The Song Remembers When
Chapter Three
RATING: PG
COUPLING: Buffy/Riley
SUMMARY: A/U - Riley has left Buffy, and this is 10 years into the
future.
DISCLAIMER: All BtVS characters belong to the wonderfully talented
mind of Joss Whedon. However I do own Riley's daughters and Sam the
nanny.
FEEDBACK: Pretty pretty please! I really hate to beg,but will .
SPOILERS: All of Season 5, and my own little universe.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay I went up to the cottage Friday night, but this
damn story has been rolling around my brain all weekend, so I came
back early to add a couple of chapters. For some reason this story
seems to have a life of it's own.
"Riley" Buffy said quietly into the receiver. She held her breath
hoping he wouldn't hang up on her. Instead she was met by silence,
and then by what sounding like him crying. Suddenly it hit her like
a Mack truck.
"Riley. Oh Riley? sweetheart it's okay. I'm okay." Hearing him
cry broke her heart. In her wildest and scariest dreams, he never
cried. Yell and scream, yes, but he never cried. Looking up she
met Zander and Anya's concerned faces and Zander gave her a weak
smile. Everyone knew how hard this was for her, and how important
this call was.
"Buffy" He finally managed to say as he felt himself calm down
enough to talk. She heard the tears still in his voice, and she so
desperately want to hold him in her arms.
"Are you okay?" She asked him tentatively, afraid of his response.
"Shocked and relieved to hear your voice. I had this strange feeling
Willow was calling to tell me you were dead." He took a deep breath
trying to steady himself.
"In the back of my mind, I've always been afraid I'd get a call like
that some day. But truthfully, I had expected it years ago. You're
the slayer Buffy. Slayers don't live forever. You 're 29, you
should have died years ago. How?"
Taking a slow deep breath of her own Buffy prepared herself to answer
his question. She'd practised telling him this for days now, but
upon hearing his voice, she couldn't find the right words. She wasn't
sure how to answer his question, so she looked at Willow for help and
support.
"Just tell him the truth." Willow mouthed to her, giving Buffy's
hand a squeeze of reassurance.
Taking the only possible and mature way out, she decide Willow was
right, the truth. She took another deep breath and jumped in with
both feet.
"Riley I stopped being the Slayer about 6 months after you left.
Seems Slayers loss their ability to continue to serve the PTB after
they have a child. There's only 2 other documented cases recorded in
Slayer?"
"You were pregnant?" Riley said interrupting her.
"Yes." She replied simply, finding all the strength she need in
Willow's hand. Buffy waiting quietly for him to say something,
anything! She felt like she was going to jump out of her skin when
she finally heard him whisper something. She'd strained her ears and
heard his quiet statement.
"It was mine, wasn't it." He wasn't asking a question, he was
making a statement.
"Yes Riley, the baby was yours." She looked to Willow again for
support and found it in her warm loving eyes. Buffy knew she could do
this.
Riley felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, he suddenly found
himself unable to breathe. He took a deep breathe and realised that
he'd been holding it since she'd told him she'd been pregnant. He
had a child with Buffy. A child that he didn't know about. A child
who'd grown up without him! She'd never told him, she'd kept this
from him. Slowly as his brain took all this in, he felt his temper
start to flare.
"I have a child that you've kept form me." His voice boomed down the
line, accusing her of the worst thing possible. He could feel his
anger coursing through his veins, looking down he noticed that his
shaking hands were clenched into fists of rage. Riley rarely lost
his temper, but when he did, it was lethal.
Feeling Riley's wraith assault her, Buffy's head snapped back, making
her glad she'd told him over the phone. His angry words assaulted
her senses, and she felt tears rolling down her face. Sitting there
she realised they were not tears of sorrow, but tears of anger.
"How dare you accuse me of not trying to tell you! I tried to ?
the day you left me, but you won't listen." She spit the words out at
him incensed at his poor memory.
"For 6 months I begged Graham to tell me where you were. I wrote you
letters, but every one came back addressed to sender. I tried Riley,
but you wouldn't even try to listen!"
As her words filtered through his angry haze, he knew that they rang
true. He'd closed himself off to her after he'd made his decision to
leave her. Denying her anything was difficult for him, and if she'd
started begging him to stay, he would have. He knew if he'd stopped
to listen to her protests that day, he'd have broken down and stayed
in a relationship with a woman who didn't love him.
Buffy tried to get a grip on her own angry feelings, this was not the
way she'd pictured telling him. She held her breath as Riley sat in
silence on the other end of the phone trying to grasp what she'd just
accuses him of. She'd tried to contact him, to let him know of her
pregnancy. She had tried for the last time when the baby was born,
but again she'd been denied. Listening to his breathing relax a bit,
she felt her own do the same. After 10 years it appeared that
Riley's presence still had that affect on her.
"This isn't the way I wanted this to come out." Buffy declared sadly
to him.
"No, I guess it isn't." Riley responded with a trace of bitterness
clearly evident in his voice. Shaking his head he got up and looked
out into the darkened backyard, through the trees he could make out
the neighbour's Christmas lights. Pressing his head against the cool
sliding glass door he waited for her to say something, anything.
"I so wanted you to be part of Evan's life, of our life." She
confessed to him honestly.
Riley missed the last part of what she'd said, as he heard her tell
him his son's name. Evan.
"I have a son?" he asked in awe. A son.
"Yes Riley, you have a son. Sean Evan Riley Summers, but he prefers
Evan. I wanted him to have an Irish name in order to honour you.
Angel helped me name him. Sean means God's Precious Gift. Evan
means young warrior, because we almost lost him during delivery. Your
son's a fighter Riley. And finally Riley, after you. You know your
name means Valiant right? I felt it was important for him to have
part of your name, since I couldn't give him your last name.
Riley felt anything but valiant as he listen to Buffy talk. He
walked away from a pregnant Buffy, allowing her to go through this
alone. Listening to Buffy's explanation of his son's name, he noticed
that each name she'd given their son had a special meaning attached
to it. She'd taken the time to not only remember his Irish ancestry,
but that she'd given his son a mantel to carry through his life,
'precious gift from god'.
"He was born April 12, 2001. He'll be be 10 next April." Buffy
smiled as she thought of her handsome son, whom bore a striking
resemblance to his father. At 9 years of age, Evan was a double for
Riley. He had his father's colouring, build and temperament. Buffy
had a hard time believing that this wonderful child was hers. He was
so very special, just like his father.
"I have more to tell you, but I don't think I can tell you over the
phone. Can you fly out here? You need to hear this in person."
Buffy tried to keep the begging sound from her voice. She looked
across at her mother and Giles holding hands, and offering her what
little encouragement they could.
"This weekend?"
Buffy's request caught him totally off guard. She wanted to talk to
him face to face. Maybe met his son. Excitedly he started to say
yes, but stopped when he thought about the girls.
"I... I can't Buffy. Sam, my nanny, she' off this weekend."
Buffy felt like she was losing control of the fine grip she had on
herself.
"Can't your wife watch your daughters by her self for a weekend?"
She was near hysterical when she thought of his lack of co-operation.
She needed him now, his wife had him all the time. Angel had told
her along time ago of Riley's marriage. It had destroyed her. To
think he had married so quickly after he'd left her. Everyone hoped
that with the news of Riley's moving on with his life, that she'd do
the same. Instead, Buffy closed her heart off to all other men, and
focused on her son and family.
Hearing her in near hysteria Riley held himself in check, it wouldn't
pay to have them both so upset. Riley rarely talked about Claire's
death with anyone besides Graham and his family. He knew he had to
tell Buffy the truth, but he didn't want her pity or sympathy.
Sitting down at the kitchen table her prepared himself to tell her.
"Claire died two years ago." Riley said swallowing the lump in his
throat that always seemed to develop when he spoke these words.
Buffy heard the grief in his voice as he told her. She could picture
him sitting there with his eyes closed, trying to keep himself under
control. He'd always done that when he'd been upset. It was like he
was counting internally to 10. She'd always envied his self-control.
"I'm so very sorry, Riley." Reminding herself to stake Angel later
for not telling her.
"That's okay. You didn't know." He sighed playing with the phone's
cord.
"Can we come there then?" Buffy was terrified he'd say no. He was
her last chance, and she was panicking her time was running out of
time.
Riley listened to her request and the panicked hopefulness in her
voice. What did she have to tell him that was so important.
"Will you bring Evan?"
"Of course."
"Please. Come."
"Okay. I'll have Willow call you later with our travel arrangement
for tomorrow."
"Sure Buffy." He replied quietly.
"Okay then. Till tomorrow."
"Till tomorrow then. Bye Buffy."
"Bye Riley." And as the line went dead she added in a whisper. "I
love you."
Hanging up her own phone, Buffy could feel her heart racing. Just
the sound of Riley's voice had set her off. In that 5 minute
telephone conversation she'd felt alive for the first time in the
last 10 years. All the emotions she had felt were real. She tried to
come to come to grips with what had been said, but she couldn't. She
was a huge jumble of feelings at the moment, and she couldn't figure
out where to start. Instead she felt herself release the tears that
she'd been holding back for so long.
Sitting next to her, Willow watched the emotions play out on Buffy's
face. And for the first time in a very long time she saw the real
Buffy emerge. The girl who had slipped away after Riley walked out
of her life.
"What did he say?" Willow asked pulling Buffy into a hug.
"Too much." Was all Buffy could say. For the first time in years
she saw a light at the end of her tunnel. Why had it taken the two of
them so long to have this conversation?
"Will, could you call the airport and make arrangements for us to
leave first thing in the morning? Then call Riley?"
"Sure, but I'm coming with the two of you. I'm not letting you do
this alone."
Buffy smiled at her dear friends concern for her. If it hadn't been
for her friends and mother, she'd never have survived the last 10
years.
"I feel like I'm going home Will. Home to Riley."
"Where you belong." Willow echoed rubbing her dear friends back.
The story continues in chapter 4
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