The Song Remembers When
Chapter Fourteen
RATING: PG
COUPLING: Buffy/Riley
SUMMARY: A/U - Riley has left Buffy, and this is 10 years into the
future.
DISCLAIMER: All BtVS characters belong to the wonderfully talented
mind of Joss Whedon. However I do own Riley's daughters and Sam the
nanny.
FEEDBACK: Pretty pretty please! I really hate to beg, but will .
SPOILERS: All of Season 5, and my own little universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ladies and Gentlemen I would love you to give a warm
round of applause to my wonderful Beta Reader Anne Marie who makes
each one of these stories better. To Amy, Nicole and Ace thank you
so much for your kind words, and wonderful own talent that makes me
want to write. And to Andra thank you so much with all your wonderful
help writing this. Chris I called the therapists and it seems Buffy
will be joining our little group therapy sessions.
Except for the one light over the guest readers' head, only the
fireplace and the Christmas tree lighted the den. The glow seemed to
soothe everyone's damaged psyches as they listened to Willow read
from the Harry Potter book and as Buffy glanced around the room, she
noticed that the kids were not the only ones that hung on her every
word. Looking over at Graham, Buffy saw a man totally and undeniable
in love and other than the odd word Hope would whisper to him from
her place on his lap, his full attention was on Willow. Riley leaned
over a sleeping Tristan's legs and whispered to Buffy,
"I never knew that Graham was such a Harry Potter fan."
"I don't think the book is what has his attention. I think it's the
red head reading it," Buffy whispered back a smirk on her lips.
"In all the years we've been friends, I've never seen him like this,"
Riley said, indicating Graham with a nod of his head.
"I know what you mean. I caught Willow with that look on her face
earlier in the kitchen. You should have felt the sexual tension in
the room."
"Really?" Riley said, squeezing her hand. The two had been holding
hands since they sat down together on the couch but they carefully
hid it by placing a pillow over top of their hands. Hope was smart,
but right now she was caught up in the story and they hoped she'd
over look the pillow lying on the couch between them.
" Oh yeah. Why didn't they both realise it years ago? Even when she
was dating Tara you could see it. Do you know how upset she was when
he left?" Buffy asked Riley, not really expecting an answer.
"Well the night after you left, he came by to see me. Willow was
there and I know they talked but she would never tell what was said.
She was in tears. Do you have any idea what they talked about?"
Buffy questioned, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. Even
just holding hands with him was wonderful. She'd dreamed of moments
like this.
"No. But I knew something had happened because he was really quiet
when he got back. Even more so than usual. I just thought it had
something to do with you and me, and that he was mad at me. He
didn't tell me Willow was there," Riley whispered, looking over at
Graham who was whispering something to Hope.
"Graham strikes me as the type of person who plays his cards close to
his chest," Buffy said, eyeing Riley even as he watched Graham.
"He usually is. The only person he'll talk to is me. He used to
talk to Claire and they were quiet close. Claire loved him to death;
it was a brother/sister thing. Did you know it was Graham who'd
introduced us?" Riley said, turning to catch Buffy watching him.
His eyes locked with hers and he squeezed her hand again. The hand
squeezing would have to satisfy both of them for now.
"Where did you and Claire meet? I want to know everything I've missed
from your life for the last 10 years," Buffy told him and by the look
in her eyes, Riley could believe her.
"We met in Virginia. She was with the Initiative. Claire was a
doctor assigned to work with the agents."
"She knew then, about what went bump in the night?"
"Oh yeah. Long before I ever showed up. That was good though,
because as you know, I was a bit of a mess when I first showed up in
Virginia. I still have a couple of scars from those days. They are a
constant reminder of my trip to the dark side of Sunnydale," Riley
mused quietly on his past actions and Buffy saw a pained look slide
cross his face and she wanted to make it go away just like she wanted
to protect him from those memories.
"Don't worry, I don't spend a lot of time there these days," he
replied almost as if was reading her mind.
"I'm so glad to hear that. When I found out about the 'drive thru
window' you had been operating I was so… I don't know."
"Lets not talk about this now. Not while the kids are still up,
okay."
Anyone who didn't know Riley would think he was fine, but Buffy knew
differently and she could tell that his own dark period had left more
than physical scars. Buffy bet that his mental scars could match her
own.
Looking around the room her eyes fell on two matching blonde heads
curled up on the floor. She smiled seeing Evan's hand holding his
younger sister's. Since Jordan had taken Evan's hand in the hallway
earlier that afternoon a special bond had developed between them.
The two seemed to communicate without words; it was kind of spooky to
watch. Willow had joked that maybe they were twins separated by the
Powers That Be, but Buffy was starting to think that there might be
some truth to Willow's statement. Nudging Riley with her foot she
pointed to the kids with her toes.
"Is Jordan asleep?" He whispered, as Buffy craned her neck to get a
look at her face.
"Think so," she whispered back.
"I think last night's sleepover was a little short on the sleep
side," he smirked.
"Do guys have sleepovers?"
"Yeah be we called them crashing at a friend's place."
"Oh," she said, watching her son in the fireplace's glow.
"He looks so much like you. Do you have any pictures of yourself at
his age?"
"I'm not sure, but we can call my parents and ask them to bring them
out for Christmas. I'll send you some," Riley paled a little as a
new realisation hit him.
"Oh God, I guess I'll have to tell my parents."
The thought of having to tell them about his son left him feeling a
little anxious.
"We can call them tomorrow if you'd like," Buffy said, trying to calm
his anxiety.
"They could even speak to Evan. He's been really excited thinking
that he's got a whole family he hasn't even met yet. How are your
brothers?"
"Fine. Kevin and his wife Chris have 2 boys who are hellions, just
like him and just as tall. Marc's still the swinging single guy.
He works for us in Toronto."
"Marc's what 26 or so? He would be a perfect age for Dawn," Buffy
joked, thinking about her terminally single little sister.
"Yeah right. My brother and your sister, as if that wouldn't be a
match made in hell," he laughed.
"Riley," Willow called quietly across the room to the couple.
"Yeah, Will?"
"Should I stop? Seems only Evan and Hope are awake."
"I think you're right. Hope, it's time for bed. Kiss Uncle Graham
good night and say good night to Willow and Buffy."
Hope hugged and kissed Graham goodnight and then she did something
that surprised Riley. She gave both Willow and Buffy a kiss on the
cheek and said good night.
"Was that my child? 'Miss I Don't Kiss Strangers, Daddy?" Riley
laughed, staring at the child's retreating back.
"Looked like her," Graham said, getting up to pick the sleeping child
up off the floor.
"Want me to carry Jordy up stairs?"
"Thanks Graham. Here Buffy, I'll take Tristan," Riley said, leaning
in to take the child from her.
"No, I'll take her. It's been a long time since I tucked in anyone
this little. You stay here, Dad," she said smiling as she struggled
to get up off of the couch with her tiny burden.
"Here let me…" Riley began to offer, but stopped when he saw
Buffy glare at him.
"Okay, okay! She's all yours."
"Evan, I think you should be heading to bed too, mister. Say good
night to Willow and your Dad," Buffy called to her son.
"Good night Aunt Willow. I love when you read to me; you're much
more fun than Mom is," he said.
"Sorry, Mom," he told her when he noticed his mother's mock glare.
Evan shrugged his little shoulders,
"Aunt Willow does the voices…"
"See you in the morning, tiger," Wiilow said, hugging him closely to
her side.
Each time she hugged him, Willow noticed that he seemed a little
skinnier, a little more fragile and she filed the hug away in her
heart for later. Losing Evan would be like losing her own child.
Evan walked across the room and stood in front of his father. What
was he supposed to do? Kiss him good night, shake his hand? Evan
was confused and was happy when Riley answered his question for him
by pulling him into a huge hug and giving him a quick kiss.
<Are you suppose to kiss your 9 year old son? > Riley wondered.
< I don't care. I have years to make up for. >
"Good night Evan. Sweet dreams," Riley told his son.
"And Graham? Could you also show Buffy and Willow where their rooms
are while you're up there?"
"Sure thing, boss man, and I'll tuck Hope in too" Graham called over
his shoulder as he led the group out of the room.
"Ah! Now that's nice," Riley said, stretching out on the couch when
they'd all finally left the room. Within seconds he was asleep, the
events of the past few days finally catching up with him.
_________________________________________________________
Buffy came back down stairs half an hour later, having changed into
her robe and satin p.j.'s. She knew that Graham was taking a shower,
and Willow was placing a call to her agent in California, which meant
she'd have some time by herself with Riley.
Buffy walked back into the den and stopped in the doorway when she
realised that Riley was asleep on the couch. She used to love
watching him sleep. He always looked so young and innocent, not
unlike his own children did. She walked over to the couch and sat on
the floor by his side. He looked so tired that she didn't want to
wake him but leaving him to sleep on the couch was crazy.
"You had a horrible day, didn't you? I didn't want any of this to
happened, believe me. I love you baby," Buffy whispered, pushing the
hair off his forehead and kissing it gently.
"I promise you everyday will not be like this. I promise you Riley,
this will work." She gazed down at him and knew with every beat of
her heart that she would not let him walk away from him again.
"I love you, Riley Finn."
"Love you too," he mumbled, pulling her down on top of him.
"Sleep now," he mumbled again, snuggling against her till he was
comfortable.
Buffy stifled her giggles and stroked his handsome face.
"Riley, sweetheart, you need to go to bed. Come on, up to bed,"
Buffy said, trying to pull out of his embrace.
"Happy here," he sighed, pulling her back against him.
"No. I'm not letting you sleep here on this couch. It's too short
for you, and your back will be screaming in the morning. Come on
I'll tuck you in up stairs."
"No. Happy here, with you."
Buffy looked into his sleepy face and she could tell that he meant
it. She sighed and let him have his way for the time being.
With one quick roll they were lying on their sides with Buffy pressed
against him, her head on his shoulder. Riley nuzzled his face in her
hair taking in the rich scent of her shampoo. He had figured with
her success that the floral shampoo she'd used in college would have
disappeared to be replaced by salon products but it smelled exactly
as he remembered it. His fingers tangled in her silky hair, loving
the way it felt against them.
"Riley, you really need to go to bed. You're exhausted."
Buffy tried once more, her voice muffled by his chest.
"Only if you'll come with me," Riley quipped, as he kissed her
forehead.
"You're awake?
"See what you do to me? I'm wide awake now."
"Really?" She said dangerously, as her little fingers found their way
to the top buttons of his jean shirt.
"Wanna pick up from where we left off earlier?" She asked, as she
slid up his body so they were nose to nose.
"Only if you promise that no one will interrupt us this time.
Believe me when I tell you that it's not easy running after a crying
child with a hard on."
"Why Mr. Finn! Such crude words coming from such a beautiful mouth,"
Buffy exclaimed as she shifted to kiss him.
"You didn't promise me," Riley reminded her, catching her bottom lip
in his teeth.
"I promise. The kids are all asleep. Willow's on the phone with
Roger, her agent, and Graham was going to have a shower. I'd say we
have at least a half hour."
"Really," he replied, mimicking her earlier playful tone and untying
the sash of her satin robe.
"Yup," she gasped as his tongue traced its way down her neck to the
top button of her pyjama top.
"So you promise me then?" He said, as his nimble fingers undid the
buttons and his tongue trailed its way down the freshly exposed skin
causing goosebumps.
"Absolutely."
Buffy shivered as his mouth found her right nipple. He circled it
with his tongue before taking it between his teeth.
"I'm so glad," he murmured before taking it fully into his mouth.
"BUFFY!!" Willow's excited voice could be heard in the distance.
"Shit!" Buffy cried as she quickly started to button her pyjama top
up again.
"Remind me to never believe you again, especially when you promise me
something," Riley groaned, dropping his head back into the pillows of
the couch.
"Buffy!" Willow bounced into the den with Graham hot on her heels.
"What!" She snapped in frustration.
"Uh-oh! Did we interrupt something?" Graham snickered from behind
Willow
"You know you did, Miller! Next time I'm locking you all outside so
Buffy and I can have some alone time," Riley growled sitting up next
to Buffy and pulling her into his arms.
"I got the part!" Willow burst out excitedly.
"You got the part!" Buffy cried jumping off the couch and engulfing
Willow in a huge bear hug. The women jumped around in circles as the
men watched them, totally left out of the loop on the private
celebration going on.
"I got it! Roger just told me. Ridley Scott wants me for the role!
Can you believe it? My dream role!" She screamed throwing her head
back and laughing.
"What role?" Riley asked, reminding the girls that there were other
people in the room with them.
"Only the most desired role of every actress in Hollywood! And I got
it!" Willow crowed triumphantly, running and jumped into Riley's
arms totally catching him off guard.
"I repeat. What part did you get!" Riley asked again, laughing at
Willow's exuberance.
"A remake of Casablanca! I won the Ingrid Bergman role of Ilsa Lund!
It's my all time favourite movie. I know it off by heart!"
"Didn't she win an Oscar for that?" Buffy asked.
"No, she won Oscars for 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' and 'Gaslight'.
It's a shame she never won the Oscar for Casablanca." Graham replied
carelessly, smiling as he watched Willow jump up and down in front of
him. Watching her now, in all her child-like glee, reminded him of
the girl he knew in college, not the cool sophisticated actress she
showed to the world.
<She must be an amazing actress. >
All eyes turned to Graham as he finished his commentary on Ingrid
Bergman's career.
"I'm a huge Casablanca fan, and I love Ingrid Bergman, so shoot me,"
he mumbled as they all broke out laughing.
"I beat out Charlize Theron and Cate Blanchett. Can you believe it?
Oh my Goddess! I have to call Xander and Angel."
"I think this calls for champagne. Stay here while I go get it,"
Riley said, leaving the room and heading off in the direction of the
games room.
"Who's playing Bogart's part?" Graham asked, placing his arms around
Willow's waist from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder.
Buffy watched Willow stiffen and she knew instantly who had won
Bogart's part. All along she knew who the front runner had been and
she wondered if Willow could work with him and not jeopardise her new
relationship with Graham. After all, he'd only moved out of the
beach house that they'd shared 6 months ago. Buffy prayed that he
hadn't gotten the part after all and her intuition was wrong.
Willow looked over at Buffy and from the look on her face she had an
idea of what her best friend was thinking. Willow gazed up at Graham
and saw a look of expectation on his face.
<I hope you don't read the tabloids, Graham. >
Willow slid out of Graham's arms and crossed to the fireplace,
feeling that she needed to put some space between them before she
answered his question. Willow felt like she was betraying someone,
but she didn't know whom. Was it the man who stood facing her now,
who had always owned her heart, or the man she'd just broken up with?
Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke,
"Russell Crowe."
"Wow, he'd be great in that role," Graham exclaimed, totally obvious
to the looks passing back and forth between the two women.
"Can you two work together?" Buffy asked concerned for her best
friend's well being and forgetting that Graham was in the room with
them.
"Yeah. We talked and we set some serious ground rules just in case I
got the part. We know it's not going to be easy for either of us,
but we both want to do the movie," Willow said quietly.
"Willow, this isn't just some guy! You lived together for two years!
You almost married the guy, and now you're telling me that you know
it won't be easy! Try it'll be harder than hell! The two of you
couldn't keep your hands off each other the last time you worked
together!" Buffy snapped, angry with Willow for taking the situation
so lightly.
"That was different! We had broken up and playing lovers sparked
feelings that were better left unsparked," Willow retorted, trying to
defend herself. She sighed, hoping Buffy would drop the subject.
"It was a long time ago, Buffy."
"Oh yeah, in the grand scheme of things, 6 months is a life time!"
Buffy replied sarcastically.
"Sometime it is," Graham interjected, wanting to remind the women
that he was in the room with them.
Willow's head snapped around at the sound of his voice and she saw
the impassive mask that Graham wore to cover his feelings. Suddenly
it occurred to her just who she'd betrayed. He was standing across
the room from her.
"Graham, that was a long time ago. We are very much over," she said,
crossing the room to stand in front of him.
"Like you and Buffy said, it was a life time ago."
Willow smiled reaching for his hand but faltered as she saw a flash
of pain in his blue eyes just before they turned back to the intense
blue she was used to.
"Here's the champagne!" Riley said with a flourish as he walked into
the room.
His enthusiasm waned a little as he noticed the tension that filled
the room. What had he missed that had caused the celebratory mood to
disappear in the short time he had been gone? Looking at Buffy for
some sort of hint, she smiled sadly at him and shook her head
slightly.
"I suggest we drink this wonderful year and dance the rest of the
night away," Buffy said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Sounds like a wonderful idea," Willow replied, reaching for Graham's
hand and following Buffy's lead. She could feel Graham closing
himself off to her as she held his ridged hand in hers.
Riley poured the champagne into the flutes and passed them around.
He tried to catch Graham's eye, but he was busy staring at a spot on
the wall above the fireplace. Noticing the muscle in his jaw
flexing, Riley knew Graham was upset.
<What had happened? >
"Here's to another Oscar for the greatest actress I personally know,"
Riley announced, raising his glass in a toast to Willow. During the
clinking of glasses and sips that followed, Buffy had managed to find
a couple of cd's to throw into the cd player.
"May I have this dance?" Riley said bowing in front of Buffy
eliciting a giggle from her.
"Yes you may, kind sir," she said, placing her hand in his
outstretched one. The two started dancing to the music, swaying to
the beat and forgetting that Willow and Graham were standing behind
them.
Graham looked sideways at Willow, hoping he'd been able to hide the
pain he was currently in. Why would someone like Willow want him?
God, she'd just broken up with Russell Crowe! How could he compare?
Riley should have told him she was coming. He would have stayed in
Columbia! Now the heart that had taken years to heal was on the
verge of shattering all over again.
"Would you like to dance?" She asked tentatively, hoping he wouldn't
reject her. She knew he wouldn't simply because he had always been
an officer and a gentlemen and his sense of duty was still deeply
ingrained in him, as were his manners.
"Sure," he said, taking her in his arms. Feeling her slight body
against his, it felt so right, just like he'd always remembered it.
Resting one hand on her back, he could feel her long hair tickling
his hand and he wondered what it would feel like to have it tickle
his bare chest. Shaking his head, Graham tried to stay focused on
the task at hand, which was dancing with Willow and denying all
thoughts that would cause him pain. Over hearing Willow's
conversation with Buffy already caused that and from the sounds of
it, competing with Willow's ex would be a waste of time. He'd end up
losing her anyway. Maybe if he cut his losses now, Graham could save
himself further pain and escape with a slightly bruised heart instead
of a shattered one.
They danced for a while each lost in their own thoughts. Willow
didn't know what was happening with Graham, but she was terrified
she'd just lost him. She should have told him about Russell. Okay,
she figured anyone who stood in a grocery store line would have seen
their faces on the covers of the Enquirer and The Globe. Now she was
losing the only person she'd truly loved all because of her habit of
falling for her leading men. Granted that she'd always fallen for
them during filming and by time the premiere rolled around she was
single, broken hearted and wondering if she should pick up the phone
and call Graham, but each time she stopped herself. Why? Why had she
never made that phone call?
"What happened?" Riley whispered to Buffy as he witnessed Graham's
coolness toward Willow.
"He overheard us discussing Willow's relationship with Russell
Crowe," she explained, turning her head to look at the couple across
the room.
"Ouch. Aren't they the latest incarnation of Paltrow and Affleck?
Are they or aren't they a couple?"
"For awhile it was definitely like that, but I know they're over now.
Guess who won Bogart's role? You get three guesses and the first
two don't count. And of course being the good friend I am…" she
couldn't finish the sentence. Somehow Buffy felt responsible for
putting the crimp into Willow and Graham's love lives.
"Ah shit," Riley grimaced thinking of his poor friend. "Damn, and it
looked so good for them this time."
"I know. Willow says she can handle Russell this time, and I know
she's saying that because of Graham. I can't believe I stood there
arguing with her about it, right in front of Graham!"
"Do you think she loves him?"
"I know she does, she has forever," Buffy sighed.
"I just hate having to ruin a new shovel," Riley said, resting his
head on top of Buffy's.
They had been dancing for a while when Graham finally pulled away
from Willow. He wanted so desperately to hold her forever and never
let her go, but he knew he could never do that to her. She was a
star, there was no room for him in her life. It was best if he
realised that now.
"Look all, I'm off to bed. I promised Sam I would go with her and
the kids to see Santa at the mall tomorrow, then skating, so I need
my beauty rest."
"I didn't know you had agreed to go with her," Riley said.
"Yeah, Tristan invited me the other day when I called home. Sorry.
I forgot to mention it. Anyway, night everyone," he said, backing
out of the room.
Willow stood watching him go and she fought the urge to race after
him. She knew he need time to understand her life and maybe she
needed the time to figure her own life out too. She swiped at the
one stubborn tear that insisted on escaping down her cheek. Maybe
they were never meant to be, but if that was the case why did it feel
so right with him? Hadn't she decided to do what she needed to do in
order to own his heart?
"Will, are you okay?" Buffy said, coming to stand beside her friend.
"Yeah. Maybe Graham's right, it's been a long day and I'm tired as
well. Good night you two," she placed a kiss on Riley's cheek and
walked out of the room.
"God damn him!" Riley exploded.
"We don't know what he's thinking about Riley. Maybe he needs time
to work this out for himself," Buffy said, putting her hand on his
arm.
"No, he just shut the door on her. I've watched him do it his whole
life. He's afraid she'll hurt him. Damn him!"
"Give him time, Riley," Buffy urged, hugging Riley and hoping that
Graham could see past the conversation he'd just been an observer to.
"I hope you're right," Riley said, hugging her back as he yawned.
"I think you need to head to bed too," Buffy told him, rubbing his
back.
Riley just nodded and mumbled something unintelligible that sounded
like "you might be right".
"I always am," she said, taking his hand in hers.
"Are you still going to tuck me in?" he asked leering at her.
"Not the way you want to be tucked in," she retorted swatting his arm.
"Can't blame a guy for asking," Riley shrugged his shoulders.
"I think I'll see if Gray wants to talk."
"Good idea," Buffy smiled as she leaned in to kiss him goodnight. How
she wished she could wake up in his arms, but it was too soon for
that, especially in light of the headway she'd made with Hope tonight.
"I love you," she said, marvelling at how easy it was to say it to
him.
"Love you too. Go on with you! I have to turn the lights out."
"See you in the morning."
Riley stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched her float up to
bed.
After unplugging the Christmas tree and banking the fire, Riley
wandered into the living room where he found Graham slouched in one
of the wing back chairs.
" You okay?" Riley asked, sitting down opposite him.
"Just came to a realisation that's all."
"Don't do that, Graham," Riley warned. "I did that once and look
where it got me. Talk to Willow, and try and figure this out.
There's gotta be a way that you won't feel threatened every time she
kisses some guy at work."
"It's not that, Rye. I just need to be alone for awhile. I'll come
looking for you when I'm ready to talk."
"Promise?"
"You got it."
Riley turned off the lights leaving Graham to sit in the dark by
himself.
<I love her, but I can't risk losing her. I'd die if she left me. >
Graham laughed to himself.
<God! I do sound like Riley used to. >
Leaning his head back, he sat in the dark trying to figure out if it
was worth taking the risk. Could he risk losing her, or could he
live with himself if he didn't take the chance that was presenting
itself again? Sighing, he got up from the chair and headed to bed.
The story continues in chapter 15
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