Note: this edition of the text is probably incomplete, because I'm not actually copying it out of a book. Moreover, the version that I remember is slightly different to the original anyway, because when we performed it, we cut bits of it out. I played Orsino, so his bits are the most likely to be accurate. I haven't made any attempt to write it in anything other than prose, so some speeches should be in verse.
ACT I, SCENE I:
ORSINO: If music be the food of love, play on! Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. That strain again! It had a dying fall. O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound that breathes upon a bank of violets, stealing and giving odour. Enough, no more! 'Tis not now so sweet as it was before.
FESTE: Will you go hunt, my lord?
ORSINO: What?
FESTE: The hart.
ORSINO: Why, so I do, the noblest that I have. O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, methought she purged the air of pestilence! That instant was I turned into a hart, and my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, ere since pursue me. What news from her?
FESTE: So please my lord, I might not be admitted, but from her handmaid do return this answer: 'The element itself, till seven years heat, shall not behold her face at ample view, but like a cloistress she will veiled walk, and water once a day her chamber round with eye offending brine.' All this to season, my lord, a brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh and lasting in her sad remembrance.
ORSINO: O, she that hath a heart of such fine frame, to pay this debt of love but to a brother! How will she love when the rich golden shaft hath killed the flock of all affections else that live in her? Away before me to sweet beds of flowers! Love thoughts lie rich when canopied with bowers.
ACT I, SCENE II:
VIOLA: What country, friend, is this?
CAPTAIN: This is Illyria, lady.
VIOLA: And what should I do in Illyria? My brother, he is in Elysium. Perchance he is not drowned? What think you, sailor?
CAPTAIN: It is perchance that you yourself were saved.
VIOLA: And so might my brother be?
CAPTAIN: [can't quite remember the bit that goes here]. I saw your brother bind himself to a mast, and hold acquaintance with the waves, so long as I could see.
VIOLA: For saying so, there's gold. Know you this country?
CAPTAIN: Aye, madam, for I was bred and born not two hours travel from this place.
VIOLA: I'm sorry, I honestly can't be bothered anymore.