English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.
Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock.
That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved - and never will achieve - its full potential, that word would be ... "meetings."
We could learn a lot from crayons ...
Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors ... But they all have to learn to live in the same box.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant ... unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Men might as well project a voyage to the moon as attempt to employ steam navigation against the stormy north Atlantic Ocean. Dr. Dionysus Lardner (1793-1859), Professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, University College, London.
The Senility Prayer
God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Optimist sees only the bagel.
Pessimist sees only the hole.
Pragmatist just eats the bagel.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!
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