Hello. I'm a daisy. Yeah, that's right asshole, I'm a fucking daisy, a flower. I would tell you my name, but my parents pollenated from a different part of town and I've never been given a formal name. But I generally go by "Buzzsaw" or "Buzzsaw of Death", so I guess you can call me that.
So yeah, I guess you could call me a real hard-ass. I don't put up with people who say "Hey, fuck you, you stupid daisy!" or "Daisies are gay!". No sir, none of that shit. I suck the vitamins right out of them fuckers' soil.
Let me tell you, humans take for granted the power of mobility. There are days when I just wanna up outta the ground and mangle the fuck out of some of these flowers here in the garden. Like them pussy-ass tulips. What a bunch of content little fuckers. The other day they were all "tee-hee"ing about some hummingbird. Well fuck you, you giggling tulip shit-heads. You don't think us daisies wish we were good enough for some fuckin hummingbirds? Us with our naturally shallow buds, only capable of pollenating through insects... Show some goddamn respect.
But yeah, the other day I saw this new daisy on the other side of the garden. I'd really like to stick my stigma in her anther, if you catch my drift... but noooo. I don't even have a stigma, I have to wait for some fucking hornet to jump in my lap and cover himself with my seed. So fuck tulips and snapdragons and all them nectar-making douche bags.
Anyway, at this point I'm sure you're thinking "Well, sure, Buzzsaw sounds like a tough guy, but he's a daisy, so he must be a fag.". Well, first off, I won't be a queer ass flower for you or anyone else, fairy boy. Second, I hate homo flowers. I mean, just the other day a dog came in the garden. He walked straight over into the queer section of the garden (the one where they plant those fruity looking pansies) over by the tool shed and lifted his leg. Oh man, I saw it coming but I didn't say anything. He pissed right on them pansies. We all had a good laugh, but I guess it's funny no matter what when a dog pisses on a flower that isn't you. Don't get me wrong, you can't help it if you're born a pansy. But just because they're in the same genus as me doesn't mean I have to like them. Faggoty-ass pansies...