A Biblical Perspective on Anger Management:
The Pathway of Long-suffering
By
Mark S. Etelamaki
August 2008
A Biblical Perspective on Anger Management:
The Pathway of Long-suffering
Anger is a human emotion that we all have to deal with on a daily basis, whether it is our own or someone else’s. Unfortunately, anger is often misunderstood and is associated, even confused, with its potential negative aspects of aggression and violence. As a new creation in Jesus Christ, we are to reflect Him in our own use of anger, and in our response to the anger of others. The Bible has plenty to say about the emotion of anger and it describes both how to use anger and respond to it properly. As we shall see, the biblically revealed response to anger is long-suffering, which is synonymous with being slow to anger. We will begin our study by defining anger culturally and biblically.
What is Anger?
Simply defined, anger is a noun (a state of being), and means, “a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.”[1] Generally, anger is described in detail by distinguishing between the varying degrees (or levels) of displeasure; and several synonyms are extant, such as rage, fury, ire, wrath, resentment, and indignation. This English word descends directly from the Old Norse word angr, meaning sorrow.
In the New Testament, the Greek word most commonly translated as anger is orge, (ὀργή).[2] Orge, originally meant, any “natural impulse, desire, or disposition,” and as the strongest of all the passions.[3] Orge must be clearly distinguished from its synonyms such as thumos, (θυμός, meaning wrath),[4] because “thumos indicates a more agitated condition of the feelings, an outburst of wrath from inward indignation; while orge suggests a more settled or abiding condition of mind, frequently with a view to taking revenge.” Further, “Orge is less sudden in its rise than thumos, but more lasting in its nature. Thumos expresses the inward feeling, orge the active emotion.”[5]
In classical times, Aristotle wrote about the passion of anger (orge) in his Nichomachean Ethics. He sees and describes both the positive and negative aspects of the emotion, and discusses the varying degrees of anger. To Aristotle, there are extremes with each of the passions, and men should strive to be near the middle position. For the passion of anger, this middle position, or mean, is called “good temper;” and the man who is angry in the right ways, at the right times, with the right people, and for the right duration, is to be praised; whereas, the man who is not angry when he should be, is to be condemned.[6]
Aristotle is objective and clear in his observations; even though he remarks, “it is not easy to define how, with whom, at what, and how long one should be angry, and at what point right action ceases and wrong begins.”[7] In other words, right or wrong expressions of anger depend upon the particular context or environment (including the cultural norms).
It is important to understand that anger is not a primary emotion, but a secondary one—meaning that there are other emotions that give rise to anger and which feed its intensity. For example, we saw above, in the Old Norse word angr, that its root meaning is sorrow. From this (and from several other examples) we may reasonably infer that anger is an “afflictive emotion,” in that it is often an expression of our pain, suffering, injury or distress.[8] Schiraldi and Kerr, point out in their book, The Anger Management Sourcebook, that anger involves our thoughts, our physiological arousal, and our behaviors. Of these, the last one is said to be culturally influenced, and gives rise to the notion that each culture determines its own set of unwritten rules regarding the proper expression of anger. Following Aristotle’s thoughts about anger, Schiraldi and Kerr notice that anger is characterized by its: 1) frequency (how often you get angry), 2) intensity (the degree or depth of your anger), 3) duration (how long you stay angry), 4) threshold (your tolerance of stress—what it takes before you become angry), 5) expression (how you manifest your anger), and 6) degree of comfort (your personal feelings about anger as good or bad). Schiraldi and Kerr also distinguish anger from the conditions that tend to follow from anger, such as aggression and hostility; though they do well to emphasize that anger, in and of itself, does not have to lead to aggression or hostility, which are choices we make.
It is unfortunate that so many people have negative misconceptions about this natural emotion called anger. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must come to realize that anger is a God-given emotion that we must use for His glory. Our use of anger must always be directed by the operation of the Holy Spirit in our lives;[9] and, when this occurs, our use of anger will be a positive benefit to our own life and to the lives of others. In the Scriptures, we find many instances of God’s anger and wrath, and we learn that Jesus too used anger;[10] but His anger was not sin and He was never negative nor out of control. In God’s wrath, even when it is burning hot like an oven, He remembers mercy,[11] and He uses His anger to accomplish His purposes in our lives. As a new creation in Jesus, we too can remember mercy and express our anger in positive and constructive ways.
The Anger Progression
When God is angry and vents His wrath, He always does so in order to accomplish some great purpose in our lives. In the Scriptures, we find that God is “slow to anger,” and when He becomes angry, it is usually because of our escalating sin against Him.[12] God uses His anger and displays His wrath toward us so that we will consider our own ways and turn from our wicked ways. The outpouring of God’s wrath is a very serious matter, and strong judgment upon the wicked is always a central theme; but for the redeemed of the Lord—His own special people—His wrath is displayed in order to drive us to humility and repentance before Him. While there are many passages in the Scriptures that portray His judgment, one of the most beautiful portraits of God’s anger and wrath (coupled with His great love and mercy, and of the response of His people), is found in the song of Habakkuk 3.
Here in Habakkuk, God’s power and majesty is described together with His judgment upon the nations. In response to His display, all of the people trembled, including His own. In His judgment upon the wicked, His own people are also affected and they are forced to consider their own status before Him and to realize that they too are a fallen people who deserve the same punishment; yet, they still rejoice and put their trust in Him alone. The song is full of beauty and is always a pleasure to read; but let us examine the anger progression:
1) God’s position in Majesty and Power:
Habakkuk 3.3 His glory covered the heavens, and the earth was full of his praise. 4 And his brightness was as the light; he had horns coming out of his hand: and there was the hiding of his power.
2) The action or expression of God’s anger
Habakkuk 3.5 Before him went the pestilence, and burning coals went forth at his feet. 6 He stood, and measured the earth: he beheld, and drove asunder the nations; and the everlasting mountains were scattered, the perpetual hills did bow: his ways are everlasting. [] 12 Thou didst march through the land in indignation, thou didst thresh the heathen in anger.
3) The purpose of God’s anger:
Habakkuk 3.13 Thou wentest forth for the salvation of thy people, even for salvation with thine anointed; thou woundedst the head out of the house of the wicked, by discovering the foundation unto the neck.
4) The response of the redeemed people to God’s anger:
Habakkuk 3.16 When I heard, my belly trembled; my lips quivered at the voice: rottenness entered into my bones, and I trembled in myself, that I might rest in the day of trouble: when he cometh up unto the people, he will invade them with his troops. [] 18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
In this progression, we see at first, that God was content within Himself, and He was full of majesty and power; but when the people sinned against Him, His anger, though at rest or “hidden” is aroused. Next, He expresses His anger in such a way that it highlights that there is a problem to be corrected. Third, we see that while He will “thresh” the ungodly, that His greater purpose is to “save” His own people. Finally, we see that although the redeemed are afraid, yet they trust in Him and receive His “joy.” In these Scriptures, we have a pattern for using our anger to achieve a positive result; and we learn how to respond to the anger expressed by others.
Our own progression of anger should follow this outline:
1) We consider our Position In Christ:
We must be humble and remember that were once foolishly blind and ignorant creatures living in darkness and sin. We were without God and had no way to cure ourselves. Nevertheless, God who is great in mercy loved us and saved us freely by His grace. He cleansed us by the blood of Jesus and He sealed us with His Holy Spirit, renewing our minds with the mind of Christ, and helping us to exhibit His great love and mercy toward others.
2) We express our indignation against the sin, but reach out in compassion to the sinner.
To do this we must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath.[13] We must fully consider the angry person and understand the reasons for their anger. We should empathize, see their perspective toward the wrong carried out against them, and understand their grievance. Our wrath, indignation, or anger does not produce the righteousness of God, but God’s wrath does.
3) Our purpose is to lead a troubled soul to the Savior that they might be saved.
We ourselves know that we cannot correct anyone; rather it is the Holy Spirit who is responsible for convicting someone of sin.[14] Our role is to have compassion and gently lead them to Jesus, even when that means our own suffering.[15]
4) The response of Christ to our actions takes us into His joy.
“Well done good and faithful servant [] enter into the joy of your Lord.”[16]
Ruling Over Anger: Spirit-Directed Restraint
From the very beginning of history, humanity has experienced this emotion of anger. Not surprisingly, God’s counsel to Cain holds just as true today as it did then. In Genesis 4, we find the first recorded instance of anger. Cain had a problem in his life and his sin was revealed. He responded to the disclosure of his own failure with anger and much sorrow. Cain’s anger, however, gave place for greater destructiveness to grow within him, prompting God to counsel Cain to “rule over” (מָשַׁל, Hebrew: mashal)[17] or to “have dominion over” his sin. Cain, however, never learned to rule over his sin; rather, he nursed his anger and allowed it to grow into murder.[18]
As we indicated earlier, anger is a natural, God-given emotion that alerts us to the fact that there is a wrong within us that needs to be corrected. In order to achieve the desired outcome, we must find a positive and constructive way to express our anger. In Habakkuk, God makes a very great display of His anger and He takes strong action against the wrong.
In the passage, we see that God uses His voice, and it instills fear in the hearer: Habakkuk 3.2 “O LORD, I have heard thy speech, and was afraid.”The tone and volume of our voice can be very effective in getting people’s attention and alerting them to the problem.[19] The words we say are also very important, and they must be factual, respectful, and spoken with authority. When we express our grievance against a wrong, we must command respect from our hearers and our words must be credible. Hastily raising our voice and saying words to merely vent our frustration is never enough, and can often be counterproductive. Therefore, we must always be under Spirit-directed restraint and have a message and a purpose behind any words of anger we may use. Being Spirit-restrained means that we are filled with the Spirit of God and in total submission to Him, for “restraint”[20] is one of the fruits of the Spirit often translated as “long-suffering”, and means that we, like God, are “slow to anger.” Restraint means that rather than allowing anger to rule over us and carry us into a rash and destructive action; we are to exercise power or control over anger by exhibiting “long-suffering” in order to achieve a positive and constructive outcome.
Within this context, we should look at the words of Jesus in Luke 12.49. In this portion of the Scriptures, Jesus has just told the parable of the faithful and unfaithful servants (Luke 12.35-49), which culminates in the judgment of God. He then declares, “I came to send fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! But I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how distressed I am till it is accomplished.” (Luke 12.49-50, NKJV). Here and in the following Scriptures, we learn that because of Jesus, strife and even anger would be aroused between believers and unbelievers; and that He Himself would prefer to see this fire kindled already. However, He then explains that His crucifixion must take place first. In other words, He must become a victim upon His alter (be sacrificed) for the good to be revealed in His own people. This is a statement about His “long-suffering” (makrothumia) toward us, not being willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance (2Peter 3.9).
When we put-off our anger for today, we, in our natural minds, tend to see this as slackness, as allowing the perpetrator to get-off without paying any penalty; but God is not like this; rather, He is “long-suffering” (makrothumia) and patient with us for His eternal and constructive purpose—our salvation in Him. While not all humanity will be saved, each soul will have every opportunity to be saved. On that great day of God’s wrath, time shall cease, and His wrath will be poured out upon an openly and thoroughly rebellious world. There will be great judgment and a penalty for sin, but for the redeemed of the Lord, they shall be entirely under His great love and mercy on that day, hidden and protected from His wrath.
Why Must I “Suffer-Long” When I am Already a Victim of Anger?
The question posed above, as the title of this section, is a common one. It is certainly true that not many people will choose to suffer; rather, most people will understandably choose to avoid suffering at any cost. My central point here is that as a new creation in Christ Jesus, we are not to have the thoughts of natural men and women who do not know God. As Christians, we are called to be renewed in our minds and to have the mind of Christ.[21] To have the mind of Christ suggests that we share in His sufferings and that we too become men and women of sorrow, who are acquainted with grief.[22] We are to reflect Him in this world, especially so, when we are in the midst of problems and experiencing anger, whether our own or someone else’s.
Understanding the nature of the spiritual fruit called “long-suffering” will aid us in ruling over our own expressions of anger and in responding to the anger of others. Long-suffering is like a pressure release valve and it undoes what the tension of anger builds-up within us. If we hold our anger inside of ourselves and do not let it out through constructive expression; then, our life will be like a pressure cooker that does not let out any steam. If we remain on the heat, our anger will boil within and our life, like the pressure cooker, will become very unstable, ready to blow at any moment. While the hot steam within may be accomplishing some good purpose (such as purification), we are in danger of losing everything we have been working for. If our lid is not on tight, or if our vessel is weak at some point, the potential for great damage exists and grows stronger each moment. However, if we use the pressure relief valves, then the steam will be allowed to build-up within us to accomplish its great purpose, yet, some of it will be released in a controlled and systematic way, thereby reducing the risk of damage from a blowout. Long-suffering accomplishes this in our lives. Some scholars have even gone so far as to say that long-suffering is the opposite of anger.[23] I tend to agree with this notion, for I see long-suffering as undoing what anger does and it keeps us near the middle ground, or mean, discussed by Aristotle. As anger builds-up tension in our lives, long-suffering reduces it and enables us to understand and respond to the source of the original problem with greater effectiveness.
The source of our strength as we are long-suffering is not from our own resources, but from God Our Father, and it is here in this status of patient endurance that we experience and begin to express His true and unconditional love. Paul tells us plainly, “Love suffers long and is kind.”[24] I think it is a true statement, that in the times of the greatest tragedy and grief in our lives, we have the opportunity to experience the greatest unconditional love.
The Conclusion of the Matter
In the self-help books about anger (and even in this paper), we find all kinds of steps, tips, and guidelines to follow when we become angry or when we experience anger from someone else. Truly it is important to learn about the emotion of anger, to understand the basic human needs and how being deprived of those necessities contribute to anger in men and women every day. These books are helpful and they provide common sense information to us about anger, but in fact, there is only one step to take to rule over our anger, and that is to humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord. When we are still and humble before Him, His presence will rest upon us and in us, and will enable us to rule over every aspect of the anger that would trouble us.
As Christians, we should always lead the way for others to follow after, by keeping each of our relationship accounts free from snares and full of forgiveness. I mention forgiveness because we are commanded in the Scriptures to be quick to forgive wrongs committed against us. This command is directly linked to the concept of anger management and Christian long-suffering. While we experience anger for lots of reasons, one of the invidious forms of anger arises from the midst of our relationships. A failure to forgive a wrong, especially when the guilty party has accepted responsibility, apologized, sought to make restitution, and has expressed the desire for restoration, is a very serious source of anger and often expresses itself in forms of extreme rage. This type of deep-seated anger within relationships usually infects many other relationships as well; and, over time, it contributes to significant spiritual, psychological and physiological problems. Let us always choose to humble ourselves before the Lord, and allow ourselves to experience His great Love for us, so that we may express it to the others in our lives, especially toward those who have spitefully used us.
I am reminded of the sufferings of young David when he was fleeing from Saul. David had good reason to be angry with Saul, for David had done nothing wrong; yet David would not lift his voice or his hand against the King.[25] David’s long-suffering was also exhibited when Shemei was reviling him. The King’s bodyguards were quick in their desire to seek revenge and kill Shemei for cursing and casting stones at King David, but David was humble and recognized that he himself contributed to Shemei’s grief and anger. David understood that Shemei had a reasonable grievance against him, and so, when Shemei reviled him, he did not revile in return.[26] When we are submissive to God and quick to hear the still small voice of the Holy Spirit in our lives, managing anger will not be very difficult for us; for long-suffering will be our normal inclination and response toward all of the sorrow, grief and anger that life in this world will bring to us. Upon His cross, Jesus despised the shame hurled upon Him by the people[27], and all day long, He stretched out His hands to the rebellious people who provoked Him to anger continually before His face.[28] Nevertheless, being reviled, He reviled not in return;[29] rather, He cried out, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”[30] His long-suffering is our pathway, so let us do the same and follow Him.[31]
Soli Deo Gloria!
Scripture References
Old Testament
Genesis 4.1-15
Exodus 34.6
1Samuel 19.1, 10; 24.4-22; 26.8-25
2Samuel 16.5-14
Nehemiah 9.15
Psalms 103.8
Isaiah 30.30-31; 53.3; 65.2-3
Nahum 1.3
Jonah 4.2
Habakkuk 3.1-19
New Testament
Matthew 25.21, 23; 27.38-44
Mark 3.5
Luke 12.35-50; 23.34, 43
John 16.8
Romans 2.4; 12.1-2
1Corinthians 2.16; 13.4
Galatians 5.22-23
Ephesians 4.17-24
Hebrews 12.2
James 1.19-27
1Peter 2.19-24; 3.9
2Peter 3.9, 20
Resource Materials and Bibliography of Works Cited
Aristotle. The Basic Works of Aristotle, Richard McKeon, Ed., Random House, New York, NY,
1941.
Baruch, Rhoda. Edith H. Grotberg and Suzanne Stutman. Creative Anger, Putting that Powerful
Emotion to Good Use, Praeger, Westport, CT, 2008.
CBN. Overcoming Anger: Keys to Powerful Living, The Christian Broadcasting Network, Inc.,
Virginia Beach, VA., 2001.
Cox, Deborah. Karin H. Bruckner and Sally Stabb. The Anger Advantage, The Surprising
Benefits of Anger and How It Can Change a Woman’s Life, Broadway Books, Random
House, New York, NY, 2003.
Favaro, Peter. Anger Management, Six Critical Steps to a Calmer Life, New Page Books, The
Career Press, Inc., Franklin Lakes, NJ, 2006.
Fisher, Craig R. Verda L. Thompson, Roger K. Price. Anger’s Slippery Slope, Study Guide, 1st
Printing, Midwest Seminary of Bible Theology, American Mission Teams, Inc., Sikeston,
MO., October 2005.
Friberg, Timothy and Barbara. The Analytical Greek New Testament, (AGNT), Baker Books,
Grand Rapids, MI, 2001.
Friberg, Timothy and Barbara. Neva F. Miller. Analytical Lexicon of the Greek New Testament,
(ANLEX), Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI, 2000.
Gelinas, Paul J. Coping with Anger, The Rosen Publishing Group, New York, NY, 1988.
Holy Bible, Spirit-filled Life Bible, (NKJV), Jack Hayford, Gen. Ed., Thomas Nelson Publishers,
Nashville, TN., 1996.
Lee, John. Bill Scott. Facing the Fire, Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately,
Bantam Books, New York, NY, 1993.
Lerner, Harriet Goldhor. The Dance of Anger, A Woman’s Guide to Changing Patterns of
Intimate Relationships, Harper & Row Publishers, New York, NY, 1985.
Nhat Hanh, Thich. Anger, Wisdom for Cooling the Flames, Riverhead Books, Penguin Putnam,
New York, NY, 2001.
Schiraldi, Glenn R. Melissa Hallmark Kerr. The Anger Management Sourcebook, Mcgraw-Hill,
New York, NY, 2002.
Strong, James. Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Baker Books, Nashville, TN,
1978.
Thayer, Robert E. The Origin of Everyday Moods, Managing Energy, Tension, and Stress,
Oxford University Press, New York, NY, 1996.
The American Heritage College Dictionary, 4th Edition, Houghton-Mifflin, New York, NY,
2002.
Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W. Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New
Testament Words, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, TN, 1996.
[1] The American Heritage College Dictionary, entry: “anger,” p. 54.
[2] Strong’s Concordance, Greek word entry 3709.
[3] Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W. Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, Vol. 2, p. 26.
[4] Strong, James. Strong’s Concordance, Greek word entry 2372.
[5] Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W. Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, Vol. 2, p. 26.
[6] Aristotle. Nichomachean Ethics, Book 4, chapter 5, The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp.995-96.
[7] Aristotle. Nichomachean Ethics, Book 4, chapter 5, The Basic Works of Aristotle, pp. 995-96.
[8] Schiraldi. The Anger Management Sourcebook, p. 4.
[9] Holy Bible, Galatians 5.22-23.
[10] Holy Bible, Mark 3.5. Here in this text we see that Jesus possessed anger, which is orge (ὀργή) and we also see that grief was His first emotion, which gave rise to His secondary emotion called anger.
[11] See Habakkuk 3.2, this is a prayer made by the prophet, but it expresses a truth, that in His wrath God remembers His own mercy.
[12] See Nehemiah 9.15, Psalm 103.8, Nahum 1.3, Jonah 4.2.
[13]James 1.19-27.
[14] John 16.8.
[15] 1Peter 2.19-24.
[16] Matthew 25.21,23.
[17] Strong’s Concordance, Hebrew entry 4910, mashal, מָשַׁל.
[18] Genesis 4.1-15. Rather than humble himself before the Lord, Cain chose to disregard God’s counsel, to complain, and to depart from the presence of the Lord.
[19] Interestingly, the secular authors also note the importance of an ostentatious display of anger. While there is true anger, the person remains entirely in control, and uses the display of emotion to cause the people to take heed. See Baruch, Creative Anger, Putting that Powerful Emotion to Good Use, pp. 67-68. See also, God’s own words regarding His voice, Isaiah 30.30-31.
[20] The Greek word rendered here at Galatians 5.22-23, in the KJV, is “long-suffering,” but the Greek word is more descriptive—“makrothumia,” (μακροθυμία—constrained in our actions toward others, possessing forbearance and having patience, having an element of delay or postponement, to be slow in avenging wrongs). See Friberg, AGNT, Galatians 5.22-23, 2Peter 3.9, and Friberg, ANLEX, makrothumia, makrothumeo). This word makrothumia is often rendered as “long-suffering,” and it is the appropriate fruit of the Spirit response for anger. While the English word “self-control” also appears in Galatians 5.22-23 and is highly descriptive for us, the Greek word there is egkrateia (egkrateia), which is control or discipline over one’s desires, especially sexual desire.
[21] Romans 12.1-2; Ephesians 4.17-24; 1Corinthians 2.16
[22] Isaiah 53.3, cf. 1Peter 2.19-25
[23] Vine, W. E., Unger, M. F., & White, W. Vine's Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, “Longsuffering is that quality of self restraint in the face of provocation which does not hastily retaliate or promptly punish; it is the opposite of anger, and is associated with mercy, and is used of God, Ex. 34:6 (Sept.); Rom. 2:4; 1 Pet. 3:20.”
[24] 1Corinthians 13.4: “Love suffers long,” In Greek: “He agape makrothumei,” (H agaph makroqumei.)
[25]This episode in David’s life begins in 1Samuel 19.1,10, when Saul conspired to kill him, and goes on to the time when David spares Saul’s life twice, 1 Samuel 24.4-22; 26.8-25.
[26]See 2Samuel 16.5-14, see also cf. 1Peter 2.23, 3.9. Compare David’s actions to those of Jesus, Luke 23.34, 43.
[27] Hebrews 12.2; Matthew 27.38-44
[28] Isaiah 65.2-3
[29] 1Peter 2.23
[30] Luke 23.34
[31] 1Peter 2.19-25