- by Owen Morton
Well, first off, I'd best point out that my rant on the subject of Valentine's Day is now declared null and void, on account of just after putting the article up, I received a card (well, an e-card, but a card nonetheless) so I feel slightly more appreciative of the whole proceedings. Actually, it's probably not appreciative enough to let me declare the article null and void, so feel free to follow the advice contained therein after all. If you want to, in which case you are extremely strange.
Anyway, to the advertised subject of this article. I will admit that I approached this film somewhat biased against it. I'm not going to say why, because it will make me seem extremely petty, but just take it from me, I was not anticipating enjoying the film.
And, true to my expectations, I did not enjoy the film. This is because I wasn't able to get in to see it. They sold out of tickets. It's not really my fault, as I'm sure you'll agree. But I had it in mind to write a review of the film, which is exactly what I'm going to do, or at least a review of my experience of the film, i.e. the queue.
The queue for Moulin Rouge was in fact one of the better queues I have experienced recently. I have in the last few weeks been subject to quite a number of queues, for example to get into Toffs, the bus queue, the queue to get books out of the library, the queue to buy things at the shop. So as you can see, I am in fact incredibly well versed in queues, and I hope that you will take me at my word when I tell you that this queue was a really good one.
Under the impression that the 22:00 screening of the film at the Student Cinema would be relatively empty, we made the decision to go to that one as opposed to the 19:30 showing. At 21:15 we sent an advance member of our party to check out the queue just to make sure it wasn't worth starting to queue already. At 21:20 we received an urgent phone call from that member urging us to get there as soon as possible. The queue was already incredibly lengthy. We had to take action!
We left Goodricke B Block as fast as we could, and even ran over to the Physics building where the screening was to take place. We arrived at probably 21:25 and got into the queue. And it was then that the evening began in earnest!
The queue began as many others do, with mere idle chatting to those others fortunate enough to be sharing the experience. But it became gradually more obvious that this was a queue to surpass all others. This was emphasised by the fact that the people in front of us in the queue were sitting in chairs. This is not something you find in any ordinary queue in a post office or in a canteen. This was a real queue. Pure. Undiluted. Concentrated.
The queue didn't actually move for a good twenty minutes, though it did get considerably longer as this time went on. It became so long that it was impossible to count how many people were in it. Just looking down the queue towards its end, an imaginary spot far in the distance, made one go weak at the knees just to think of the sheer majestic scale of it.
The tension was mounting. Something was obviously going to happen soon. The level of anticipation was unsustainable. A metaphorical wave of silence swept the queue, knocking a bird out of the sky as it went. We all waited, breathing heavily. This was one of the queues that one waits for all one's life.
But sadly, it all fell apart towards the end. The conclusion to the queue cannot be said to pay off the build up. It all began to go wrong when a man stood on a table and shouted, "All those with pre-booked tickets, form a queue to the left. Everyone else, a queue to the right. No, not your left. My left."
He had obviously tried to get greedy, to get two splendid queues out of just one. But, as any fool can tell you, if you break something beautiful so you have two beautiful things, you will in fact end up with only one broken, once beautiful thing. And in this case, he did not get even that, because his instructions were so confused that the formerly magnificent queue merely disintegrated as everyone moved forward in some form of mob action. This was a sad end to what had been a perfect queue up to this point.
However, despite the weak ending, I would have to conclude that Moulin Rouge's queue was well worth the time out. At only about half an hour long, it still leaves the evening free for other worthwhile pursuits, and the experience is one that should not be missed. It is a very moving queue, one that will make you laugh, cry and extremely glad to be there.