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Father Mike's Homily at Tom's Funeral Mass on Sunday September 8, 2002:

 

I join all of you in sincerely offering our deepest sympathy to Tom's beloved wife, Nancy; his children Peter and Daniel; his mom and dad, Rose and Jack; his dear sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews.  As your relatives and friends, we have come here this afternoon because we sincerely care about you.  We share your grief.  You hurt so deeply and because we are your sisters and brothers in Christ, we also hurt.  May belief in the resurrection be a source of comfort for you at this very difficult time of physical separation from a man  you loved very much.

Nancy, all of us gathered here this afternoon are concerned about you.  The days ahead are going to be long days of tremendous adjustment for you.  Sometimes the pain will seem almost unbearable.  We care--sincerely, care very deeply about you.  If there is anything anyone of us can do for you, please ask us.

Dear Peter and Daniel, with your dad's death you experience a vacuum, a feeling of emptiness, a feeling that calls for silence rather than words.  Please add the dimension of loving faith in God to your human feelings.  God will be faithful to you--he prepares a place for your dad in heaven.  God's powerful love is what gives assurance that all is well.  The time will come when your dad and all of us will be in the same home together.  We will be reunited and see and love each other in a more profound way.

Dear Jack and Rose, the days ahead will be days of dreadful sadness.  Life just doesn't seem fair when a child dies before a parent.  Only by listening, sometimes almost in desperation, will you hear God speaking.  Not explaining, not defending, not justifying.  Only asking, "Do you love me?  Then trust me.  I do care."

We ask why Tom died.  And the only answer is the absurdity of another young man, whose broken body was taken from the cross, laid in his mother's arms and carried to a tomb.  His family and best friends did not know why either.  They thought it was the end. But now 2,000 years later we are united here this afternoon in the name of that person, Jesus, upon whose broken body we build our hope in the resurrection and find strength to love and believe in eternal life.

This afternoon we stand in the darkness of Tom's death.  The darkness is all the more oppressive because his death came upon us so suddenly.  His death is like a blackout in our lives.  Just last weekend, Tom and his dad were working side-by-side at the farm.  On Sunday, Tom quietly slipped into the house, listened to his mom play the accordion and when she finished he surprised her with an applause.  Tuesday night on the 10:00 news, Nancy and Gary heard the report that a man had been killed in an airplane accident and they feared it it was their husband and brother.  A few minutes later, the 911 dispatcher confirmed that it was indeed Tom.  Without any warning, we are plunged into a dense darkness.  In the space of a  very short time the Rebholz Family's world it turned upside down.

My sisters and brothers in Christ, nothing can prepare us for something like Tom's death.  Nothing can save us from the devastating effects of such a blow.  there is only one thing we can do.  Just as when a black out occurs we rush for a light, even that of a simple candle.  So now we rush to the only light that can penetrate this awful darkness, namely, the light of Christ.

All of us here this afternoon are a part of Tom's funeral procession.  We feel the loss, the terrible emptiness left by his absence.  This afternoon we come with Christian joy to honor one who truly tried to live like Jesus.  The wonderful values of love, concern and generosity laid the foundation upon which Tom sought to live his life.

He used his 47 years to bring many different dimensions of life and joy to the world. He was unquestionably dedicated to his wife and boys, parents and siblings.  He was a loving husband and father. He was a considerate and generous son.  As the oldest child, he was a model and guide for his brothers and sisters.  He was a friend to all.

We pause for a moment on our own journey of life to celebrate and remember husband and dad, son and brother, nephew and uncle, fellow worker and friend to all.  We pause to give thanks to God for having been able to walk the road of life with Tom.  Today we come together with our won memories of that life shared.  We come with our own stories of encounters with Tom.

Last Wednesday afternoon as I sat with the Rebholz family, I listened to their wonderful, loving, memories of encounters with a special man.  There were tales of fun times with Nancy and the boys on ski trips, at the Blue Lake cottage and on extended family vacations.  There were memories of his making and flying paper airplanes when he was just 4 years old and of Tom's passion for flying all his adult life.  There were remembrances of his serving Mass as a boy and ushering as a young man here at St. Bernard's.  There were stories showing his deep love and devotion for his parents.  They talked about how Tom was a free spirit, about how he loved to try new things and about how he could accomplish almost anything.  Tom was the living example of imitating Jesus in his love and care for his family and friends.

Truly Tom is with God.  As he identified with the God of life and love in this world so he is identified with the God of eternal life and love in heaven.

Dear family, good friends, for the way that Tom lived, he is alive with God.  By the way that we live, let us keep Tom alive in ourselves.

Last Tuesday night, Tom made his final flight, soared high above the clouds and landed safely in the arms of his heavenly Father...the God who lovingly said, "Welcome, Tom!  Welcome to your eternal home!."

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