The Song Remembers When
Chapter Twenty-Four
RATING: PG
COUPLING: Buffy/Riley Willow/Graham
SUMMARY: A/U - Riley has left Buffy, and this is 10 years into the
future.
DISCLAIMER: All BtVS characters belong to the wonderfully talented
mind of Joss Whedon. However I do own Riley's daughters and Sam the
nanny, Steve and Nicole.
FEEDBACK: Pretty pretty please! I really hate to beg, but will .
SPOILERS: All of Season 5, and my own little universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Ladies and gentleman please put your hands together
for my wonderful Beta reader, Anne-Marie, without who I'd be lost!!
Chris, thanks so much for all your wonderful feedback, you're such a
good buddy! To all the wonderful authors out there who inspire me -
Ace, Sam, Amy, Chelle, Jesmin, Ginger, Holli, Nicole- thank you for
challenging me everyday. Thank everyone who finds the time to send
me feedback!
Riley left the celebration going on in the den behind him and walked
down the hall towards the front of the house. As happy as he
currently was, Riley needed a few minutes alone to thank God and
Claire for answering his prayers. Stopping in the hallway opposite
the photo gallery he looked at the picture of his and Claire's
wedding day. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she had
looked and he smiled to himself.
"Thanks Claire," he whispered. "I couldn't have stood to lose him
too." Riley reached out to trace her face in the picture. Though it
had been two years since her death he still missed her and loved her
and as much as he loved Buffy and was glad she was back in his life,
he couldn't forget the mother of his children. He would always love
Claire.
"Claire, he means the world to me."
"That's because he's a great kid Riley. Claire would have loved
him," Nicole said as she came to stand behind Riley. She wrapped her
arms around his waist and squeezed gently.
"Yeah that's what I told her last night, when I asked for her help.
I know she would have loved him to death."
Nicole came around him to look at Claire's picture.
"It's so easy to see what he means to you," Nicole said, turning to
smile up at him.
"Yeah, I love him Nick. He means so much to me," Riley sighed. "I
never thought I could fall in love with someone so quickly."
"Oh Riley. Did you forget how you fell in love with each of your
daughters when they were born? You may not have been there when he
was born, but you are his father, no matter what," Nicole shook her
head in wonder. "I can't get over how much he looks like you! I use
to think Jordy looked like you, but Evan…"
"I know, kind of scary isn't it?" Riley grinned at Nicole making her
smile back at him.
"And it appears his mother means a lot to you too," Nicole said
slyly.
"Buffy's special, if that's what you're asking me," Riley said,
carefully choosing his words. Talking to his deceased wife's best
friend about his feelings for Buffy was not a conversation he really
wanted to have right this minute, or ever for that matter, but now
that it had come up he didn't really know how to get out of it.
"I like her Riley. It's obvious she loves you, and that's what you
deserve. I'm happy for you," Nicole said sincerely as she gave him a
hug.
"You can't possibly know how happy I am to hear you say that Nick! I
was really worried that you wouldn't like her," Riley exhaled slowly,
realizing that he'd been holding his breath while he waited for
Nicole Bishop's approval.
"I'm sure if Claire were alive the two of them would have been fast
friends," Nicole said and then laughed at the stricken look on
Riley's face.
"Come on Riley! Claire always knew that Buffy owned your heart. She
also knew that when the time was right you and Buffy would find your
way back to each other."
Nicole took Riley's hand and led him into the living room. They sat
down on the sofa and Riley stared blankly at the Christmas tree as
Nicole's words sunk in.
"Riley don't get me wrong, Claire knew you loved her, but if she
hadn't been pregnant with Jordy, you probably would have found your
way back to Buffy sooner. She knew that the love you and Buffy
have… it's the stuff romance novels are written about. The two
of you have endured enough apart and maybe this is Claire's way of
bringing you back together. Have you ever thought of that?"
Riley listened to Nicole and her words rang true in his heart. Could
she be right? Could it be Claire that had brought them all back
together again? He knew that Nicole was right and that his wife had
known all about Buffy. Hell, he'd been the one to tell her but he
found it difficult to picture Buffy and Claire as friends. Then
again, maybe Nicole was right about that as well.
"You know a couple of years ago, before Tristan was born, she offered
to divorce me. She said that she wanted me to be happy and she
thought that was Buffy…" Riley's voice trailed off and he ran his
hands through his hair before dropping them into his lap. He
remembered the conversation as if it were yesterday, could still feel
his outrage at her suggestion.
"I know. I tried to talk her out of it but know this Riley, Claire
only did that because she loved you. She knew you weren't happy at
the time and that you were feeling hemmed in. She thought it would be
better for you both." Reaching over, Nicole took both of his hands in
hers, forcing him to turn on the couch so they faced each other.
"I never doubted Claire's love for me. I only doubted my own for
her. My heart had always belonged to Buffy even though I loved
Claire. After she offered me the divorce I knew that there was no
way I could leave her. I loved her Nick, and I still do," Riley said
softly, dropping his eyes to stare at their hands.
"Riley don't forget I've been with you through it all and I never
doubted your love for Claire just as I don't doubt your love for the
blonde in the den either," Nicole squeezed Riley's hands, which made
him look up at her
"Knowing Claire the way that I did, I'm positive she wouldn't want
you sitting here beating yourself up because you're ready to get on
with your life. It's been 2 years, Riley, it's time to let go of the
past and move on and just because Claire's dead, it doesn't mean that
you have to pretend to be dead as well. Live your life Riley, live
for the both of you," Nicole said as she felt tears rolling down her
face.
"Nick, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry," Riley whispered as
he reached into his pocket and pulled out a clean Kleenex and handed
for her. Nicole looked at the Kleenex and gave Riley a funny look.
"I'm guessing there's been a lot of crying around here lately, if
you're carrying Kleenex in your pocket Riley, but tonight it stops!"
"I think you might be right, Nicole. I think it's time for me to let
go of her as well. Think Buffy and Willow could handle a new
girlfriend?" He asked as he smiled at Nicole who was busily dabbing
at her eyes.
"I know we can," Buffy said from the doorway where she was holding a
sleeping Tristan.
"Buffy!" Nicole exclaimed, smiling at the blonde holding Riley's
youngest in her slim arms.
"What are you doing?" Riley asked as he got up from the couch to
cross the room.
"Someone is a little partied out, so I'm going to tuck her in," Buffy
replied fondly, nodding at the four-year-old asleep in her arms.
"Here. Let me put her to bed," Riley said as he stepped forward to
take Tristan from Buffy.
"No way! Graham and I flipped a coin and I won the honor of putting
Little Miss Thing here to bed. Now you two hurry back down to that
den, Willow and Steve are threatening to sing every ABBA song they
know, if you don't' join them soon. And believe me when I say Willow
knows them all! So, if you care about Graham at all then I'd suggest
you head back there and save him."
Buffy winked at the other two adults and started to leave the room,
but was stopped as Riley caught her arm and pulled her back to him.
Leaning down, he kissed his daughter's forehead.
"Goodnight and sweet dreams princess," he said to her and then he
dropped a kiss on Buffy's lips.
"Hurry back or I'll send the ABBA wannabe's up to find you," he
threatened, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
"Oh you think your tough?"
"You know I am," he swatted her behind as she left the room.
Turning back to Nicole, Riley noticed the big smile on her face and
he ducked his head in embarrassment and smiled at the floor.
"God! She even loves your kids! She's putting them to bed and your
nanny's here. She's perfect for you!" Nicole laughed. It was common
knowledge that Riley insisted on putting his daughters to bed each
night.
"I know," he said simply and grinned foolishly at her.
"So when are you going to ask her to marry you?"
" Shit Nick! She's only been back in my life for a week," Riley said,
shaking his head in disbelief at her question. How could she know
that he was already thinking of asking Buffy to marry him?
"So when?" Nicole asked again, totally ignoring his reply.
"When the kids are ready."
"The kids! Don't give me that! The four of them get on like
gangbusters, and she loves them…"
"But Hope's not ready for a new mom yet. She's just starting to warm
up to Buffy and I promised her…"
"Don't tell me…"
"Just till she's ready," Riley finished lamely
"Riley! My God! Hope could be 68 and she still may not be ready.
Don't let her dictate your happiness."
"I'm not! It's just… well… when she's ready. Buffy knows
this and has accepted it," Riley sighed.
Nicole snorted in a most unladylike fashion at Riley's thin excuses.
"Well I'll tell you one thing, if I were Buffy, I wouldn't wait
forever! She's waited long enough for you, don't you think?" she
asked.
"God Nick, you and I just talked about letting go! We have to give
Hope time to adjust as well," Riley said attempting to defend his
daughter.
"Yes, Riley you have to give Hope a chance to adjust to Claire's
death and having Buffy as a part of your life but you don't have to
allow Hope to run your life. There's a big, big difference in that,
my friend," Nicole said firmly. The dark haired woman stood toe to
toe with him, hands on her hips, her head tilted back so she could
look him in the eye. "Am I right, Riley?"
She was challenging him to dispute what she said and the bitch of it
was he couldn't. Riley knew that Nicole was giving him the straight
story. He sighed.
"I'm only saying this, because I love you," Nicole continued when
Riley didn't answer her. "Buffy's good for you and the girls and
it'll be good for Evan too. Women like Buffy don't come along
everyday, so don't screw this up Finn!"
Nicole thumped his chest to emphasize her words and then turned on
her heel and began to walk toward the door, calling over her shoulder
as she went:
"Come on! Miller owes me a Cosmopolitan and that boy knows how to
mix a drink!"
Riley stood stunned as he watched Hurricane Nicole leave the room and
then he laughed.
<I don't know how Steve does it! The woman's a tyrant!>
She was also right. How long should he wait until Hope was ready to
accept Buffy into their lives? When the time was right he would
choose for his family. Following Nicole from the room, Riley could
hear the first notes of "Dancing Queen" coming from his den. He
sighed and shook his head. It was going to be a long night, he could
just feel it!
______________________________________________________________________
After the kids had been tucked into bed, the adults sat in the den
enjoying the fire and the music. Buffy, who had been sitting in the
circle of Riley's arms all evening, was really enjoying herself. She
was touched by the way that Steve and Nicole had so easily accepted
her and Willow into their circle. It was obvious to both women that
this couple was important to Riley and Graham and it meant a lot to
her that the guys' friends had so readily accepted them. Watching
the Bishops with Riley and the way they treated him made her love them
all the more. Nicole, though constantly joking and more than a
little outspoken, was warm and loving with Riley and his daughters
and there seemed to be a special bond between them, a closeness that
went beyond simple friendship. Steve and Riley's relationship was
more like one between brothers. There was even a slight resemblance
she noticed though Steve was not as tall or broad as Riley. The
relationship was warm and loving, and the way they included her and
Willow in their private jokes made her feel more secure in her
relationship with Riley. Now all she had to do was win over his
family and Hope.
"So Buffy, tell me the real story behind your meeting this goofball.
His version has you dropping books on his head," Steve said as he
perused Riley's CD collection.
Glancing up at Riley, Buffy felt herself blush and she smiled meekly
at Steve.
"He's telling you the truth. It was the first day of classes, my
freshman year. Wills and I were in the bookstore, and well… they
were all out of the frosh psych book but I noticed some on the top
shelf…"
"And that's when the beheading started!" Willow giggled from her safe
place across the room as Buffy threw her a mock glare. "It was the
type of thing that if you'd seen it in a movie you'd have known she
was in for trouble!"
"Yeah and so was Riley," Graham snorted, remembering his friend
coming back to Lowell and telling him and Forrest about the little
blonde that he'd just met in the bookstore.
"I dropped all of them on Riley's head! He was on the other side of
the shelf looking for his own books."
"Just about gave me a concussion," Riley laughed ruefully as he
rubbed his head and remembered the day his life had changed forever.
"So that's what caused all that brain damage!" Nicole said and
laughed her deep, throaty laugh. She shook her empty glass in Graham
direction, indicating that another Cosmopolitan was in order.
"Yeah and not only did I give the cutest guy on campus a concussion,
I also found out that he was my psych T.A.!"
Nicole and Steve both burst out laughing at the expression on Buffy's
face.
"There went your grades!" Steve snickered.
" I actually managed to pass that class with a great mark. Seems I
had a great study partner," Buffy grinned wickedly at Steve.
"I didn't know I was that good," Willow said absently, running her
hand up and down Graham's arm.
"I don't think she was referring to you sweetheart, even though we
all know how brilliant you are," Graham leaned down to kiss the
beautiful red head in his arms, before getting up to make another
round of Cosmos.
"Oh, sorry," she laughed, catching on to Buffy's innuendo.
"You helped too Wills, but Riley was the one who forced me to study."
"Yeah, we had a living breathing case study of Pavlov's theory going
on nightly in my room," Riley exhaled sharply as Buffy's elbow
contacted with his ribs.
"Riley! Oh you are so funny," she said, pinching his arm.
"At least I don't have to worry about you kicking my ass anymore."
Riley stopped laughing when he felt Buffy stiffens in his arms. She
quickly darted looks at Steve and Nicole before glaring at him.
"What?" He asked as Buffy pulled out of his arms and rushed out of
the room, leaving everyone staring after her.
"What?" He asked again looking at Willow, who just shrugged her
shoulders. He didn't have a clue as to what she could be so upset
about.
"I think she's upset," Graham said flatly as he tried not to laugh at
his the look on his friend's face.
"No shit, Sherlock!" Riley muttered as he pulled himself up to his
full height and went after Buffy.
______________________________________________________________________
Riley found Buffy in the game room absently rolling balls over the
pool table. Even with her back to him, Riley could tell that she was
crying but he didn't have a clue why.
"Buffy, honey what's wrong?" He asked, placing both hands on her
shoulders.
"Don't touch me!" She snapped, shrugging his hands off her shoulders.
"What did I do?" He asked. Riley was totally baffled by the sudden
change in her Buffy's behavior.
"You just told them!" Buffy shouted, shoving him away from her.
"Told them what?" He asked, still not understanding what she was
getting at.
"You told them! How could you?"
"What!"
"About who I was."
Buffy felt like she'd been slapped in the face with her past. Here
she was trying to forget their past, and he was throwing it back at
her by telling his friends about what had eventually destroyed their
relationship.
"They know who you are. You're Buffy Summers," Riley said, trying to
calm her down.
"No, that I was the slayer!"
"God Buffy! Everyone knows who you were! You were well known to
everyone in the Initiative," he said, looking at her as he leaned
back against the pooltable.
"Initiative?"
"Where do you think I met them both? Steve, Graham and I were in the
Initiative in Sunnydale together. Steve relocated to Virginia, when
it became the new headquarters and that's were he met Nicole and
Claire."
"They were all part of the Initiative?" Buffy asked, surprised by
what Riley was telling her. His wife and Nicole both knew about what
went bump in the night but he hadn't shared that important bit of
information with her.
"They knew about everything. Why the hell do you think Nicole works
for us?" Riley asked reaching out for her.
"How was I suppose to know? You won't tell me what you do for a
living!" Buffy blasted him.
"So what are you mad at? That I didn't tell you everything, or that
I've reminded you of what you aren't capable of doing anymore," Riley
snapped at her. He was tired of this little game already.
"Okay THAT was totally uncalled for! I gave up everything in order
to have my son, and I don't regret my decision."
"Then why are you so mad at me?"
"I don't know!"
"Are you sure of that?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.
"I'm not who I used to be anymore, Riley and I know that's partly
what attracted you to me," she said quietly, pushing the 8 ball
around the table.
"Okay, I'm lost now. I fell in love with you long before I knew what
you were."
"Maybe, but can you tell me that my being the slayer and stronger
than the average woman wasn't a turn on for you?"
"I loved you! I didn't care that you were the slayer or not. So
maybe I was a little turned on by the fact, but it also scared the
hell out of me! I learned to accept that part of you but the Slayer
wasn't who I fell in love with," he said, grabbing her hands to focus
her attention to him instead of the 8 ball.
"Then tell me why you seemed so excited by the fact that Sam could
'kick major ass'? And that sir, is a direct quote!"
Riley watched her eyes flash and he could suddenly see her
insecurity. It was like looking into a mirror frozen 10 years ago.
His eyes had reflected that same sense of helplessness near the end
of their relationship.
"Buffy, she's my children's nanny slash bodyguard! It's important to
me that she's able to protect them when I'm not here," Riley caressed
the side of her face, wishing he could take the doubt from her eyes.
"But why did you have to seem so… I don't know, excited about
it?" She blurted out.
"Buffy! Are you jealous of Sam?" Riley asked. He was stunned to
think this wonderful, sexy woman could be jealous of anyone.
"I don't know," she said, shrugging her shoulders.
"You don't know?" Riley asked, staring at her as he felt laughter
bubble up through his chest. He knew that he shouldn't laugh at her.
She might not be able to kick his ass anymore but her anger was
still enough to terrify him. He just couldn't help it though! It
was so… cute!
"Okay, maybe I am jealous of Sam, so wha… don't you laugh at me!"
Buffy exclaimed as Riley sniggered quietly.
"I'm not!"
"Yes you are!"
Watching him laugh at her, Buffy wanted to kill him but as the
irrationality of the situation hit her, she started to cry.
"I'm sorry," she said sniffling and suddenly feeling like a total
idiot. She was mad at him because she wasn't the slayer anymore. How
stupid was that? When had this loss of a power that she'd once
thought of as a burden caused her to feel like she'd lost a part of
herself?
"It okay."
"No it's not! I'm pissed off because I can no longer kick someone's
ass, and Sam can. I can't protect a fly anymore and it bothers me!"
"You can kill more than a fly and you know that. So maybe you can't
take out a demon, you're still pretty dangerous in your own right."
"No I'm not!" She fumed at him. "You're just saying that to make me
feel better."
"Oh so all that training and the skills that you learned disappeared
the day you lost your strength?"
"No, but…"
"Buff, you may not be the slayer anymore, but you're still the
strongest woman I know. You've been through so much and you're still
standing. I mean, you decided to raise our son alone. That in
itself was hard enough but somehow you managed to graduate from
college and law school and then just when you had enough to deal
with, Evan was diagnosed with leukemia. Sweetheart, you have more
courage and strength than anyone else I know!"
"I had lots of help," Buffy smiled and sniffed.
"Don't give me that Buffy! You've done this all on your own, and done
a wonderful job. Evan's your son and I see how close the two of you
are, and I'm almost jealous of that! He beams the minute you walk
into the room. You two are so close and that kind of relationship
doesn't develop by paying babysitters my dear," Riley reached for
Buffy and pulled her against him.
"Our son is a remarkable child and that was your doing, no one
else's. So I don't give a shit that Sam can kick major ass, you're
the one who amazes me. Do you understand me?" He said, lifting her
chin with his index finger until their eyes met.
"I think so," she whispered, staring into his beautiful, loving eyes.
"Good, then kiss me, and we'll go back to our guests," he said,
lowering his head toward her lips, but she pulled away.
"I can't go back in there! They'll think I'm an idiot."
"Buffy, believe me, you're don't have the market cornered there,"
Steve said from behind them.
Buffy and Riley quickly separated and turned to look at Steve.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with you both."
"Steve, I need to apologize for my behavior," Buffy ventured, but was
quickly hushed.
"Buffy if I had a dime for every time my wife stormed out of a room,
leaving me sitting there like you just did to Riley, I could buy and
sell this man 10 times over!" Steve laughed slinging his arm over
Riley's shoulder.
"But…"
"No buts! Nicole and I are cool with it, so no more needs to be
said," Steve said, waving off her attempts to apologize.
"So are you and Nick leaving?" Riley asked absently. He was totally
preoccupied with the beautiful woman standing next to him.
"No, she's bonding with Willow. They're discussing shopping. Nick's
agreed to show the ladies where they can find dresses and a tux for
Evan tomorrow."
"Willow isn't going anywhere!" Riley said, preparing himself to lock
horns with the stubborn redhead down the hall. He'd promised Xander
and Angel that he'd keep her safe and he'd meant it.
"Graham said the same thing, but she sweet talked him into letting
her go. But only if she takes a dozen men with her for protection."
"Riley, Willow's use to traveling with bodyguards. She's been doing
it since all this stuff with the stalker started a few years ago,"
Buffy said, reaching out to stop Riley from charging out of the room.
"But will she be safe?"
"Rye, she'll be fine. Nick and Buffy will be with her, plus 4 of
your best agents. Relax!" Steve said, leaning back against the pool
table. "I need to speak to you both about Jordy."
"What about Jordy?" Riley felt his stomach muscles tighten at the
mere mention of his daughter's name.
"I want to talk with her alone tomorrow. She needs to know what's
going to happen with the transfusion and what may happen if it
doesn't work."
Buffy and Riley reached for each other at the same time.
"She needs to know that even if we do the marrow transfusion, it may
not save Evan. You both know it all depends on how far along his
illness is."
"Do you really need to tell her this?" Riley asked, afraid that this
might frighten his sensitive daughter.
"Yes. Riley you know that if the procedure doesn't take, Jordan will
only blame herself. She's just like you, a perfectionist."
"I'm not…"
"Give me a break," Buffy muttered as she laughed at Riley's attempt
to argue with Steve.
"If we don't prepare her, she may never get over this. I don't think
you need her blaming herself for Evan's death."
And as the words came out of Steve's mouth, Riley knew Steve was
right about Jordan. His daughter the perfectionist, the caretaker.
She'd never get over it if Evan were to die after the transfusion.
"So how are you going to do this?"
"I thought Uncle Steve could take her out for lunch tomorrow, and
I'll talk to her then."
"Are you sure you don't want us to come with you?" Buffy asked
wishing she could be there for Dani.
"No I think it's best if it's just the two of us," Steve said,
shaking his head. "I also want to speak to you about booking the
procedure."
"Booking it?" Buffy asked timidly. It was all becoming a reality, one
that Buffy didn't know that she could face. For the past 6 months
she'd only dreamed of finding a match for Evan, and now they had one.
"I'm thinking the 26th?"
"That soon?" Riley asked feeling himself cringe.
"Well I figure that you'll have all your families here, so it would
give you both the support that you're going to need."
"I never thought of that, Steve. It's a good idea actually," Riley
said, smiling encouragingly at Buffy.
"So should I book it tomorrow?"
Looking down at Buffy, Riley looked back at Steve and shook his head
yes.
"Good," Steve said and then looked over at Buffy, " Now I think some
dancing is in order here! Would you, beautiful lady, do me the honor
of a dance?"
"No kind sir, it is I who would be honored," Buffy replied, doing her
best fair-maiden impersonation.
"What is this a Jane Austin moment?" Riley cracked and shook his
head as he watched the two waltz across the room and out the door.
"You're an ass, Finn!" Steve laughed over his shoulder as he and
Buffy went out the door.
"That's me," Riley said pleasantly as he followed them back to the
den.
The story continues in chapter 25
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