Redneck Love Poem
Collards is green, my dog's name is blue,
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze,
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May,
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan,
Yo're as fragrant as snuff right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,for which I am proud,
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purdy young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there for yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin overhead,
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin I lack.
Yore complexion; it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin,
Despite all the years, yore age , it keeps hidin.
Me 'n' you's like a moon pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day,
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive." I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth,
"Diamonds are forever." they explain, suave and cooth.
But for this man, honey, these won't do,
Cause yor'e to special, you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds....IT'S A NEW TROLL 'N' MOTOR!!
