I'm sure most of you have played the game of Picture Consequences, where you draw the head of a creature, fold the page back, then hand it to another person who draws the body, then this is also folded back and handed to someone else, who does the feet. The result can be some fairly entertaining pictures. This game is enhanced when stories are written in this fashion. You don't know what's gone before, nor what will come after. You just write your bit and hand it on. This game is called Disaster Consequences, for some reason.
On holiday in Morocco back in February, my sister Lizzie, my dad Andrew and I played this wonderful game. The products of such labours somehow ended up in my schoolbag, and while searching for Hangmans the other day, I found them. They are funny enough to put up here. I hope they are acceptable.
1. Sugar (Sugar was a cat we used to have) was being a very naughty girl. All day long she had been mauled by Annie. She was then sent away to a boarding school. Then she trotted over to Heathcliffe (another cat), so she shot off across the dining room, and entirely against the tradition of 19th century tragic novels, she managed to marry Mr. Rochester.
2. Toby Spelldragon was having a very bad day, so he decided to go for a blast into outer space. He told him to cuss off and went back to watching Buffy.
3. It was quarter to four and Heath was right fed up. He looked to see who was there, and it was the man from Coldseal. He decided to go away and cry.
4. Jane Eyre was a very poor little girl. She bit Daddy and he wasn't pleased, so she decided to get her own back. She grew up in the boarding school, and eventually became a governess. Heath was rather shocked when she hit him, and biffed him right in the chops.
5. One day Skeletor came up with a new plan, one that would rock the boat in his favour. He was not only annoyed, but disturbed, at the prospect of having to spend a day without food. He decided to make a beeline for McDonalds. He walked swiftly down the road, followed by a selection of the usual lunatics. He began to fantasize about the Great Turnip, and his mouth watered. There was nothing there.
6. One day, Tarzan gave Daddy a call and this didn't make him happy. Naturally, he suspected that the cause of the problem was Skeletor, so he shot himself.
7. Owen was most alarmed when there was a loud knock at the door. All his friends were out playing cricket without him, but he ended up in Coronation Street which made him a bit fed up.
8. Sugar was in a bad temper. She did not get along with her aunt, Mrs. Reid, and told her she was "deceitful". Daddy shouted at her and for a moment she looked sorry. Heath, sitting calmly thinking of sprouts, was the only obvious target. She then fell in love with Mr. Rochester, but she was very pleased.
9. Joseph was rather inclined to go for a ride on his bike. His plan was very simple. He would go to to the Palace and take over the reins of government. He didn't want doggie biscuits and there were no sprouts to be seen, so on he went, down the hill, past the chemical works. Unfortunately, he came up against a sign that said 'No Entry', but then it stopped raining and he got his tins.
10. He Man discovered that something was amiss in Eternia. He came to the conclusion that there wasn't much he could do about it, so he said, "Weasel calling - please try later."
11. It was raining when Heath awoke. This meant that no shopping could be done. He set off down the road in search of excitement. He decided to act right away. What he really wanted was a nice juicy turnip, but - guess what - when he got to McDonalds, he had to turn round and go home again.
12. Heathcliffe went on holiday to Morocco. First of all, he went to the travel agent and bought his ticket. He wanted to know who Burger King actually was, and over which lands he ruled, and that was enough to make his adversary flee in terror.
13. One day, Buffy was eating a hamburger. First of all, she had forgotten the famous words, "By the Power of Grayskull!" She wondered many things and today's thought went to the creation of tropical fruit. Fortunately, there was a vampire right next to her, so when He Man called on his mobile, she decided to let tropical fruit continue its existence.
14. Gillian enjoyed swimming. She would happily spend whole weeks circling her tank. She bit into it, and tomato ketchup flew all over her leather jacket. Them her shampoo had turned her hair green. "Why bother?" she thought. "It's not any nicer than fish food." She immediately leapt into action - she told him to get stuffed.
15. Once upon a time, He Man was walking down the road towards the Palace, when suddenly Skeletor appeared. He Man stopped. Then he went to the airport to catch his plane. Sadly, he didn't pay attention to the flight announcement. Ronald McDonald was hardly likely to know, so he turned in search of the King.
16. She Ra had been having a bad day. Her memory was only five seconds long, so she never got bored. This did not make her happy, so she started looking for a vampire to slay. But when Spirit was kidnapped, that was the final straw. But then she realised fish food was only for fish, and she slew the vampire with ease.
17. Mickey was walking along the vast deserted expanse of nothingness towards McDonalds, but something was playing on his mind. He drew his sword and cried, "By the Power of Grayskull!" He spent a week wondering why Morocco was so cold and all the inhabitants wore kilts.
Okay, so they weren't that good really. But anyway.