- by Owen Morton
This article is more for the purpose of seeing how long I can spin something absolutely useless out for rather than any other major reason, though of course that could be argued for quite a lot of the other things this website has to offer. However, this one really is pushing it quite considerably, and as such is unlikely to be very long.
If you're wondering exactly what the title means, as it isn't, I will admit, absolutely clear, I will remind you of the Number One single by the Corrs one to two years ago, entitled as it was Breathless. And furthermore, I will direct you to the lyrics in the second verse which go,
It's like a dream, although I'm not asleep,
And I never want to wake up.
The reason I draw your attention to these lyrics is because I want you to think about them rather carefully. They are emblazoned on my brain, as are the lyrics to various other songs, a full list of which would take a very long time, but which include such diversity as Reach by S Club 7 and Hotel Yorba by the White Stripes. But despite these lyrics being fixed in my mind, I have never really given them much thought, until this evening when I suddenly did. I can't offer a reason why I did, I'm afraid; I just did.
But now you have actually carefully thought about the lyrics in question, I'm sure you can tell me exactly what the inconsistency is, as you are all intensely intelligent persons, I'm sure. If you can't see the problem, look again.
The problem is, of course, that Miss Corr claims that she's not asleep, but then says she never wants to wake up!
This would naturally imply that she is, in actual fact, asleep, because if you don't want to wake up, you are generally asleep. But having just claimed that she's not asleep, then we can only assume that she is in fact lying. But what is she lying about? There are several possible interpretations, including one which suggests she's not actually lying at all.
Interpretation #1:
This is the one where a reasonable case can be made that she's not actually lying. She claims she's not asleep, at which point she suddenly falls asleep, and is thus justified in the next line, I never want to wake up. The cynical among you will probably point out that if she is asleep, she probably wouldn't be singing this line at all, to which I will merely reply that she is singing in her sleep. It's possible. I have consulted doctors on this point and they agree that it is possible. So, oh ye of little faith, there is proof for you. Except, of course, I'm lying when I say I've consulted doctors. I haven't done that. But I will. And then they'll back me up.
Interpretation #2:
In this interpretation, we can make a strong case that Miss Corr is lying after all. She is lying when she says she's not asleep, and thus the entire two lines becomes completely clear.
Interpretation #3:
This is another interpretation which stresses the lying aspect of Miss Corr's nature. She is lying when she says she never wants to wake up, implying that in fact, she does want to wake up, which would thus lead us to conclude that she is asleep, in which case she would also be lying about not being asleep, linking in nicely with Interpretation #2.
Interpretation #4:
The whole thing is a massive cover-up, and both lines, including the phrase It's like a dream, are lies. Perhaps it isn't like a dream at all, but in fact more like something much more sinister, like a nightmare, for example. Thus she would be lying when she said she didn't want to wake up - who wants to carry on having a nightmare? - and this links in nicely with Interpretation #3. By extension, she would also be lying when she said she wasn't asleep, because anyone having a nightmare is generally asleep, thus linking in nicely with Interpretation #2.
And I think I've milked this subject for all its worth. A page and a half of a Microsoft Word document on this subject, though, isn't at all bad, in my own honest opinion. Before I go, though, I'd like to make another point.
Who thought that 'nightmare' was a sensible name for a bad dream? Split it up and it goes into two words: 'night' and 'mare'. Okay, as a general rule, they happen at night, but 'mare'? As far as I'm aware, a mare is some form of horse. So, thinking about it, the phrase means 'nighthorse', which doesn't translate in any way as 'bad dream' to my way of thinking. However, I'm really not going to go into it now.