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Bear Buyers Anonymous
BEAR BUYERS ANONYMOUS
1.When leaving home, never admit to anyone, including yourself, that maybe
you just might end up at a bear show.
2.Rearrange all you bears at home
so there is no room to slip another bear in unnoticed.
3.Always wear
clothing with pockets when leaving home in case you should end up at a
bear show so you'll have a place to keep your hands at all times.
4.Never, never, never obey the request of a vender to "feel free to pick
them up and hug them."
5.Never make eye contact with a bear.
6.Try to always take your spouse with you if you cannot resist going to a bear
show. This sometimes works as a last resort, especially if they're cheap.
7.Never subscribe to a bear magazine. They may look innocent, but
they're dynamite.
8.Dieting to save the money to satisfy your habit doesn't work. You end up buying twice as many.
9.Don't dress poorly in hopes that the vendor won't trust your check or credit card. They know
bear people are all honest.
10.Prayer doesn't work. God loves bears too.
11.Promise yourself that you will look at every bear before buying. This
may slow you down a bit.
12.If all the above fails, buy the nearest bear
and "hug it to death."
