RATING: PG
COUPLING: Buffy/Riley Willow/Graham
SUMMARY: A/U - Riley has left Buffy, and this is 10 years into the future.
DISCLAIMER: All BtVS characters belong to the wonderfully talented mind of Joss Whedon. However I do own Riley's daughters and Sam the nanny.
FEEDBACK: Pretty pretty please! I really hate to beg, but will .
SPOILERS: All of Season 5, and my own little universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ladies and gentleman please put your hands together and welcome my wonderful Beta reader, Anne-Marie back from vacation!!! Chris, thanks so much for all your wonderful feedback, you're such a good buddy! To all the wonderful authors out there who inspire me - Ace, Sam, Amy, Jesmin, Ginger, Holli, Nicole- thank you for challenging me everyday. Thank everyone who finds the time to send me feedback!
Riley sat in his office and looked at the clock. It was 7:00 am and he really needed to speak with Graham. It was business and the type of business that they were involved in didn't care what time of the day or night it was. He'd been up since 4:00 when the private phone beside his bed had rung. Claire and the girls used to joke and call it his 'Bat phone', since it was this phone that would often spirit him away late at night.
According to his operative in charge their case in New Orleans was falling apart and they needed to make a major strategy change. Jackson had wanted the big boss’s approval before they charged in with both barrels blazing. New Orleans had been a hotbed of activity for awhile now, and according to Jackson, the situation was getting worse. He had lost 2 field agents last night.
Riley got up out of his chair and made his way to the stairs, noting how damn quiet the house was. It was times like this that he missed Claire the most. She would sit beside him pulling case files from cabinets and looking up information on the Internet for him during these crisis situations. Even after the girls had been born, she'd still get up in the middle of the night to back him up but this morning he sat alone, making decisions that could affect both the holidays and the lives of his employees. He desperately needed Graham's input.
He knocked softly on the door of Graham's room, afraid that he'd wake Willow, and waited for an answer. The second time he knocked a little louder but when he still didn't get a response he pushed the door open. The sight that met his eyes made him smile: two heads sharing one pillow. Willow was tucked very nicely into Graham's protective embrace. Riley stood there watching them for a minute, envying their contentment, before he closed the door again.
"Glad to see you worked things out. I think the two of you deserve to sleep in today," Riley said as he closed door and headed back down the stairs to his office. He'd have to make the executive decision on his own in this case.
_____________________________________________________________________
Willow woke as she heard the door open. Through the slits of her eyes, she could see Riley watching her and Graham. Without moving, Willow watched him stand in the doorway and smile at them. She knew he was happy for them, almost as happy as she was.
<Thank you Riley. Now I just have to make sure you and Buffy are as happy as I am. >
Riley softly closed the door, but not before she heard his whispered comment about sleeping in.
<So you're letting us sleep in. Better make the most of this alone time. >
Willow turned her head so she could stare into Graham's sleeping face. His beauty left her breathless. Willow had worked with many of Hollywood’s leading men, some considered to be among the most handsome in the world and yet none of them compared to the man lying next to her. He was by far the most beautiful.
<Could you really say a man was beautiful? >
If so, then Graham was breathtakingly beautiful. Willow reached up and brushed his hair off his forehead and she wondered briefly when he'd grown out the crew cut look. He smiled in his sleep as Willow ran her fingers through his hair.
"Goddess, you are beautiful," she whispered, letting her hand slip down the contours of his face. She had never forgotten how handsome he was, but lying this close to him, it was almost overwhelming. Feeling his arms wrapped around her, and his warm breath on her cheek, she felt loved and safe for the first time in years. She tried to stretch in her contentment, and felt a sharp stabbing pain in her right ankle.
Her sudden movement and intake of breath woke Graham up.
"You okay?" He asked, looking at her with a concerned albeit sleepy look in his eyes.
"It just hurts when I move it. Must be the bones rubbing together."
"Want me to get you a pain killer?" He asked, starting to pull away from her.
"No, it's not that bad, and those things make me so groggy. I want to remember everything about waking up in your arms," she said, snuggling deeper into his embrace.
"Everything?" He whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. For 10 years Graham had woken up with one woman or another but this was the one he had always been with in his dreams.
"Everything," she murmured against his lips as she kissed him back just as softly. For a few moments they lost themselves in each other but Graham pulled his head away from Willow and said,
"Can we talk for a minute? This is really serious."
At Willow’s nod, Graham took a deep breath and continued,
"I want to slow this down before one of us gets hurt by the sudden change in our relationship."
"You want to slow it down?" Willow said, pulling slightly away from him. She couldn’t help feeling like he was rejecting her.
<Okay Miller, you have just won the asshole of the month award! > He thought to himself as Willow moved away from him.
"That's not what I mean. I want to slow this down," he said, waving to them in bed together. "I don't want us jumping into a stage of this relationship that neither of us are ready for emotionally. We did that before and I think that's what did us in the last time."
Graham reached across the space between them to caress her bare arm.
Staring into his beautiful blue eyes, Willow felt her heart thumping in her chest. Though he hadn't said it directly, he'd indicated that he wanted to be with her and not just as her friend.
"You want us to be an 'us'?" She asked carefully, moving back towards him.
"More than anything else in the world, but I want to take it slow. There's a lot we need to talk about. Both of our lives have changed so drastically since college."
Graham’s eyes twinkled mischievously at her,
"I mean, today I’m sleeping with a woman most men fantasise about! God knows I did!"
Willow started to giggle and before long the giggle turned into a full laugh as she pulled away from him. Graham shot her a hurt look, not knowing whether to be insulted or not at her laughter, and started to get out of bed.
"Where the hell do you think you're going? Get back in here!" She demanded, wishing she could attack him this very second, however her ankle was putting a crimp in her plans.
"Excuse me?" He said, throwing her a disbelieving look.
"I, said, Get…Your…Gorgeous…Sexy… Ass… Back… Here!" Willow said slowly emphasising each word, so he wouldn't misunderstand her.
"Really?" He asked, staring at her. Willow just nodded her head, as she lay back against the pillows and stared up at him.
Climbing back in beside her, Graham laid down on his side so he could be face to face with her.
"You, Miller, amaze me. Why couldn't you have been this eloquent all those years ago? That's what I was laughing at, not you or your confession," she said smiling at him. "I like the idea of you fantasising about me and suddenly I have this man in my bed, or should I say, whose bed I'm in, who actually can tell me how he's feeling. Stoic man seems to be gone."
"Guess it took losing you to learn an important lesson."
"Can I ask you something?" She said sweetly. Graham could never refuse her and shook his head yes.
"When did you grow out your crew cut?" She asked, once again running her fingers through his hair.
"I guess after I let the agency. I needed a change. Why, you don't like it?"
"It's okay, but the crew cut made your eyes stand out more. I miss it."
"Note to self, make appointment with John for hair cut," he said, caressing her cheek.
"You don't have to do that! I was just wondering."
"I will do whatever is in my power to make you happy, and if that means having my hair cut, then so be it."
"You are too much. I don't want you doing anything that you don't want to do."
"I can live with the hair cut," he assured her, leaning in to kiss her nose.
"Good! Because I much prefer it the other way."
"Okay, can I ask a question now?" He said, looking deeply into her eyes again.
"Why do I have a feeling this isn't going to be something I'm going to like answering?" Willow said apprehensively.
"Because I don't think you will either. It's not going to be easy."
"Okay let me get comfortable, then you can ask me."
Willow shifted around trying to find a comfortable position. Giving her an expectant look, Graham waited for her to give him the nod indicating that she was comfortable.
"Alright then. Why did you choose Tara over me back then?" Graham asked her quietly. As soon as he asked, Graham looked away and wished he hadn't asked her the question at all. It was a very raw wound for him still and he wasn’t sure that he wanted Willow to see how much her decision had affected him.
"Wow! You can pick the hard questions, can't you?" Willow said as she ran her hand through her long hair, wondering how she was going to explain this all to him.
"That's why I make the big bucks," he joked, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had descended over the room.
"It's not really easy to explain. I just thought that Tara wouldn't hurt me, but I was so very wrong," she said sadly, looking into Graham's eyes.
"I would never have hurt you Will. I cared so deeply about you. How could I have ever hurt you?"
"I'm really not to sure how to start this… maybe it would be better if I explained it from the beginning," Willow exhaled, wishing she could get out of bed and pace the room, but her injured ankle wouldn't let her.
"If that's what you need to do," Graham pulled himself up so that he was braced against the headboard of his bed, allowing Willow to lean against him.
"Before I met Buffy I was the world's biggest geek, nerd, whatever you want to call it. Hanging out with Buffy, well, I started to change. I came out of my shell, I found confidence I never knew I had and I met Oz my junior year..."
"He was the guy you were dating during freshman year, right?" Graham interrupted to make sure he knew whom they were discussing.
"Yeah, that's Oz. Anyway, when I started dating him, I was always watching over my shoulder, afraid some girl would try and steal him from me. But Oz always told me how much he loved me, and how important I was to him. Then I cheated on him with Xander."
If this conversation hadn’t been so serious, Willow would have burst out laughing at the look that appeared on Graham's face at this revelation.
"Yes, Xander and I were together for about two seconds, and it was nice, but horrible at the same time. Oz and Cordelia caught us in the act. Xander was dating Cordelia at the time. To make a long story short, Oz forgave me and took me back but I always felt guilty about ‘the clothes fluke’, and did whatever I could to be the perfect girlfriend. Then we started college, and suddenly I was very unsure about Oz and me. He seemed to know so many people on campus, and a lot of them were women, I was afraid I'd lose him. He was a musician after all."
"I can understand that," Graham snorted remembering the man Willow had dated, but then women did strange things when it came to musicians.
"Don't be like that," she chastised him with an elbow in the ribs. "Oz was a great guy."
"Okay, okay. I repent my sins," Graham said, trying to look innocent and regretful.
Willow arched a perfect brow at him and said,
"I know you're only faking, but I'm not prepared to deal with it right now. It will have to wait till later and I'm sure I can come up with a few interesting things for your punishment."
Willow's implied intentions were hard to miss.
"I sure hope you can. I've been a very bad boy," Graham grinned evilly at her as he leaned down to lick the side of her neck.
"Keep this up and I won't be able to answer your questions. Or is this a new interrogation method I haven't heard of?"
"Sorry," Graham said, straightening up and leaning his head back against the headboard. "Back to your story."
"Where was I?"
"College, afraid of loosing Oz."
"Oh yes. So anyway, he met this other girl, Veruca. She was not only a fellow musician, but a werewolf as well. They had an affair."
Why did saying those words still cause her heart to ache? Goddess! It had been 12 years ago.
Graham sensed that thinking about Oz's indiscretions still brought Willow pain and he wished that he could make all her past hurts just go away.
"You don't have to continue this. It was stupid of me to ask you. Why don’t we go have breakfast, maybe a cup of tea?" Graham suggested, trying to change the topic.
"No. I need to answer your question, and that's what I'm doing. There's just so much tied up in it, and I'm sorry if my talking about Oz disturbs you. I know the whole story about your patrol being attacked by a werewolf."
" I am lucky to be alive but we weren’t even sure if it was a werewolf. I know that you feel you need to explain this to me but I'm fine if you want to stop."
"Are you?" She asked, doubting what he was telling her.
"Yes. Positive, cross my heart," he said, crossing his heart.
Willow giggled at the absurdity of him crossing his heart.
"What about 'Scouts honour'?"
"Never was a Scout, didn't like the uniform," he replied kissing her forehead. " Do you want to get back to your story or not?"
"Okay, okay! So this is about the time when you came into my life."
"I remember seeing you after Oz left. You were at that party the night of the power failure and you seemed so sad. I wanted to talk to you but then you found that body… I wanted to shield you from it all. Then Buffy and the cops showed up and I had to go. Riley told me everything later on. It was that night that I decided to protect you, that you needed a champion, and I would be it."
"But you just came into my life at the wrong time, Graham. The last thing I wanted was to be involved with you. I was positive you'd rip my heart out and dance all over it."
"Will, I would never have hurt you. I was falling madly in love with you."
"I know that now, but I was very insecure then. Being with you was amazing, but I always felt that you were way out of my league. Hell, other women made sure I knew that you were out of my league."
"What are you talking about?"
Graham was genuinely confused by Willow's comment.
"When was the last time you looked into a mirror? Haven't you ever noticed how women swoon when you walk into a room?" Willow was highly amused by the fact that this was lost on him.
"So… "
"Graham! You're a chick magnet! Women fall in love with you the minute they lay eyes on you. Okay, if not love, than at least lust. You are the most beautiful, handsome, sexy man I have ever seen! And the quiet act! Damn! You were always Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome or the Mysterious Stranger who Stood in the Corner Nursing His Drink!"
Willow poked Graham hard with her finger and laughed at how uncomfortable he was with her description of him.
"Don't think I didn't catch your act at the Bronze all those years ago!"
"It's not like that. I only went there to watch you", Graham said by way of explanation as he played with the sheets.
"You were what?"
"I was watching you."
"Me?" She asked in disbelief. Why would he have been watching her?
"I noticed you a long time before we ever met, Willow. You were still in high school when I first saw you. You were probably a senior then."
When he didn't get a reaction from her he continued,
"We use to patrol the Bronze all the time in the early days of the Initiative, we knew that vamps often trolled there. I think the first time I saw you was when I fell in love with you. You had on this funky multi-coloured sweater and long skirt and you were swaying to the music. The Dingoes were playing that night. The look on your face was what stole my heart," Graham smiled as his mind cast back to that night so many years before.
"It was this look of pure love and happiness that shone when you looked up at Oz, and I knew he was the luckiest guy in the place. That night, and for years to come, I would wonder what it would feel like to see that look in your eyes when you looked at me."
Willow stared at him speechless. What could she say? Graham had just dropped a huge bomb in her lap! And from the look on his face, he had also just let her in on a huge secret. His eyes told her that he was telling her the terrifying truth.
"When you finally noticed me, and we started dating, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I was prepared to wait for you to look at me the same way you did Oz. I was willing to wait for you to fall in love with me…"
"It was just bad timing, Gray. My hurt was so fresh, and I didn't want to experience that again," Willow said softly, taking Graham’s hand in hers.
"I've loved you forever and a day. There was no way on God's green earth that I could have walked away from you even if I'd tried. Willow, I was home when I was in your arms. You were my world."
"Oh Graham, all the time I was afraid you'd leave me! After Oz left, my self-confidence disappeared. You want to know what I thought when you first asked me out? I thought it was a charity date, that you were doing Riley and Buffy a favour."
Willow had tears in her eyes as she admitted this to him.
"Do you know how long it took me to do that? When Riley had told me about you and Oz breaking up, I wanted to call you right away, but then he told me how broken up you were and I knew I couldn't crowd you. You were the only person I wanted in my life Willow. I would have waited forever."
"I didn't know that! I was so afraid I'd lose my heart to you and you'd walk away, that you'd leave me when you realised what a nerd I was! You have no idea how easy you are to fall in love with, do you Mr. Miller?"
As she asked him this, Willow brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his palm.
Graham looked her in the eye as the kiss reached down to his toes. He wanted to make love to her right then, but injury prevented that. He loved her more than he could ever but into words, and he was dying to show her. Graham gently pulled her to him, careful not to jar her ankle and he kissed her slowly and deliberately. As his tongue touched her bottom lip, Willow opened up to allow him access to her mouth. She shifted her position so he was practically lying on top of her. Her little hands found their way under his tee shirt and rested on the hollow of his lower back. Drawing circles with her fingers, she sent shivers down his spine, and Graham responded to her with a deep moan. Willow smiled impishly, pleased that she could elicit such a response from a man like Graham Miller. Pulling away, Willow searched his eyes, trying to recall everything about him and their talk so that she could file it away for review.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner? If I had only known!" She caressed his face.
"I didn't know how to tell you Will. I was an idiot! If I'd only…" his voice trailed off as he remembered the dreams he'd once had for the two of them.
"No more what ifs! It's just the two of us now, no one else from here on in. We'll take the time we need to make this work, and when I'm done with you Mr. Miller, there'll be no doubt in your mind of my love for you. NO rushing, just you and me."
He kissed the top of her head and held her tight against his chest, thanking God for giving him a second chance with this woman.
"Graham?" Willow's muffled voice squeaked from where it was hidden in his chest.
"Yeah?"
"I need to pee again."
"Really?"
"Yeah," she said, licking his neck.
"Suppose you want my help," he said, drawing in a sharp breath as her hand found his right nipple.
"That would be nice," she said as she nibbled her way along his jaw.
"Look, I'm trying to control myself here! Stop that!" Graham said as he pushed her away.
"What?" She asked, batting her eyelashes at him in her best innocent impression.
"You know what! I don’t' want to risk hurting you anymore than you already are."
"Then I guess it’ll have to wait till I get my cast on," Willow pouted.
"Don't do that either," Graham demanded, rolling away from her.
"What?"
"Pout. Way too sexy, especially with your hair all messy and that I've-just-woken-up look. Just looking at you requires a cold shower."
"I have that strong an effect on you?" Willow asked, truly shocked that she could have this type of hold over him.
"Yes! God! When was the last time you looked in a mirror?" Graham said to her, throwing her own line back at her.
_________________________________________________________________
Riley was stilling sitting by himself an hour later when Graham finally appeared in Riley's office.
"Willow said you were looking for me earlier this morning. What's up?" Graham asked, sitting down in the chair opposite Riley's desk.
"New Orleans."
"What happened?"
"I've had to send Reese and Wells down there this morning. It's not good. Bryan called this morning, things kind of exploded last night. We underestimated the numbers we were facing. He lost Powell and Comstock."
"Shit. Rye, you should have woken me up."
"Didn't want to disturb you and Willow. You both looked so comfortable."
"Don't give me that crap! We're partners. Just because Willow's in my bed, that's no reason for you to have to deal with decisions like this alone," Graham snapped, heaving himself out of the chair and paced across Riley's office.
"Look, other than sending Reese and Wells down there, I haven't done anything else. I wanted to speak with you first."
"I'm glad to hear that. Maybe I should have Fred warm up the jet and fly down there,"
Graham suggested, stopping his pacing to look at Riley
"No, we have Evan's tests tomorrow and I'm going to need your help with that. We also have to keep Willow safe. Those are our priorities right now. Reese can handle this. I've given him executive power while he's down there. He'll call after he's met with Jackson and he's gone over the briefing reports."
"You're right. Wells and Reese can take care of this, they don't need me down there being psycho guy. Hell, I'd be worrying about Willow the whole time I was there anyway."
He sighed, stopping his pacing in front of Riley's desk once again.
"How is she this morning?" Riley asked.
"Good," Graham smiled, thinking of her body as he'd lowered her into the bathtub. He'd been prepared to join her, when she'd told him about Riley looking in on them earlier in the morning. Graham knew Riley would only come looking for him if it was important.
"When's her appointment at the hospital?"
"10:00 at the Fracture Clinic. Steve has us meeting the head of Orthopaedic surgery there."
"Pays to have friends in high places."
"Sure does. I think you owe him big."
"Yeah, we owe him big. Thought I'd lend him and Nicole the jet and house in St. Thomas for two weeks. Sort of a Christmas/Thank you present from the two of us."
"Sounds good to me. Call Jackie and have her arrange it," Graham said reaching for the stress ball on the corner of Riley's desk.
"Sure. I'll also have her make sure the place is fully stocked, and the boat's available for them…"
"Dad?" Evan asked hesitantly, not wanting to interrupt his father and his uncle.
"Ev, come on in," Riley said, peering around Graham to see his son standing in the doorway. Riley realised the girls must have warned Evan about Riley's office, because he'd asked before entering the room.
"Good morning Ev," Graham said, sitting down in the chair.
"Good morning Uncle Graham."
"What are you doing up so early buddy?" Riley asked, getting up from behind his desk and crossing the room towards his son. Riley noticed that Evan had appeared a little flushed and was a little concerned.
"Couldn't sleep. Jordan's still asleep though."
"Yes, your sister usually sleeps like a log. Believe me when I say she needs her beauty sleep."
Riley's comment made Evan laugh. Evan had decided upon seeing his sister that when he planned on having a crush on a girl, it would be one like his sister. She was beautiful. Actually all his sisters were and he knew he was going to have his hands full keeping the boys away. After all, wasn't that his job as their big brother?
"Are you okay?" Riley asked, reaching out to feel Evan's forehead. Evan nodded listlessly.
"You have a fever!" Riley cried, trying to quell the panic that was racing through him.
"I'll go get Buffy," Graham said, springing from his chair before Evan could stop him.
"Please don't tell Mom. She'll wanna take me to the hospital or something," Evan pleaded with his father and uncle.
"Evan, I can't promise you that. I don’t know enough about you're medical condition to not include your mother. And even if I did, I'd still have to tell her," Riley said, pulling his son to him for a hug.
"Please Dad? I don't want to spend the rest of this trip in the hospital. I want to be with you and my sisters. There's so much we've planned to do," he begged his father as tears welled up in his eyes.
"Evan, I don't know what I'm getting myself into here. Let's just tell your mom and we'll call Dr. Steve and get his opinion. Deal?"
"Promise me I won't have to go to the hospital," Evan said stubbornly, crossing his little arms over his chest.
"I can't promise you that, but I can promise you that I'll keep you here if Steve thinks it's okay."
"Deal," Evan said, hugging his father tightly.
"Daddy?"
"Hey princess." Riley said, smiling at his 4-year-old as she stumbled sleepily into the room.
"I'm hungry," Tristan mumbled as she came into the office and climbed onto Graham's lap.
"How can that be? Your eyes are even open yet," Graham teased, snuggling with her.
"Yes they are," Tristan replied, opening her eyes as wide as they would go to show her Uncle she was awake. "See?"
"What do you want for breakfast?" Riley asked, looking at his daughter and Graham. If he hadn't known better, he'd have sworn that Graham and Tristan were father and daughter.
"Pancakes!" She bounced
"Is Hope up?"
"Not yet, but I can go wake her if you want," Tristan offered. Riley sighed at his ever-helpful child.
"No, leave her," Riley warned.
"'’Kay."
"Why don't we go have a bowl of cereal for now, and pancakes when everyone else wakes up? How's that Tristan? Evan?" Riley asked, getting up off the couch.
"Sounds good to me," Evan said, moving to leave the room.
"Wait for me, Ev!" Tristan yelled, trailing after her brother.
"If she keeps that up, I think even the Jorgenson's next door will be joining us for breakfast," Graham laughed, slapping Riley on the back as they followed the kids to the kitchen.