- by Owen Morton
Further to my dire warnings about the dangerousness of mairpii which I posted here over a year ago, I have just received new information on this important subject from a colleague of mine who also works on the Committee For The Suppression Of Mairpii, information which we can all learn from. I thus decided to post this new intelligence here.
It has come to the attention of the Committee that, besides the regular breed of mairpus which has caused humanity so much trouble over the past millennia, there is another type of this most horrifying of creatures. A breed which has inspired so much fear and loathing that its name cannot be mentioned ever because of the sheer terror that such a voicing would induce.
But enough about me. The purpose of this article is to inform the readers on the subject of another type of mairpus which the Committee has recently become aware of. The fabled Blue Mairpus, long thought to be merely a myth shared by those who sit round their campfire and swap sinister stories, is in fact a reality!
This development has come as a complete surprise to the intelligence arm of the Committee. It was revealed when the above photograph of a Blue Mairpus was posted anonymously to the Committee, accompanied only by a note scrawled in blood, The Blue Mairpus is alive The envelope in which the photograph and note arrived was addressed neatly, and already stamped, indicating that the supplier was already about to write to the Committee when he or she suddenly encountered the Blue Mairpus which we can only assume took his or her life, at Machu Picchu, the Inca fortress in Peru. What happened next is, of course, slightly unclear, and open to debate. The supplier of information presumably took the photograph with a Polaroid camera, then slipped the photograph into the envelope. As the Blue Mairpus attacked, the supplier remained so dedicated to his or her goals of warning the Committee that he or she wrote the note from his or her own blood, and inserted this into the envelope as well. The envelope was then presumably sealed and the supplier killed.
The sequence of events then gets even more puzzling. There are, of course, no post boxes at Machu Picchu. The supplier must have been at least severely injured there, assuming the photograph and the note were made at the same time (and it is likely that they were, otherwise the supplier would have sent more information). The most likely explanation is that the supplier died at Machu Picchu and dropped the envelope, an occurrence followed by the Blue Mairpus picking up the envelope and taking it to a post box.
There is, of course, the slight possibility that the photograph has been doctored, but the experts at the Committee have, on careful examination, decreed that it is genuine.
This is, of course, all speculation which is, in the long run, irrelevant. The real issue here is that of the Blue Mairpus itself. There are questions to be answered: how does it differ from the more common Green Mairpus? What are its habits? What is its usual habitat?
The answer to the last question would appear to be the highlands of Peru, but the other two seem to be steeped in mystery. We know nothing of its habits other than that it seems to have a sense of public duty which extends to posting the letters of those it has just killed nor do we know if it differs from the Green Mairpus in any respect other than its colouring. Of course, this particular incarnation of the Blue Mairpus seems to have been at a time when all the individual mairpii that constructed it were bound together that rare once-in-fifty-years event. Or so we assume. For it is of course possible that the Blue Mairpus is in its larger form the majority of if not all the time.
We must all remain on our guard. The Blue Mairpus could turn out to be a more dangerous foe than any the Committee has yet dealt with. And, since we know this information, we all are now primary targets for any pre-emptive strike the Blue Mairpus may make