January 27, 1998
Dear Brooke,
Something terrible happened yesterday and I don't know how to tell you about it. I know you are too young to understand what has happened, but you must wonder why we are all crying. I know you know something is wrong. You want to be held a lot, and I certainly don't mind that. I need to hold you a lot right now. Maybe someday you will read this letter and you will understand what happened.
In a way, you are lucky right now, because you are too young to understand what has happened. For that, I am glad. But it also makes me very sad to think of what you have lost. You don't know it yet but you lost something very important yesterday, too. You see, Aaron was in a car accident and was killed. It's been a terrible shock, totally unexpected, and I still can't believe that it's true. Oh, Brooke, he's been such a part of this family for so long that I don't know what we will do without him. He's been a wonderful friend to Lewis. For years and years, they have done so much together - fishing, hunting, camping, riding bikes then motorcycles together, four-wheeling and ski-dooing... just about everything they did, they did together. They were always out in the garage tinkering on something, trying to get it to run better than it did. (Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Your dad and I used to worry a lot, until they started working on their own stuff.) Lewis and Aaron were such a pair. They could spend days on end together and never get sick of each other, it seemed. I don't know how they did it, but they did. They were truly the best of friends.
Now I don't know what Lewis will do... or what any of us will do. We'll miss Aaron so much. He was such a good kid. He was always polite and willing to help. If he was here and there was work to be done, he would work right along beside us and have fun while he was at it. He had a wonderful sense of humor and he knew when and how to use it to help others feel better. He could always make us laugh. And you were special to him Brooke, I know it. Whenever he was here, he would come in and pick you up or talk to you or marvel at your latest accomplishments. He loved to get a smile out of you, and was always entertained by the way you ate or held a rattle or made a noise at him. One day he came in the house to get a tool, and you were on the floor in the living room. He came in and got right down on the floor with you. I was there, too, trying to get a good picture of you holding your head up. You surprised us both by rolling over for the very first time and, I swear, Aaron was just as excited as I was! We were both very proud of you, Brooke! I guess that's why it makes me sad to think about you and Aaron. I know he would have been a good friend to you as you grew up. He would have looked out for you. He would have been there to encourage you and help you and make you laugh. He would have been proud of you, over and over again. I hope he still can be, somehow.
I'll never forget Aaron's reaction when he first found out that you were on the way. He just couldn't believe that Lewis was going to have another brother or sister. It took him a while to really believe it because he thought Lewis and I were playing a joke on him. We were all in the car one day... I can't remember now if I was taking them to town to pick up a part or if I was going to drop them off somewhere to go fishing, but I happened to mention something about "the baby," which is how we referred to you back then. He spoke right up and said, "What? What baby? What are you talking about?"
I said, "Lewis didn't tell you?"
"Aaron, I didn't tell you yet?" Lewis asked.
"Didn't tell me what?"
"That I'm going to have a baby," I said.
"WHAT?!? No, he didn't tell me! Are you kidding? You've GOT to be kidding!"
"No, I'm not..."
"Yes, you are. You must be!" Aaron said. I looked at him in the rear view mirror and shook my head, no.
He looked back with disbelieving eyes. "Well, when is the baby due then?" he challenged.
"March 20th," I replied.
He shook his head and laughed. "No, there's no baby due in March. You're pulling my leg. I know you are! So just stop, okay? I don't believe you guys."
On and on it went, with me trying to convince Aaron that it really was true, and with him sure that Lewis and I were in cahoots, trying to pull one over on him. It became a running joke with us as my pregnancy continued, with Lewis and I insisting that it was true, and Aaron never quite believing it. Even as I began to show, he resisted. "Do you believe me now, Aaron?" I asked, patting my tummy as I walked through the dining room one day. He and Lew were finishing off a big spaghetti feed, as they often did, eating later than the rest of us because their work in the garage and been too important to take a break from until it was complete.
"Oh, anyone can stuff a pillow up under their shirt," he said, jokingly. He got up and grabbed a pillow from the couch and put it under his shirt, patting his big belly as he walked around the house. He had us all laughing, as usual.
Somewhere along the way, Aaron finally believed that there really was a baby on the way. He hated to admit it, though, and the joke continued even after you were born. One day when Aaron was playing with you I said, "Now, Aaron, you must finally believe me about the baby now, don't you?"
He looked at me and grinned, then said, "Oh, this is probably some neighbor's baby that you bring over whenever you know I'm coming." and went back to his "conversation" with you. He was such a kidder.
Brooke, it makes me so sad to think that you will never really know Aaron. I know that somewhere in your tiny mind you have memories of him, and I don't want you to forget them. I want you to know what a wonderful person Aaron was... a friend to Lew, and a friend to all of us... and how much we are all missing from our lives now that he is gone. When Aaron left, I think he took a piece of all of us with him. But he also left us with a piece of himself, and I think we are better people for it. I know we are. Honey, I want to make sure you always know Aaron's name, and his face, and what a special person he was. Somehow I will do that. I promise.
I love you, little Brookey.
Mom
This is the picture of Brooke, just after she rolled over for the first time.