tried to expand them, and to improve himself.

He loved his family. He was proud to think of himself as a son, as a brother, as an uncle, as a great uncle, as Jeffrey's partner. When I had the good fortune to marry Jeremy's niece Michelle, he not only embraced me as part of his family, but embraced my whole family as well.

I think that, in some ways, that's why he loved flowers so much. Not only are they beautiful and the herbs are tasty, but they are something that one can grow and nurture. And properly planted, they will last far beyond the life of any one man, far beyond any one generation.

He leaves us quite a legacy. A legacy of love and of laughter, of elegance and joy, of reaching beyond oneself to help others. While we are all sadder for his passing, we are all greater for having known him.