Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Author: heavenly-vixen aka Ally
E-mail: team_x_4eva@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Michael Guerin, but alas no such luck!
Description: Set after “Off The Menu” – Season 2. Maria is
pissed.
Author’s Notes: This is my little musings on what the writers should have
shown between Maria and Michael in that episode. Hope you enjoy it, please feedback
would be great.
Maria walked into her bedroom gently closing the door behind her. She wanted to slam it, to pick up the closest thing and throw it at the wall just to watch it shatter into a million pieces. She was angry, make that mad. No actually make that unbelievably hurt. But she pushed down the overwhelming urge to smash everything in the house, the last thing she needed right now was for her mother to wake up and force her to talk about her feelings over a cup of tea. Telling her it would all be all right as soon as she had a cup of tea. She loved her mother, but really, tea!
She sighed, rubbing her neck in an unsuccessful attempt at relieving the tension there. She’d had an extremely rough day. No, that’s not right she’d had an extremely tough couple of years, hell even life. But the last couple of weeks and today had just made it unbearable. Maria sat at her desk. She leaned her head on her arms and let the sobs that threatened to wrack her body for hours now escape.
The house was silent but for Maria it was deafening. She kept hearing the same thing over and over again in her head. A little voice kept whispering “I can’t take anymore”. The voice was familiar, where she didn’t know, but it got louder and louder. The day had started off rather normally, but ended any thing but. Then again what is normal when you live in Roswell, New Mexico and know for a fact that Aliens existed? Or that you are 17 years old and you have already had more pain and witnessed more than most people do in their entire life?
She was held at gunpoint today. Which in it’s self is bad enough right? But the horrible truths she learned that day, truths maybe she always knew but never wanted to believe they were the worst of it all. She’d tried her best to relay to everyone what was going on without getting herself killed. She gave them clues, obvious clues, ones that if they had known her at all they would have picked up on immediately. They being her friends, her boyfriend or whatever Michael Guerin was to her. Today proved to be quite the eye opener indeed.
She’d always known that everyone thought of her as the loyal, wacky sidekick to Liz. Someone who would put up with all the crap they could dish out. The one that over reacted, the drama queen, the one that didn't matter. There was only one person who never thought of her like that. Alex. What? You were expecting someone else, Michael maybe? No, Alex was the only one who never thought of Maria like that. And now he was gone, thinking of her lost friend Maria couldn’t help but cry harder. She needed him so much, but he left her, and whomever it was that took him from her was going to pay. That was for sure.
Today had proved to her that her suspicions were right. She wasn’t important to them, she was invisible. They never listened to her, they all completely tuned out as soon as they recognized her voice chopping it up to “oh, it’s just Maria, she’ll only have something ditzy to say”. She wasn’t important enough, or good enough to be listened to. She’d always suspected that she wasn’t good enough, but she never wanted to believe it. She wanted, she wished that for them she was good enough, just this once, even if she wasn’t good enough for her own father.
Finally Maria remembered where she knew the voice. It was her, it was her when she was little. And it was right. She couldn’t take anymore, she couldn’t keep being invisible, and she couldn’t keep being there for others when those same people weren’t there for her when she needed them. Alex was the only person who had ever been there, when she was hurting, he held her when she cried, he smoothed her hair down and whispered that everything would be all right. He assured her that he would always be there for her. And now, she needed him again, but he couldn’t help her, and there was nothing that she could do to help him. She cried harder, if that’s possible.
Maria missed him so much. He wasn’t just her best friend, he was family. She thought she’d die when he did, she didn’t think she’d be able to keep going, she loved him, loves him so much. But then there was Michael, her saving grace. He made her feel safe again. He held her and took as much pain away as he could. Then today everything they held built was shattered to the ground. Not ever Michael knew her, she was invisible to him, while he was everything to her. There was only four people she ever truly loved. Her mom, Alex, Michael and Liz. Alex was gone now, her trust in Liz and Michael gone too, the only person she had left was her mom. Maria thought about it and decided that was the most pathetic thing she’d ever heard as more tears flowed from her eyes, dampening the sleeve of her shirt even more.
There was nothing else she could do; she didn’t have enough strength to do anything but cry. So there she sat, the wacky, up beat Maria Deluca – Teflon girl, crying until she couldn’t cry anymore. And they things were going, that was going to be for a very long time.
TBC…