Distorted Image of Muslim Women
by a former
non-Muslim,
Sister Naasira bint Ellison
Since the height of the feminist movement in the late 70's there
has been a magnifying glass placed over the status of Muslim women.
Unfortunately, the magnifying glass that has been used is an unusual
one. Unusual in the sense that it is very selective about which
items it will magnify; other items it will distort to such a degree
that they will no longer look familiar. I remember once reading
in an "in depth" article about the lives of Muslim women.
This article "explained" that at any time a man can
divorce his wife by simply stating "I divorce you, I divorce
you, I divorce you". This article can lead anyone ignorant
of the Islamic ruling regarding divorce to believe that in less
than five seconds the woman is left with no husband and is left
to care for herself (and possibly children) by any means necessary.
The question that immediately popped up in my mind was, "Did
the author innocently write that out of sincere ignorance or was
it another of the many attempts to degrade the religion of Islam
and its followers (Muslims)?" It may be my own paranoia,
but I tend to believe it was the latter of the two.
The truth of the matter is that Islam has the most humane and
most just system of divorce that exists. Firstly, many options
are taken and tried before coming to the decision of the divorce.
If the man and woman decide that they can no longer live together
successfully as a husband and wife, the husband (in most cases,
not always) pronounces the divorce by saying "I divorce you".
At this point the waiting period begins. The waiting period lasts
for three menstrual cycles to assure the woman is not pregnant.
This period allows the couple time to think about what they are
doing and if this is what they really want to do. There are no
lawyers involved to antagonize an already delicate situation.
In the case that it is realized, that the woman is pregnant, the
waiting period lasts the entire time she is pregnant. During the
waiting period (whether the woman is pregnant or not) the man
is obligated to provide food, clothing and shelter to the woman
as he did before the divorce pronouncement. If the couple carries
the divorce through to the birth of the child and the woman suckles
the baby, the man is obligated to feed and clothe both his ex-wife
for the time the woman suckles (the maximum being two years).
After this weaning, the child will be provided for by the father
until he/she is no longer in need of support.
It is quite ironic that in such an "advanced society"
as America, there are divorce cases in which women are being forced
to pay alimony to their ex-husbands. Can this and many other things
we know about the American system of divorce compare to the Islamic
system of divorce?
I have also read stories wherein it is stated that women are forced
to marry men without their consent. This in no way resembles the
marriage system in Islam. In Islam the woman marries the man of
her choice. She may even marry someone that her mother and/or
father objects to. The point is that it is the woman who makes
the final decision as to whom she will marry. Once the man and
the woman decide that they are interested in one another for marriage,
a dowry is decided upon. A dowry is not a brides price but, it
is a gift from the groom to the bride. They agree upon a gift
that is affordable by the groom. In the time of the Prophet (sas),
often things such as livestock and money were given. This is a
wise decision in the event that a woman becomes divorced or widowed,
she has some financial security to fall back on even if it is
for a limited amount of time. Once the man and woman are married,
the man is required to clothe, feed, shelter and educate her (or
allow her to be educated) in the same manner as he does himself.
The last distorted image that I will cover is that of the
Muslim women's dress. The western influenced media portrays our dress
to be outdated and oppressive. Needless to say however, I differ
with these adjectives. Our dress code does not hinder us from
doing anything productive in our lives. Muslim women maintain
a variety of jobs, non of which are devalued nor hampered due
to their dress code. And as for the timing of Muslims women's
dress during these contemporary times, it seems most appropriate
due to decreasing morals in the world today.
For those who say that Islamic dress is outdated, they speak from
great ignorance. The decreasing morality and trials of this time
makes Hijab even more in need. More than ever before sex crimes
are rampant. Although this society tells women they can wear what
they want to wear, anytime a rape occurs the woman is the one
put on trial an one of the first questions is, "What were
you wearing?" This concept seems as though it is a set up
directed against the so called contemporary woman. Also there
is a direct correlation between the respect a man has for a woman
and the amount of her body her body she displays flauntingly.
In conclusion, I hope this article helped to clear up some distorted/misunderstood
aspects of Islam and women. Women in Islam are respected and held
in high regard. We will never find success and/or solutions to
our problems until we realize that Allah knows best and that this
disbelieving society will ruin itself.
Taken from Hudaa magazine, Jamaica, New York.