By Breda Joy

WHEN Denise Griffin's brave spirit finally surrendered to her illness at 12.20pm on Wednesday, December 16, the world was all the poorer for her passing.

Denise had just celebrated her 20th birthday a bare two months earlier but, despite her all too brief span of years, she had packed an awesome amount of experience into her life.

An independent and determined young woman, she had been daughter, sister, mother, wife, worker and friend. And the sum of all those roles still does not capture the total contribution she made to life - always with enthusiasm.

Eamon, her boyfriend of four years and her husband of barely three days, and her parents, Denis and Eleanor Cronin were at her bedside in the Bon Secours Hospital in Tralee when she died.

Up to that point, there had been a lot of hustle and bustle around the hospital the usual sounds of visitors and medical staff going about their business.

But Eamon and Denise's parents noticed that when Denise took her last breath, there wasn't a sound - not even from the open window.

``It was as if she picked her moment to go,'' Denis said. ``She timed everything.''

Eamon and Denise's parents convey a picture of a determined young woman who never did things in half measures, a person with a strong sense of self-belief and confidence.

Her own Curriculum Vitae give an indication of the breadth of her achievements. The list included two life-saving certificates from the National Safety Council of Ireland; a certificate in Basic First Aid from the Irish Red Cross Society; a certificate from Irish college in Ballybunion; two honours awards from the Irish Board of Speech and Drama, and three certificates from the Jung Soo Park Tae Kwon-Do Federation.

On a lighter note, Denise was also a fully integrated Start Fleet Officer with the Tralee Star Trek Society.

Born on October 10, 1978, Denise was the elder of Denis and Eleanor's two daughters. Her sister, Elaine, is 16.

Because of her success at Speech and Drama at school, Denise was asked to consider joining Equity and she was also invited to try modelling. She was a pupil of the Yamaha School of Music.

``She was the kind of girl that tried a bit of everything, and it was as if she knew herself in her early life.....'' Denis and Eleanor said. ``She did Irish dancing at one stage. She even did pottery. One of the nurses said Denise put everything into her 20 years. She got great satisfaction out of small things.''

After she left school at the Presentation Convent, Denise worked with her father for a while at his cafe in the Mall, The Snackery. She worked at Heatons and at Fullman Batteries. She enjoyed holidays in America and Canada.

Eamon and Denise first met four years ago at a disco in Horans when she was just 16 and he was 20. He soon discovered that the good-looking, dark-haired girl had a determined spirit.

``No matter what she wanted to do, it was done,'' Eamon said. ``You could advise her but she wouldn't listen to you.''

He gave an example of how Denise would bar everyone from coming into the house after she had washed the floors. She was very house-proud and had a gift for interior design, picking out attractive colours to paint all the rooms.

The carefree life of Eamon and Denise was jolted when Denise became pregnant unexpectedly but the birth of their daughter, Erika, on October 4, 1996, brought a new dimension to their lives.

The couple worshipped their tiny daughter and Denise was a devoted mother from the moment she was born. She wanted to be with Erika all the time, and would only go out at night if she was asleep in bed.

``Erika was the one,'' Eamon said. ``Erika was first and Denise put herself second. She put everyone before herself. She spent everything she had on her.''

The pleasure that the couple had in their young daughter was cruelly interrupted in July, 1997, when Denise was diagnosed with a very rare form of bone cancer, Ewing's Sarcoma. The family had noticed that her health had seemed to be slipping for six months before that but they were ill-prepared for the news of her illness.

While Denise's fighting spirit came to the fore when her illness was diagnosed, she wasn't spared all the darkness and despair that it brought. She asked the obvious question `Why me?' and wondered who would be there to look after her baby, and would she see her first steps.

``Her first thought was she would never see her walk, or see her first birthday,'' Eamon said. ``She had to fight for everything along the line.''

Denise's will to survive was linked to her desire to be with Erika for as long as she could. She poured all her love and attention into her daughter, playing with her, talking to her, teaching her to count and to chant some of the alphabet.

The love which Denise lavished on Erika and Eamon and all her family was returned to her 100-fold during the 18 months of her illness. Through their encouragement, she fulfilled her ambition to learn to drive. When her illness affected her legs, they got her an automatic car. Another gift was a Saint Bernard which Erika nicknamed BJ.

Last April, the family holidayed in the Canaries to give Denise a taste of sunshine.

``In the last one and a half years, we gave her everything we could give her because we knew her life was limited,'' her parents said.

Because she was self-conscious about her appearance when she lost her hair during chemotherapy treatment, Denise preferred not to go out to pubs in Tralee Town but she always felt at home and comfortable at the Strand Road Club House.

Every precious milestone was savoured right up to Erica's second birthday last October. But, by then, the illness was beginning to take its toll.

Denise and Eamon went out for a meal to celebrate her own birthday on October 10. The day afterwards she felt ill and, with the exception of One outing down town, she spent the rest of her time at home in bed.

Denise had spent almost six weeks in the Bon Secours Hospital prior to her death on December 16. All through this time, her family visited regularly and Erika was brought to see her two or three times a day. Despite the difficult times she went through - especially in the final three weeks - her spirit shone through. And even with heavy medication, her sharp mind was alert.

When Denise's condition worsened on Friday, December 11, the family was prepared for the worst. But each day after that, she confounded both the nursing staff and her family by holding onto life tenaciously.

When she exchanged wedding with Eamon the following Monday afternoon, he was surprised at the strength she could still summon to place the ring on his finger.

The end, when it came on Wednesday, took them by surprise. But Denise, ever-organised, had prepared everything down to the most minute details of her funeral.

Erika is a ray of light in the dark days that have followed her mother's death. Her grand-dad calls her `a miniature Denise'.

``They are all saying she looks like me but she has her mother's personality,'' Eamon said.

Denise is her survived by her parents, Denis and Eleanor Cronin, and her sister, Elaine. Her late grandfather was Denis Cronin. Her grandmother, Bridie(nee O'Sullivan) lives at Liosdara, Tralee. Her aunt, Jacqueline, also lives in Tralee.

Her maternal grandparents were the late John and Mary O'Neill, Moybella, Lisselton. She is also survived by her aunts and uncles, Nora Foley, Listowel, Kay Brosnan, Tralee, and Patrick O'Neill, Moybella. Her late aunt, Margo Lennon, lived in Northampton, England.

Eamon is a son of the late Christy and Mary Griffin of Cahill's Park, Tralee. He has one sister, Martina.

A YOUNG Kerry woman, who bravely fought her battle with cancer to the end, married her boyfriend of four years in a simple hospital ceremony less than 48 hours before she died.

One of the dearest wishes of Denise Cronin, aged 20, came true at the Bon Secours Hospital in Tralee when she said `I do' to Eamon Griffin, aged 24, from her hospital bed.

Her wish to see their two-year-old daughter, Erika, start school was sadly not to be. Denise had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer about nine months after Erika was born, but her fierce hold on life had enabled her to experience milestones such as her young daughter's first steps and first words.

The Tralee couple had planned to have a conventional wedding but Denise's illness intervened. When her condition worsened on Friday, December 11, Eamon went to her parents, Denis and Eleanor, and asked them what he should do, and they approved of going ahead with the hospital wedding.

``I asked Denise, and she smiled and said `yes','' Eamon told The Kerryman.

A priest prayed with the couple and blessed them that Friday night but it was the following Monday, December 14, that Eamon and Denise were married by Fr Padraig Walsh in the presence of the couple's parents and a small group of close relatives.

Eamon spoke of the determined spirit which carried Denise through the ordeal of her illness and her wish not to be pitied.

``You accepted her as Denise and not `poor, sick Denise','' he said.

Her rich sense of humour was to the fore even the Tuesday before she died when she joked with a nurse: `You know I'm Mrs Eamon Griffin now. You'll have to call me that from now on'.

Denise died peacefully on Wednesday, December 16, at 12.20pm.

A resourceful and independent person, Denise had made plans for a big Wedding from her hospital bed. She had compiled a list of 164 people and joked that this was just the family.

But she had also faced the eventuality that her illness was terminal and made arrangements for her funeral. She asked for yellow roses from her family and for specific hymns to be sung by Tralee singer Bill Corcoran.

In a measure of incredible sensitivity and insight, she directed that Funeral Director Pat Gleasure close her coffin after her family had said their final good-bye and left the funeral home - to save them the heartbreak of experiencing that final severance.

She was denied her wish to see Erika start school but had left detailed instructions for the little girl's future, including what schools she should go to.

Preaching at the Requiem Mass at Saint John's Church, Tralee, on Friday, December 18, Fr Padraig Walsh said Denis and Eleanor had lost a dear and a loving daughter but they felt proud of the son they had gained in Eamon.

Fr Walsh described Denise as `very determined, a person of great strength of mind, of great singleness of spirit'.

``Denise knew more than anybody else that recovery was not to be,'' he said. ``She spoke very calmly about death and, in the end, she had no fear.''

Fr Walsh thanked the following people who had supported the family through Denise's illness: Dr Nóirín Ní Scanláin; the doctors and nursing staff of the Bon Secours Hospital, and the Mater and Cappagh Hospitals, Dublin; Dr Joe Arthurs; Dr Fitzelle and Dr Dynan; the Hospice Nurses; Mary Leahy and staff, Oakpark Pharmacy; relatives and friends, and Carmel and Paul.

Denise's remains were cremated in Dublin at her request and a family burial service was held at Rath Cemetery on Sunday.