Ugly

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was.  Ugly was the resident tomcat.  Ugly loved three things in this world:  fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love.  The combination of these things along with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.  To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole.  He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot must have been broken badly at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner

His tail had long been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch.  Ugly would have been a dark tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick yellowing scabs.  Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one Ugly cat!"  All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, even shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always responded the same way to the abuse.  If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there getting soaked until you gave up and quit.  If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would run up to them meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love.  If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors Husky.  The dog didn't respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled.  From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid.  By the time I arrived he was laying motionless, and I could tell Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.

Ugly lay in a wet circle of his own blood, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, with a gaping tear in the white strip of fur on his chest. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel his struggles.  I must be hurting him I thought.  Then I felt a familiar tugging, a sensation on my ear.   Ugly in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear.  I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distant sound of purring.  Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battle scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment as I look upon Ugly, I thought him to be the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen.  Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, struggle or try to get away.  Ugly just looked up completely trusting me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly.

Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful.  He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply.  To give my total self  to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.

Who was there when you died,pretty one? Who was there when you left this place? Who was there to say goodbye,pretty one? Who was there to rain tears on your face? Were you hurt and in pain,pretty one? Were you hungry and cold and alone? Were you sick and afraid,pretty one? Were you just too tired to go on? Somebody loves you,pretty one, Though you may not have seen her this time. Someone will hold you,pretty one, When your trials in this life are behind. Head straight for the Bridge,pretty one. Run swift,and run straight and you'll see. There is food,there is sun,pretty one. There is nothing and no one to fear. And there's also,for you,my pretty one, The love that you never felt here. They are waiting for you,my pretty one. And I'll follow,to hold you,my dear. Go to sleep,pretty one,and forget. Forget the horrible life humankind has dealt you. And awake to renewal,and contentment,and joy. Stretch in the sun,pretty one!