*Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
*99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
*Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.
*Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
*If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
*Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
*I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
*Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder
*I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
*Keep honking…I'm reloading
*I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving
*Sometimes the garbage disposal Gods demands the offering of a spoon
*For sale: One soul, slightly used. Asking 3 wishes, negotiable.
*If we aren't suppose to eat animals why are they made of meat?
*I found Jesus, he was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana
*Lead me not into temptation, I know my way
*A tisket. A tasket. A victim in a casket.
*Today's subliminal thought:
*Wanna see a involuntary reflex?
*We take drugs very seriously at my house
*Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
*If voting could really change things, it would be illegal
*You're too good for him
*No wonder you always go home alone
*A cat will assume the shape of his container
*Attila the Nun - A simple girl pledged to a life of brutality
*Erotic, exotic, and a wee bit psychotic
*I didn't believe in reincarnation last time either
*I feel a random act of violence coming on…
*I'd enjoy the day more if it started later
*I'm a Zen nudist-I'm naked in my own mind
*I'm not really happy, it's just a chemical imbalance
*I'm weird but around here it's not noticeable
*If it works the first time, you screwed up
*Never agree with me, it shakes my self confidence
*Okay, I'm basically evil, granted…
*Panties aren't the best thing in the world, but they're next to it
*Sometimes God thinks he's Bill Gates
*Take a bite out of crime - shoot the bastards
*The voices in my head really like you
*There's that fate thing again
*Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
*Virginity - you use it, you loose it
*Why do good-looking blondes die their roots black?
*Women are meant to be loved, not understood
*Women fake orgasm, men fake foreplay
*Any book worth banning, is a book worth reading
*Beer! Now there's a temporary solution
*Feel free to hurt my feelings. All you risk is my insane rage.
*Human (n): Useful domestic animal popular with cats
*I like where legs go when get together
*I like you, so I'll kill you last
*If you're looking for trouble, I brought enough for everybody
*Madness takes a toll - carry exact change
*Miserable with out you, its like having you here
*Who peed in your gene pool?
*I love animals they taste great
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