Charlize, if you're out there, I saw you in Devil's Advocate and I am looking forward to seeing you in Mighty Joe Young even though it looks like a pointless remake of a 1950's King Kong rip-off. You see, I'm writing this because I think you're fly, and if you could get in touch with me somehow and maybe we could hang out or something. And if neither of us are seeing anyone else maybe we could make out. Or not.
Shit.