Adam's Suit

   A little boy opened the big old family Bible and with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them.  Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely.  It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.  "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
    "What have you got there?" his mother asked. 
    With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!"

Jesus is watching you

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you!" the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot "What's your name?"
"Clarence", said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus!" 

A man and a frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron " The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom!  He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?"
The frog reply's "Ribbit. Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks.
"Ribbit, 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!  Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas."
They go to "Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"
  The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit.  $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golfgame, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.  He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know  how  to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."  
The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me."
He figures why not, after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss,the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that,your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."