The Song Remembers When

Sure he'd closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the seat as soon as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot, but he didn't think he'd fall asleep. Riley glanced up to the front seat and he couldn't help but notice how comfortable Marc and Dawn seemed together. Marc's arm rested on Dawn's armrest, and she leaned over towards him, touching his arm as she spoke. He'd also noticed earlier how Marc seemed to be constantly by Dawn's side. Riley thought that perhaps he needed to speak with his brother again regarding his interest in Dawn.

"Hey sleeping beauty's awake," Marc laughed, catching his older brother's eye in the rear view mirror.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep," Riley smiled, embarrassed that he'd fallen asleep on them.

"No problem. You didn't snore or drool," Dawn said as she leaned over the armrest to grin at him.

"Glad to hear that."

"But the talking in your sleep, now that's just gotta stop," Marc cracked as he pulled up in front of the house.

"Why? Did I say something about your boring Dawn to death?"

"No, just about your manhood."

"It's okay Marc, not all of us are as big as I am."

"Deformity doesn't count."

Dawn loved listening to their good-natured ribbing. It was so different than her relationship with Buffy. Being Buffy's little sister wasn't always the easiest thing in the world to be and she used to resent Buffy's need to protect her from everything. Having the slayer as a big sister definitely put a crimp in her social life. These days it was Buffy's reputation as a big time lawyer that often scared stories away from her. Last year she'd lost a story on the FBI's Organized Crime unit, because her sister was 'controversial'. Talk about a crap excuse! So for a month Dawn refused to speak to her big sister, which meant that she'd missed Evan's 8th birthday.

Marc had already gotten out of the truck and Riley was prepared to follow him when he noticed that Dawn was staring at him.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" He asked, automatically reaching up to wipe something away.

"No. I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you're back…in their lives, I mean…you don't know…know how much it means to them. You may or may not know it Riley, but you've made both their dreams come true and I just wanted you to know. So…so thank you."

"Don't thank me Dawn, this is where I should have been all along. I regret not having been here for them and dreams come true for those who wait long enough," he winked. "Even an old man like me."

"Yeah, but you're here now. And just think: if you and Buffy had married all those years ago there wouldn't be any Jordan, Hope or Tristan. Those girls are as special as they are because of Claire, Riley. The Powers had reasons to separate you and Buffy and they're waiting inside for their dad. And you ain't old yet, old man," Dawn smiled at him, letting her hand rest on his knee.

"How'd you get so smart?" Riley asked her as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Dawn shrugged.

"Nobody's ever explained all this quite so eloquently before," he said leaning back into his seat.

"It's all fate big guy, it's all fate."

"Can I ask you a question?" Riley asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Sure," Dawn answered, turning around in her seat so that she was hanging over the back of it.

"What's going on between you and Marc?"

Dawn blushed slightly and looked out the window to see Marc throwing snowballs at Graham who had just stuck his head out the door to see what was keeping them.

"Marc? We're just friends."

"Friends?" Riley asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He's been great. Marc came down to the hospital once Angel arrived and stayed with me 'til you came. He's a great listener and last night he leant me his shoulder to cry on. Your brother's really been there for me, Riley. You have no idea how much I've appreciated his…" she stopped talking not sure what the word was she was looking for.

"Attention?" Riley volunteered

"Attention or distraction, I'm not really sure. He's been good for me. Dealing with Ev's cancer can be unbearable at times."

Riley noticed how Dawn hugged the seat a little tighter and her voice dropped in volume as she spoke.

"I'm sorry Dawn, I forget sometimes that Evan's illness has taken its toll on all of you," Riley said, taking both of her hands in his and squeezing them.

"Yeah it's been hard…especially when I couldn't be there all the time. Work keeps me away from home a lot these days…hell, who am I kidding? I'm never home! When Ev was really sick last fall, I was in China covering some band's tour for the magazine, and of course the magazine had gone to great expense to get me on this tour. So there I was on the other side of the world, and all I wanted to do was be with my family. It was so hard being so far away from them when they really needed me. Ev's health slipped so quickly that it shocked everyone…and I sat in some damn airport stranded and alone. We almost lost him…and I couldn't even find someone who spoke enough English to help me find a phone! I don't… I don't wanna go through that again, Riley."

Dawn's voice had a haunted, on the verge of tears sound to it, as if she was remembering something that she wished she could forget.

"But we're both here now, and as long as I'm here and you're part of this family Dawn, you will never be alone," Riley told her, trying to soothe her hurt as he had when she was younger. Riley made his promise knowing how she must have felt, being so far away from her family because it was how he had felt the night Claire had gone into premature labor with Tristan.

"Yeah we are both here," Dawn said and smiled slightly.

"Are you two coming in?" Marc yelled at them as he ducked behind Riley's Lexus. He was desperately trying to hide from the snowballs that Graham was barraging him with.

Dawn giggled as she saw Marc and Graham fire another round of snowballs at each other.

"If you two fools damage that car, I'll take it out of your hides!" Riley yelled as a snowball cracked against the Lexus' back window.

"They're crazy!" Dawn giggled as she watched the two men race around the front yard laughing.

"Yeah, it's like they never grew up when they get together," Riley laughed. "Marc's good for Graham. He loosens him up."

Riley looked thoughtful for a moment and then said:

"Maybe a dose of Marc's what you need after all."

"Yeah, it might just be what the doctor ordered," Dawn agreed, her imagination wandering as she thought of spending the night in Marc's bed.

"I think we should make a mad dash before they see us getting out of the truck or we'll be moving targets," Riley said, poking Dawn when he noticed he'd lost her for a minute.

"You're on," she replied, trying to shake the image of Marc looking down at her as she matched the rhythm he was setting for them.

"Just stay low and close to me."

Dawn and Riley jumped out of the truck, slamming their doors and making a beeline for the front door. Just as they reached safety, a snowball hit Riley squarely in the back.

"Get them!" Marc yelled, running after Riley and Dawn.

"Told you!" Riley laughed as he raced through the front door.

"Who threw that?" Dawn laughed brushing the snow off Riley's coat.

"Doesn't matter."

"What's going on out there?" Willow asked as she poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Snowball fight," Riley answered, hanging up Dawn's coat.

"Who's out there at this hour?"

"Graham and Marc," Riley answered, hanging his coat in the closet beside Dawn's and closing the door.

"Without a coat on!" Willow exclaimed as she hobbled to the front door and threw it open.

"Graham Miller, you get your ass in this house this instant or you'll catch your death with this damn foolishness!" She hollered at him. Graham's reply was to lob a snowball at her so that it landed at her feet.

"Fine! Freeze to death, you damn fool!" Willow was laughing as she shut the door.

"He'll be fine Will. The two of them are racing around out there like idiots," Riley snorted. "Let them play."

"Where's Mom and everyone else?" Dawn asked Willow. The house seemed awfully quiet considering the number of people in it.

"They're in the pool. Tristan insisted on showing Grandma and Grandpa all the things her diving coach has shown her."

"Grandma and Grandpa?" Riley asked

"Yep, the girls wanna call Joyce and Giles the same thing Evan does and they figure that since they're his sisters it's their right. Isn't that cute?" Willow replied looking out the window to see if Graham was okay.

"But what do Joyce and Giles think?"

"Mom and Dad loved the idea. My mother has always wanted granddaughters and now she has three! And seeing as how Buffy made it official that you're part of the family again, I don't think you have any choice in the matter. I think I'll join my nieces for a swim," Dawn told him and headed up the stairs to her room.

Riley looked up at Dawn and shook his head at her.

"I hope everyone's that easy."

"Don't worry, the only people you may have a problems with are still in LA," Willow said wrapping her arm around his waist. Noting his confused look, Willow elaborated for him, "Spike and Lindsay."

"And Angel?"

"He may wanna kick your ass, but he won't kill you," Willow giggled.

"Very nice," Riley said sarcastically.

"So why don't you go upstairs, have a shower and change while I find you something to eat," Willow suggested, hugging Riley.

"That sounds wonderful," Riley replied and kissed the redhead's cheek before following Dawn up the stairs.

Riley reached the top of the stairs and headed down the hall towards his room. Opening his bedroom door, he noticed that his bathroom door was closed and he could hear the water running. He smiled as he flopped down on the mattress and closed his eyes. A few minutes later the water stopped and he heard the bathroom door open.

"Graham if that's you, I'm fed up with talking about the case."

He smiled slightly as he felt Buffy's weight settle on the bed next to him. She leaned in and kissed him slowly on the lips. He felt her move so she was lying almost on top of him, her hands running through his hair. Pulling back she looked down at him, his eyes were still closed and he was smiling.

"Damn Graham, if I knew you could kiss like that, I'd have let you kiss me years ago."

"Funny man," Buffy murmured, slapping his chest softly.

"I missed you," Riley said opening his eyes so he could look up into her face.

"I missed you too. Do you realize that this is the first time in almost a week and a half that we've been apart?" she said sliding completely on top of him so she could rest her head on his chest.

"You know you're right. No wonder I missed you so much. What the hell am I going to do when you go back to LA?" Riley asked as he ran his finger over her bottom lip.

"I don't know. I've been moping around all day thinking the same thing. I'm starting to think I'm a little too old for a long distance relationship, and…"

"But I thought Dawn said you made it official today?" he asked confused by her previous statement. Was this the big brush off?

"I did but I never stopped to think how we're gonna handle this. Riley, Evan and I have lives there and I have my law practice to consider, but…."

"So this is it? Things look complicated so you're dumping me and the girls?" Riley interrupted as he tried to push his way up off the bed but Buffy was too strong for him and she pinned him with her whole weight.

"That's not what I was trying to tell you! Will you just listen to me for one damn minute? Don't ever think I'd dump you and the girls! I'd rather cut my arm off than lose you and the girls," she said angrily. "For the last 10 years I have only existed, going from day to day, just breathing, but here…in your arms I'm alive! You do this to me Riley, and there's no way in hell I'll give up on us!"

Buffy got off of him and began pacing the room,

"Honestly? I don't know how we'll manage, but we will."

"So you're not going back to LA?"

"No I'm going back, but Evan's staying here. He's going to need time to recover and that means being here with his doctor, his dad and his loving sisters. And you and I are going to find a way for this relationship to work come hell or high water," Buffy said as she stopped pacing in front of him and kissed him so that he understood exactly what she was telling him.

"So how was Evan? Did they tell you the good news?" Buffy panted as she pulled back from Riley's lips.

"You're…you're just like the dentist, except here it's let me kiss you senseless then ask you a question," Riley laughed, tucking her under his chin so that her head rested on his chest. "About him coming home? Yeah I spoke with Steve when I got there. It's the best news I've heard all day."

"How was New Orleans?" Buffy asked and shifted slightly. As much as she loved being held that way, she wanted to see his face as he spoke.

"Everything went well. I actually had time to go to mass and light a candle for Evan." Riley told her as he ran his hand up and down her back.

"That sounds nice," she said, playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"Wanna have another shower with me?" he whispered as he remembered their shower earlier in Evan's hospital room.

"Not when I have my family downstairs waiting for you to arrive," she answered, although really, she wanted nothing more than to lock the door and join him in his tub.

"Oh, yeah," Riley said disappointed.

"So how did it go?" he asked, shifting them so they were lying facing each other.

"Better than I would have expected. Your daughters are amazing little hostesses. Tristan and Hope have been entertaining them since they've arrived."

"I heard about them asking to call your mom and Giles, Grandma and Grandpa."

"Yeah, Mom was really touched."

"I'm glad to hear that. I'd hate to think they'd just agreed so not to hurt the girls. They've always wanted another pair of grandparents."

"My mother would never do that!" Buffy cried with indignation. "And what's this about Claire not having parents?"

"They died when she was in college, so of course the kids and I never met them. By the way, where's Jordan?" Riley asked knowing his oldest daughter loved company as much as her little sisters did.

"She said she had a project to work on for school and disappeared up to her room."

"Is she okay?" Riley asked, sensing that something was wrong with his oldest daughter.

"I asked her, and she told me she was fine, just a little tired after last night. Wills said she was really quiet through dinner and only spoke to Mom, Giles and Mason."

"That doesn't sound like Jordy at all," Riley said, his forehead wrinkling in concern.

"Want me to check on her again?" Buffy asked sitting up. She had been concerned about Dani before but feeling Riley's apprehension made Buffy more anxious.

"No, I'll go after I have a quick shower to wash the airplane off me," Riley said sitting up next to Buffy.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Willow said she'd find me something."

"Well she better cook for two because my stomach's growling big time! I fell asleep as soon as we got home and missed dinner."

"So it's a late dinner for two then."

"Yup but appetizers now would be nice," she said puckering up. "So kiss me."

Graham came bouncing into the kitchen fresh from his snowball fight, clumps of snow hanging to his sweater and hair. His cheeks were flushed from the crisp night air and he seemed to hum with excess energy.

"Look at you! Graham, you're soaking wet!" Willow exclaimed as he came up behind her to grab her.

"Nothing like a snowball fight to get your juices running," he smiled against her neck before kissing it.

"You little bugger!" she giggled trying to get away from him. "Can't you see I'm busy trying to get Riley something to eat."

"See that was your first mistake," Graham said dropping his arms from around her waist and walking around the counter.

"My first mistake?" Willow replied shocked.

"Yes. If you hadn't supplied me with alcohol, instead of giving me food as I requested…well then I wouldn't have been out playing in the snow," Graham smiled proud of his argument.

"So it's my fault that I wanted you drunk so I could take advantage of you?" she smiled playfully at him.

"Yes ma'am. I don't have to be drunk for you to take advantage of me."

Graham sat quietly watching Willow make up a couple of plates for Riley and Buffy. Sometimes when he looked at her he saw the girl that he'd fallen in love with all those years ago and other times it was the woman she'd grown into and every so often Willow Rosenberg the movie star stuck her head out. It still shook him to his core that she was back in his life. He'd given up on that possibility a long time ago.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, blushing slightly at the intensity of his gaze.

"Nothing, just thinking. Do you know how beautiful our children will be if they look like you?" he said stealing a piece of roast beef off one of the plates.

"Hey!" she laughed swatting at him.

"A little girl with red hair and killer green eyes just like her mama," he said smiling at her.

"Oh really," Willow replied. She was feeling slightly uncomfortable with the direction that this conversation was taking.

"Yup. A house in the country, dogs, a couple of horses...you, me and the kids. Lord, that's what I'd consider a wonderful life," Graham said wistfully as he came to stand behind her so he could wrap his arms around her waist.

"Gee Gray I haven't even thought..." she stammered trying to find a way out of this conversation or to at least change the topic. Moving out of his arms, Willow walked to the microwave and placed one of the plates in.

"Don't worry I know you're worried about your career, but we'll hire the world's best nanny to take care of them when your away...even better... you can take them with you, and I'll fly and meet you on weekends. Hell I'll take time off! I'm sure Riley and Nicole could handle things when I'm away!" Graham said, rubbing his hands together as he planned out their future. Willow's heart seemed to stop beating as she heard how proud he sounded with himself.

"Maybe we could hire Sam away from Riley. She's so good with the girls."

Willow start to choke. Running over he patted her on the back.

"Willow honey, are you okay? Would you like me to get you a glass of water?"

"How about a good stiff drink." She muttered under her breath.

"What was that? I didn't hear you." He asked.

"I said water would be fine." she coughed.

"Wills are you okay?" Buffy asked entering the kitchen, at that moment Willow didn't know when she'd last been so happy to have her friend walk in on her and Graham.

Riley knocked on Jordan's door, knowing from experience that he couldn't just push her door open like he use to.

"Come in," came her muffled voice.

Riley found Jordy sitting on her window seat with the lights off, her little body silhouetted by the moon. Even at 8 years of age it shocked Riley how quickly his baby was growing up.

"Hey, want some company?" he asked.

"Dad, your home," she smiled sadly at him and turned back to look out at the moon

"How's my princess?" Riley asked, kissing her forehead before sitting down next to her and pulling her into his arms. Jordan climbed up onto his lap and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Missing?" she replied sadly.

"Missing? Honey you're right here," he said rocking her in his arms when he heard the sadness in her voice.

"No I mean, missing you, Evan, and…I miss Mom," Jordan said looking up at him, huge tears in her big blue eyes.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry," Riley said kissing her forehead as he rocked her.

"It's not your fault, I just hate it when you go away. I…you…you may not come back like Mom and then what happens to us?" she asked, resting her head on her father's chest.

"Well that's not gonna happen, but if it ever does, you and your sister will go live with Uncle Graham. Remember we talked about that? You told me that's where you wanted to live."

"I know, but we'll need a mom, not just a dad," Jordan cried.

"Oh, well yes, I guess you will," Riley stumbled over the words. When had she gotten so smart… or did it just seem that all the women around him were getting smarter while he was getting dumber.

"Can we live with Buffy?"

"Well honey, I don't know, and why are we having this conversation now? I'm perfectly healthy," Riley laughed slightly.

"Just thinkin' I guess, seeing Evan and all," she shrugged. "Mom went into the hospital and she never came out. Now there's Evan and my stuff may not save him…"

"But we're gonna try right?" he said hugging her close to him.

"Yeah, I know. But what happens if he dies, and so do you?"

"I'm not going anywhere baby," Riley assured her. He wished there were a way he could hold her forever so that she believed him.

"I know… you keep telling me that," Jordan sighed.

"Jordy, I don't plan on leaving this earth of a very long time. I'll be a very, very old man by then, and you'll be happy when I can't bother you anymore," he said tickling her.

"No Daddy…. I won't … be… happy…" she giggled as her tears still flowed down her cheeks.

"You know I'm gonna miss it when you don't climb up onto my lap anymore, you know that?"

"I'll always sit on your lap, no matter how big I get, I promise," she smiled and stuck out her pinky to her father. "Pinkie swear."

"Pinkie swear," he said locking his pinkie with hers.

"So what do you think of Mason?" he asked as she snuggled against him. Riley knew she was tired by the way she kept rubbing at her eyes. Maybe last night had taken more out of her than they had realized.

"He's weird, but funny. I like him."

"That's sounds just like what I said about his dad when we first met. And Buffy's mom and dad?"

"They're really nice, I like them and they said we could call them grandma and grandpa."

"I know," Riley said as he wiped away her last tear.

"I like them all, but Uncle Angel…"

"What about him?" Riley asked, feeling his back stiffen at the thought of the vampire doing anything to upset his children.

"He just seems so sad all the time. Doesn't he like us?"

"No baby, it isn't you. He's just not to happy with me I guess."

"Well don't worry Daddy, I'll protect you. I promised Evan today when we were alone together that I'd do it. Evan doesn't want you leaving him and Buffy because they hurt your feelings," she said with a serious expression on her little face. It almost had Riley laughing out loud but he held it in, knowing in his heart that she meant what she said.

"That's ok Jordy. Uncle Angel and I'll straighten things out."

"I hope so. Nobody should be mad at Christmas time."

"Your right," Riley laughed and stood up, swinging Jordy up into his arms. "Come on, let's go down stairs and say hello."

"So did you really have a project to work on?" he asked as they headed for the stairs.

"Oh yeah, the life of the earth worm!" she beamed up at him.

*****

Riley and Jordan entered the kitchen to find the table packed.

"Riley, I though you'd never get here!" Xander said getting up to shake the other man's hand.

"Xander good to see you again after all these years," Riley said and smiled sincerely at the dark haired man.

"I know what you mean," Xander smiled back at him. He was grateful to see that Riley meant it. Over the years Xander had missed the friendship that Riley had offered him, missed the one person who'd encouraged him to find his own way in life.

"Oh my God Xander! What have you done to this beautiful woman?" Riley laughed as he watched Anya struggle out of her chair.

"It called pregnancy Finn, I'm sure you've witnessed it before judging by the three beautiful daughters you have," Xander growled but winked at Jordan as he did.

"Anya, you look wonderful," Riley said, hugging the beautiful former demon.

"I look like freakin' Barney!" Anya exclaimed, gesturing at her purple dress before she hugged him back.

"Yes but everyone loves Barney," Willow giggled before launching into her own version of Barney's theme song. "I love you, you love me, we're a dysfunctional fam…."

"Enough of that!" Xander said pointing a finger at his oldest friend.

"You haven't changed a bit Riley," Anya smiled taking in the handsome man in front of her and choosing to ignore the witch. "And you've done well for yourself."

"No believe me Anya, I've changed. I have more gray hair than I can count and each one has a name. They're called Jordan, Hope, Tristan or Graham mostly," Riley said ruefully as he ran a hand through his still blonde hair.

Marc snorted and then grunted as Graham's elbow connected with his midsection.

"Yeah but now Graham's mine to worry about," Willow proudly boasted to the room as she linked her arm through Graham's.

"Do the gray hairs go with him?"

"You're just a laugh a minute, aren't you Finn?" Graham spoke up.

"I like your gray hair, honey. It makes you look distinguished," Buffy smiled up at Riley as she wrapped an arm around his long leg.

"So where's everyone else?"

"In the pool or watching. Anya smelled food and came on a hunt."

"And you?"

"I had to throw myself on the food to save some for you," Xander grinned at him.

Buffy smiled at the scene that had unfolded before her.

Buffy and Riley had gotten the kids to bed before Riley actually had to sit down with all their guests. He had managed a quick hello to Giles and a kiss from Joyce before he'd left to put his daughters to bed with their goodnight story.

"Why does it take me almost three times as long to get Tristan and Hope to bed than it does you," Buffy whined, hugging him as they came down the hall towards the family room. Judging from the sound of laughter and music, it was where everyone was hanging out.

"Years of experience and they know who's boss."

"Can I be boss for a day?"

"We'll talk about it."

They entered the room to find Graham playing bartender and Marc DJ.

"Why not put on some Bon Jovi for Xander?" Willow asked sweetly before dissolving into gales of laughter.

"Hey! I was 13 years old, remember? And he had great hair! Man, I wanted hair like that," Xander recalled wistfully.

"Yeah all the girls loved his hair," Graham agreed. "I dated this girl, Beckie Holland and she had a huge crush on John Bon Jovi! She wanted me to grow my hair long and everything! I joined the Marines for a reason, man. I look stupid in long hair."

"Oh I doubt that," Anya replied honestly, as she and Cordelia both eyed the sexy man. Once again Willow had done well for herself.

"I've seen pictures. It wasn't pretty," Riley told her as he entered the room with Buffy.

"Riley! It's about time you showed your face! I was starting to think you were a figment of Buffy's active imagination. I'm Cordelia, this is Wesley and that there as you know, is my very well behaved husband, Angel," Cordelia flashed Angel a warning look as she made the introductions.

"Nice to meet you Cordelia. I've heard a great deal about you," Riley smiled at the beautiful brunette beside him.

Riley thought before turning to shake Wesley's hand.

"Wesley, it's a pleasure as well. I hear through the grape vine you're the person on the West Coast to speak to about demonic events."

"Yes well, thank you for your kind words and your hospitality," Wesley stuttered as he shook Riley's hand. "Your daughters are beautiful. Hope seems to be a real musical genius."

"Her teachers have been shocked at how quickly she's developing. They say she's a prodigy," Riley said proudly.

"She played for us all this afternoon. She's amazing for a 6 year old," Angel spoke up for the first time since Riley and Buffy entered the room.

"Yes she is," Riley turned to meet the other man's gaze evenly. "Absolutely amazing."

Angel knew without a doubt that Riley was no longer referring to his daughter but to the woman that both men loved to distraction at various points in their lives.

"So how have you been Riley?" Angel asked seeing Buffy step up beside Riley. He felt a momentary pang of irritation. Did she actually think he'd harm the man in his own home?

"Well, and yourself Angel?" Riley asked. At Buffy's questioning look, he shook his head a little. There was no need for her to become involved; the two men were handling their differences just fine.

"Looking for redemption all the time," Angel replied, letting his face crack into a slight smile. Everyone in the room seemed to let out a collective breath as the two men smiled and shook hands.

"So Riley, what'll you have to drink?" Graham asked from behind the bar.

The evening went smoothly after that with everyone dancing, telling silly stories and trying to out-embarrass each other. After Joyce and Giles excused themselves for the night, the party picked up a little. Marc and Riley both needed to let off a little steam before their own parents arrived the next day.

The others were dancing and singing along to the music when Riley looked over at Angel leaning next to him at the bar. Riley knew that he and Angel needed to talk, but it wasn't a conversation that ought to be in front of everyone else. Looking at all their friends having a good time, he knew that now would be a perfect time to have their talk. It looked like no one would miss them for a while.

"So do you wanna talk privately and get this over with?" Riley asked, knowing perfectly well that Angel could hear him over the music.

"Lead the way," Angel replied, putting his glass on the bar and following Riley out of the room.

Riley and Angel left the rest of the gang in the family room and led the other man into the game room and closed the door behind them so they wouldn't be disturbed. The cherry wood paneling, leather couches, pool table, jukebox, video and pinball games and bar impressed Angel.

"This sure ain't no Karaoke Bar," Angel said, whistling softly.

"No, I wouldn't put in Karaoke. I embarrass myself enough without trying to sing too," Riley laughed.

"That makes two of us," Angel said wryly.

"So, what can I get you to drink?" Riley asked as he walked behind the bar.

Angel sat down on one of the stools.

"A scotch on the rocks would be fine."

"One scotch on the rocks coming up."

Pouring out two drinks Riley handed one to Angel and picked up the other. He took a long drink before putting it back down on the bar and saying,

"Okay, I know what's on your mind and you're just dying, figuratively speaking, to ask me. So go ahead. Lay it on me."

"All right, I will. You know Evan and Buffy are special to me and not just because Buffy is my ex. You hurt her badly when you walked out on her and I want to know why you did it?"

"Because I thought it was the best thing for both of us," Riley began. "During those last two months we were together, she distanced herself from me. She wouldn't let me touch her and every time I wanted us to be alone together she'd make up an excuse to leave. I got the impression that being with me disgusted her. I thought maybe I wasn't enough for her…or rather that I wasn't dark enough."

Angel shifted uncomfortably on the stool. He knew exactly what that comment referred to.

"That last day, when I went to her dorm room and told her that I had decided to rejoin the Initiative was the hardest thing I'd ever done. She called out to me as I left and it absolutely tore me apart. I almost turned around and went back… but I couldn't. She was my life but I couldn't take the way things were between us. I truly felt she didn't love me."

Swirling the drink around in his glass, Riley continued,

"God's honest truth Angel, if I'd known Buffy was pregnant, everything would've been different. I'd have married her in an instant and Evan would have been raised knowing I loved him and was there for him. Instead, I've missed out on having her be my wife and giving Evan the love and support that he needed. He needed a father in his life and my pride and ego denied him that. Evan should have had someone to do all the guy things with, you know? Someone to teach him how to throw a baseball or tie his first tie. When I think of all the baseball and soccer games I've missed, I hate myself. I should have been the one to teach him about life, I should have been the one to comfort him when he was told he was dying but I wasn't and it tears me up."

Angel noticed tears in Riley's eyes and a part of him felt guilty for forcing Riley to speak about this. Another part of him though, got great satisfaction from the younger man's pain. It was poetic justice in a way for having had to watch Buffy go through the past ten years alone.

"Angel God only knows how I have wished that things had been different between Buffy and I."

Angel reached across the bar and patted Riley on the shoulder.

"I believe you man, but next time you walk out on her… I'm probably not going to be so forgiving. You got that?"

A faint yellow glow could be seen in Angel's eyes as he issued his warning.

"Don't worry. There won't ever be a next time. The only way I'm leaving her again is in a casket! And if Buffy dies first, I'll soon follow her because my life would be meaningless without her."

Angel knew Riley spoke the truth and both men understood that there was no longer any need for jealousy between them. Angel loved Cordelia and his kids and Riley was devoted to Buffy and Evan. Angel and Riley could now put an end to the tension that existed between them.

"I'd like for us to be friends if that's possible, Riley. I know that your going to be a huge part of both their lives now, and...."

"I know what you're trying to say Angel, and I'd like that too. I also want to thank you for being there for her that night."

Angel looked at Riley slightly confused, then it came to him what Riley was referring to.

"I'm just sorry I didn't feel how much pain she was in before that. I guess my own life's pain was clouding our bond. I should have known before she tried it," Angel sighed.

"But you saved her and Evan, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. That and the help you've given her with Evan."

"That was entirely selfish. I loved helping with Evan,' Angel said, shaking off Riley's thanks. "Riley you really missed out on a wonderful experience, but I'm sure you realize that since you have your daughters."

"Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about," Riley said looking into his glass of amber liquid. "It would have been different with a son."

Looking at Riley, Angel guessed there was still something bothering him.

"You're like an open book Riley. C'mon, out with it. What's bothering you?"

"Lindsay. What is he to Buffy and Evan really? Dawn's tried warning me but I need to hear it from you."

Angel looked at Riley then nodded at the pool table,

"This thing work?"

"Yeah. Rack em' up," Riley said, walking to the rack on the wall to pull off his best two pool cues.

Angel racked up the balls and broke in silence as both men watched the different colored balls empty into pockets.

"I'll take solids," Angel, lining up his next shot. He missed and stepped back from the table.

"Look Angel, if this is difficult for you to answer because of your friendship with Lindsay, I'll understand," Riley said, offering Angel a chance to get off the hook. Riley lined up his shot carefully and sunk two striped balls.

Taking a swallow of his drink Angel snorted at Riley's assumption.

" I wouldn't exactly call Lindsay and I friends. I've had reservations about Lindsay in the past, but where Buffy and Evan are concerned, he's proven himself to be trustworthy. He's a wonderful guy but he's a product of Wolfram & Hart. He's ruthless in getting what he wants and he won't stop until does. It's what makes him a great lawyer and he's someone you want on your side when you need help."

Riley thought that there was a 'but' hanging somewhere in the air between them but didn't push. He knew that Angel would get to that eventually.

"Lindsay befriended Buffy right after you left. He supported her in many ways. He advised her when she was in college and he looked after Evan so that she had time to study. He tutored her when she entered law school and was her mentor after she passed the bar exam. He was like a knight in shinning armor for her."

"Yeah, that stuff I know," Riley said, missing his next shot. Talking about Lindsay Macdonald was not going to add to his game tonight.

"Lindsay loves Buffy and Evan. He even asked her to marry him when she graduated from law school. She gave it a lot of thought for Evan's sake but in the end she told him no. She told him she didn't think it was fair to him since she could never love him the way he deserved to be loved. There was some tension between them for a while and then Lindsay met Darla and the tension just seemed to disappear. Lindsay's been with Darla the last six years but she's just a rebound to him. You can tell his heart still belongs to Buffy.

I think Darla knows it and it could lead to a real volatile situation someday but so far nothing has come of it," Angel said shaking his head as he walked around the table looking for his next clear shot.

"So she doesn't love him?" Riley asked as he watched Angel line up his shot.

"How could she when she never really got over you?" Angel said before pulling back the cue for his shot.

"Want another?" Riley pointed to Angel's empty glass.

"Sure," Angel said standing up to peruse the table. "Now Evan… Evan is a different matter all together. You see in Lindsay's mind, Evan is his son. Lindsay practically raised him after all. And as far as Evan is concerned the sun shines out of Lindsay's ass but I think he's gonna have some competition where that's concerned now that you're in Evan's life. For years you're all the boy's asked about."

"Thanks," Angel said reaching for the glass that Riley handed him as he walked around the table again.

"So your saying that if you had to choose sides, you're on Lindsay's?" Riley asked and felt himself growing slightly defensive as he watched Angel sink two more balls in the side pocket.

"No. I didn't say that Riley. I still have my reservations about Lindsay but there's nothing he wouldn't do for Buffy and Evan and in my opinion, that makes him dangerous. His love for Buffy is very possessive. It could even be called obsessive. Every time Buffy started to date someone Lindsay would find some way to separate them. Buffy didn't mind that much because the relationships she got involved in weren't that serious but my gut feeling is that Lindsay's liable to try anything to keep Buffy and Evan to himself."

Angel moved to the opposite side of the table and sunk another ball.

"Truth is Riley, I just don't like the guy," Angel smiled in satisfaction as he sunk another ball.

"What do you suggest I do about him?" Riley asked.

"Well I have to say that there's nothing you can do right now. Just watch your back and be suspicious if something unexpected comes up that requires Buffy to suddenly go back to California. He'll probably come up with an excuse to try and keep her there. She's devoted to him and will do almost anything he asks. I can't stress enough the influence he has over her," Angel moved to stand opposite Riley.

"Do you think he'll try to separate us?" Riley asked, his gaze not wavering a second.

"I can almost guarantee it. Eight ball the corner pocket," Angel said and then smiled at Riley as the ball dropped into the pocket.

Both men stood staring at the empty pool table for a minute, both knowing what the other was thinking.

"Rematch, pool shark?" Riley asked breaking the silence

"You're on. It's been years since I've played pool," Angel smiled slyly.

"I have a feeling it may be years before I get to touch the table again."

"In that case you can break," Angel snorted.

Angel and Riley racked the balls up silently.

"Riley?"

"Yeah Angel."

"I'll help you keep them if I can."

"Thanks," Riley replied, realizing he'd made a special friend in Angel.

"Hey is this a restricted game or can anyone jump in?" Marc asked sticking his head in the game room. Wesley and Graham were close behind him.

"Have any cigars in here?" Marc asked looking behind the bar. "I need to get all the devil out of me before Dad lands."

"Humidor," Riley said, pointing at the table. Turning back to the table, Riley suddenly cringed at the thought of his father's arrival. His cue jumped and he sent the white ball crashing off the end of the table.

"You did that on purpose!" Riley shouted at his brother.