A Bit of Holy Humor
A priest was walking along the school corridor near the preschool wing when a group a little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?" He told him that he was a priest and that this is the uniform priests wear.
Then he pointed to the priest's little plastic collar insert and asked, "Does it hurt? Do you have a Boo-boo?" The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar insert looked like a bandaid.
So the priest took it out to show him. On the back of the collar are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?"
"Yes I do," said the lad who was not old enough to read. Peering intently at the letters he said, "It says, 'Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!'"
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
The Zen Master
The Zen Master is visiting New York from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog cart and says," Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
And the vendor responds, ... "Change must come from within."
