1. All persons visiting the website are advised to bear in mind that they should sign the guestbook as a matter of common courtesy. If you don't, I'll be cross.
2. All persons signing the guestbook must not submit any anti-Buffy, anti-Suter, anti-He-Man, anti-mairpus, pro-Lincolnshire or anything contrary to the views of the owner of the site. You will note what some 'clever' individual named A. Nonymous wrote in the guestbook, and you will also note the tongue-lashing I gave him afterwards.
3. If you want to copy any pictures from off this site, you are welcome to, especially since I copied most of them - bar the mairpus ones - off other sites. But the text is copyright and you MUST NOT USE IT FOR YOUR OWN PROFIT, although if you can conceivably find a way of making any profit off this site, I suppose you're welcome to it, because you're so innovative.
4. Be generous to your subordinates, because they might kill you if you haven't been when the revolution comes.
5. Be mean to your superiors, so they will be mean back again and then you can kill them when the revolution comes.
6. Don't watch CBBC, especially not at 16:40 on a Wednesday afternoon, because that's when 'There's a Viking in my Bed' is on.
7. Tick tock, tick tock.
8. Wallow in your own mud; don't use mine, thank you very much.
9. Don't buy car radios from people who look a little bit dodgy who might have stolen it, because the police might catch you.
10. Don't try and fly. You will only be in for a disappointment.
11. Never forget that Shakespeare was quite good at writing.
I will add to this manifesto as I see fit.