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State Mottos
- Alabama: At least we're not Mississippi!
- Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
- Arizona: Dehyd-rific!
- Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing
- California: As Seen on TV
- Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
- Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
- Delaware: We're too small to have a motto
- Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
- Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism
- Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
- Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
- Illinois: Gateway to Iowa
- Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
- Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk
- Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
- Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
- Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
- Maine: Cheap Lobster
- Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware
- Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
- Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
- Minnesota: For Sale
- Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
- Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
- Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomer, and Very Little Else
- Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
- Nevada: Whores and Poker!
- New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone
- New Jersey: You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
- New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
- New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney
- North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
- North Dakota: Um... We've got... Um... Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
- Ohio: Don't Judge Us by Cleveland
- Oklahoma: Like the Play Only No Singing
- Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner
- Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
- Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
- South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
- South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
- Tennessee: The Educashun State
- Texas: Se Habla Ingles
- Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
- Vermont: Yep
- Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
- Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
- Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
- West Virginia: One Big Happy Family -- Really!
- Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
- Wyoming: Wynot?
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