Chapter 1
Title: Nightmares
Author: Heavenly-Vixen aka Ally
Email: team_x_4eva@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Michael/Maria
Disclaimer: I only own this fic
Description: Maria awakes from a nightmare, now she has to discern between reality
and dreams. Set during Season 3. It starts off a little strange, but I promise
it does end well.
****
Maria DeLuca sat on the back step of her house, gazing up at the stars, thinking about the past year. Her life had changed dramatically. As soon as Billy had showed up everything had turned sour. Her life didn’t make sense. All she’d ever wanted was to love someone so deeply it hurt sometimes and for that person to return that love. She knew that if she ever found it she’d hold onto it so tight so she’d never lose it. She did find that love, she found Michael. So why did she let him slip through her fingers? She sat wondering, but the problem was, she already knew the answer. Michael slipped away because she pushed him.
Maria’s Point of View
I’m the one, who after two years of fighting to get and keep us together broke it off. In the process I did the one thing I promised Michael I’d never do. I broke his heart. Did I do it to hurt him intentionally? A sort of payback for all the times he’d broken mine? I don’t know. I don’t know why I did it. All I know is that I felt lost. Billy had come to visit and he’d stirred up a part of me that I thought had died with Alex, that part of me that dared to dream. That part that longed for something better than Roswell, New Mexico. Why didn’t I realise then that the reason that part of me had died is because I’d found my something better? I found it hiding in Roswell, New Mexico. I found it in Michael.
We may not be destined, but I know that we are fated. At least, I thought we were. I know that I will never love anyone the way I love Michael Guerin. With such passion, intensity and depth. It runs through my veins, it invades my mind and heart. It has come to define me. I am a woman in love. So where is my love? Running away from the FBI. Running away from here. Running away from… me.
I was so stupid. I used to always tell Michael that he had no idea how to love someone. How a relationship worked. Who am I kidding? I am the one who never knew and still doesn’t know. All I know is that I let my love go. I ruined my life, no one else. Oh great, now I’m crying.
For the rest of my life I’ll be stuck on a step staring at the sky pining for my lost love, for my Michael. Michael saved me; he saved me in his kiss. And continued to save me every time his lips touched mine. No one will ever be able to save me from this hell. I will never know the feel of his lips on mine ever again. I will never feel his arms around me. His breath on my neck and his arm draped over my waist as we sleep. I will never hear the sound of his voice. And I’ll never know the beauty of his heart or the intensity of his touch again.
I don’t want to cry. Crying doesn’t help. But I can’t help it. I’m sobbing like a woman in mourning. I am though. I’m mourning the loss of my heart, and now I’m forced into romantic drama. I can feel my mother’s eyes on me as I sit here with my head in my hands, rocking back and forth in attempt at comfort. I know she wants to come out to me, but I don’t want her to. At least she knows that. I can sense that she knows that.
I want to wake up. I feel like I’m lost in another reality, a reality that can’t be my own. I can’t have been this stupid. Someone please wake me up! No one’s going to wake me up are they?
God, why are you doing this to me? Don’t answer that, not like you’re going to anyway, but I don’t want hear it. I already know the answer. No one did this to me; I did this to myself. I miss him so much. I’ve missed him since the moment I walked away. How could I have done that? How could I have walked away? Left him sitting there. I was never good enough for him. He was a Prince and what am I? Nothing, nobody and he was the one who always thought that he wasn’t good enough for me.
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.
“Michael,” I try to call to him as I struggle for breath. I feel my mother’s arms around me. She’s calling to me. I know she’s scared. I’m scared too. I can hear his voice. Michael! He’s calling to me but I can’t find him.
“Michael!” I try to call to him again. His voice is louder now and I can feel his hands on my shoulders, shaking slightly. Oh god Michael where are you?
“Maria, baby wake up.” I open my eyes quickly and he’s there. My Michael. Right in front me, he looks worried, even scared.
“Michael?” He nods and smiles slightly. I reach for him and I’m back where I belong. I’m in his arms. He can heal every part of me with a single touch, my heart and my soul.
“God it was just a dream.” Michael pulls back slightly. I know he wants to look into my eyes, but he doesn’t let go entirely. He still holds me tightly, safe in his embrace.
“What was a dream baby? What’d you dream?” I can see his heart in his eyes. They’re so beautiful.
“I lost you… I dreamt I lost you.” He smiled slightly then kissed me. His lips are so soft against mine. I can get so lost in the softness of his kisses.
“You haven’t lost me Maria, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere I promise.” I smile at him through teary eyes. I have to lower my head though; I don’t want him to see the tear slip from my eye. I guess he doesn’t want me to look away though. He lifts my chin and brushes the tear away from my cheek.
“I love you.” I had to tell him. I can’t loose him.
“I love you too.” I need to kiss him. I need to touch him. I need all of him. I cup his face in my hands and lean in to touch my lips to his. No one else could ever make me feel like this. Once again I find myself lost in his kiss, in his embrace. I’m coming back to reality now and I can remember. I remember calling Michael’s name last night as he ravished my body. I remember him staying for me. I remember the night he asked me to marry him. I remember our wedding; I remember the day, only weeks ago, that I learnt I was carry his child. Our kisses are getting deeper. Michael’s caresses more passionate and lost in this sweet embrace Michael is saving me all over again.