interviews1

Have you ever watched somebody die?
Almost. Last time I was in the Met Hotel in London, I was in my room when this guy jumped from the tenth floor and landed right outside my window. I realised about 5 seconds after it happened - I walked over to the window and saw him lying there by where all the air-conditioning units are. He was fully f*****g mangled. And no-one had seen it. I looked up, and could see the chair he'd put it on his balcony to stand on. Then the death squad arrived, and were standing round and just laughing. They've obviously seen this s**t before.

Have you ever slept rough?
Definitely in Sydney a couple of times, when I was starting out. More recently, I spent the night on a rooftop in New York. It was a mixture of not having anywhere else to stay, and a kind of drunken party thing.

Could you kill your own meal?
Yeah, I spent much of my childhood fishing. That'd be classed as a killing.

Have you ever been woken up by a policeman?
No. Oh, hang on. Actually, I don't want to talk about it. Or think about it.

Have you ever worn the same clothes for a full week running?
Yeah - all the time. In Sydney, I used to live in one set of clothes anyway. But I do it all the time even now. Actually, I think I've been wearing these clothes for a good seven days.

Ever had anything live in your mouth?
God - I have actually. It was a witchetty grub I had in the outback. I ate half of him, but I had to spit him out. I just started retching - I couldn't go through with it.

Would you give a young stranger a cuff round the ear for being disrespectful?
Yeah, definitely. The last time I was in the Czech Republic, where I was making 'A Knight's Tale'. We went to a party in an ex-Communist apartment block, and this young yuppie aristocratic Czech lawyer just started being openly very rude to my best mate Trevor. Then suddenly, he turned around and drwled, "You two are f*****g c***s." We just saw red and jumped on him. Trevor comes flying in with the knee... it was a lot of fun. But he f*****g deserved it.

Ever been involved in a bar brawl?
Ha ha - yeah. Again, it was when I was in the Czech Rep. Except it wasn't really a brawl - just close to one. Some drunk idiot was just trying to start something with me, and when I wasn't looking, he tried to come in with a punch. At that pont, Woody - Woody Harrelson, who was in town for some festival - he pushed him back and put up this boxing stance. He was like, "C'mon, brother. Ker-mawn, brother!" The guy backed down - Woody's a big guy.

Have you ever been bitten on the nuts by an animal?
No, I haven't. Although it does sound like fun.

Have you ever thrown up over a relative as an adult?
No, I haven't - but I probably would if my mum's dog bit me in the nuts. And then I'd have an answer for both your questions.

Have you ever ruined a computer simply by pressing the wrong key?
Funny you should say that, but only a few weeks ago, I just pressed this combination of keys, and the screen went black. It just died on me.

Have you ever pushed a cotton bud so far in your ear you've made yourself cough?
Ha ha! Does that really happen? Is it like when some people look at the sun, and sneeze? No, I haven't, but I'll be trying that tonight. I'm gonna have blood pouring out my ears - thanks.

Have you ever hallucinated under the effects of alcohol?
Er, I don't think so. No... not under alcohol, ha ha! But I don't want to talk about that, It'll just come back and slap me in the face.

Have you ever used leaves to wipe your arse?
Yeah, I have, as a matter of fact. I think on the beach, when I was ten or something travelling with my family on holiday.

Have you ever had cause to wear a suit of armour?
For 'A Knight's Tale', I wore one for 2 months - and it actually wasn't that bad. I mean, you couldn't sit down on any chairs, so you'd spend all day either standing up, or sitting on apple boxes.

Ever watched someone have sex?
Yeah, drunken friends of mine. But it wasn't like I sat there and watched them. We were just kind of laughing at them, y'know?

Have you ever chopped down a tree?
Er, I guess so. Not a huge tree though - just a sapling.

Have you ever thought how you might rob a bank?
You'd have to go in all guns blazing, I think. You'd have to - you've got to go in and intimidate and scare everybody. So you can get in and out of there quickly. It would be fun - I'd try and put a bit of comedy into it.

Have you ever been convinced that you're going to die?
Once, when I was surfing in Newcastle just south of Sydney. They were probably the biggest waves I've ever ridden - at least fifteen foot-ers. And I got hit by the lip of one and washed underneath. So I tried to swim up, but I soon realised I was actually swimming down. So I turned around thinking "f*****g idiot", but just as my mouth broke the surface - boom! - a second wave took me under. So now I was really panicking. I struggled to the top again, and - boom! - it happened again. So I just sank, looking up at the surface. I can remember giving up - even thinking of my parents identifying the body, that kind of stuff. But a little voice inside me got my legskicking. And I made it to the surface again - barely - and managed to clamber onto my surfboard and paddle back to shore.