- by Owen Morton
As I'm leaving York University tomorrow to head back home for the summer, I thought I'd best clear out my computer folder, and anything worth keeping I'd put up on here. And so it is that there is only one article today. Church Newspapers may not sound inspiring, I'll grant you, but the stupidity involved in the phrasing of these things is quite impressive really.
So here we go.
These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a little proof-reading would have prevented.
The church is starting a New Young Mother's Group. Anyone desiring to be a new young Mother is to meet with the pastor in his office.
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at The Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning is: "Jesus Walks on the Water". The sermon tonight will be: "Searching for Jesus"
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 pm, Please use the back door.
Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir.
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to help cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Attend this meeting and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm. ...prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off old clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Now Up Yours."