E-mail: _agal@excite.com
Category: Angst/Angst
Authors Note: Any one want to archive, just ask please..
Rating: Pg.-13 or a little R rated/All Conventional couples
Disclaimer: No I don't own any one of them! Happy?
Summary: This takes place in the first season after the white room and half of Destiny only thing is no one gives a damn about destiny anymore than they did before Max was captured. The last few scenes in 'Destiny' after saving Nacedo never happened. These are everyone's thought not on the matter but about what lies ahead.
Warning: *Character Death* , suicide issues

~~**~~

Max's POV

This is the day our entire world came crashing down on us very quietly jarring us to reality from our own lives. But the funny thing is there were no explosions, no men in black reaching at our throats and no immediate emergency of exposure from the Govt. or for that matter any one less important.

No meetings to discuss the up comings. No redefining of roles, rules or regulations of I-know-an-alien-club. After all said and done we could just turn our backs on each other easily enough.

It was like a funeral at the dawn of Sunday, everyone just got out of bed with the last shadow of night and the first ray of sunlight and decided they would 'just leave' for the lack of doing something better. Just like that. We would all leave.

Just Leave. Simple. 'Effective' in terms of exclusions of pairings, friend ships. None of that.

I don't know why though. Last year didn't just go by us all. And after what we went through, someone else should think we would make a closer, more stronger bond. Some thing to lift our spirits to cast us into some sort of divine shadow of light at the end of a once in a while rain bow in Roswell, New Mexico. But it wasn't. And the more the year went by us and the months rolled on I kept losing some part of me to that rainbow we were all trying so hard to see.

What the hell were we all trying to see anyway?

How far you could push one person or a group of 6 kids combined nearer to the edge until they finally decide to look down a cliff and beyond life? Move on with a different direction and different attitude every time you break your heart over love or one promise to a friend, family? Then relive each moment and there consequences to our choices good and bad both in favor?!.

Or was it to test the ability of a human brain to cope with disastrous situations… till neither one of us no longer cared what happens to the other?

What's the difference really? And who the hell gives a damn about it any way now ... After that stupid son of a B*tch Michael finally bailed on all of us and died.

He was fucking stupid alright!, only a total idiot could aim to kill an FBI agent and end up being struck by his own powers when they hit a mirror instead of his intended target. Fucking stupid!

What's even funnier I can't blame him...not really.

You see I spent some time obsessing about it or even re-enacting it in my own mind, the 'entire afternoon' after they rescued me from Pierce? . I know what Michael would say if he were watching me.

"Just come off of it Maxwell, I've made my decision and there's not a fuckin thing you could do to change it. So live with it."

And I know he's watching. The Fucker.

He would have still died if not by his own useless abilities but by Agent Pierce. After all it was either Michael's incredibly uncontrollable powers or Pierce's gun going of on one of us, And he must of have thought that he doing some sort fucking good to us by laying his burden off of us when he did.

Neither of us ran for cover then, except when Sheriff Valenti put four bullets in Agent Pierce we stood staring at Michael afraid to move at all. Michael and Pierce both dropped at the same time.

After the shooting and shouting died down it became really quiet we all formed a small circle around him, it was slow like trying to walk through miles of sand. I don't think any of us was breathing too well. I could practically smell the burnt flesh on Michael. Liz turned away and vomited. Maria threw herself ahead of me kneeling in front of him taking his head to her chest I thought she would cry. She did but she was singing to him softly with closed eyes. This song I've never heard before. Everyone was scared. I wasn't.

I was angry. I didn't have time for this! I had to get Nacedo and the others back safely to Roswell I didn't have time for Michael Dying right now!

He was so still. One hand over the heart and the other outstretched reaching out for something. Maria?...what right did he have to reach for anyone? What fucking right did he have to leave Maria or any us alone in the middle of this.?! He had none but Michael was always the one for a disaster wasn't he?

Then the sheriff was rambling on about Pierce having his gun. Which made no difference or indifference to me I couldn't understand a single word he was saying..i wanted to see something else not Michael dead on the ground of a place I worked for months. But I kept staring at him.

I heard faint shuffling and Maria singing to Michael. Isabelle was crying deafeningly behind me or in front of me god knows because all I could see was Michael lying dead on the floor of the UFO Museum I worked. Isabelle was crying. I wasn't.

Suddenly Tess was in front of me touching Michael's hair then gently running a thumb over his forehead and brow and then she started crying too, Tess doesn't cry. Why was she crying now?!.

Another shuffle and either my mind was playing tricks on me or there were more moans and cries of shock I didn't move away from Michael and Maria's image.... I'm just not sure that I could move at all right then. Some familiar voices in the back ground echoed simultaneously
"Kyle!..."

Kyle? Where did Kyle come from he wasn't with us. He wanted nothing to do with us. He always wants to hurt us. Why was he bothering us now?! Michael could have been an arts major that was the only ability he had. He could have gotten a scholarship and gone to college with us. Everyone was crying. I wasn't.

Some one was dragging me. Or more than one person, I don't know. I was still staring at Michael and Maria and she was still singing to him. Isabelle was still crying loudly and I was still mad at him...but I was dragged roughly out of Michael's view and I felt someone's hand take mine and put it over some thing firm and warm something that was breathing
shallower by the passing seconds. I looked down and saw some one that reminded me a lot of sheriff Valenti. Only he was bleeding under my hand.

So much blood. Michael didn't even bleed.

Even in the haze of shambled and loud voices I could hear someone crying in my ear
"Please save him Max, Please"

I wanted him who ever it was to shut up because I was starting to feel focus blind as if the only image I could see were Michael and Maria. Why the hell is she holding on to him doesn't she know the bastards left her for good this time.?!

I turned to tell her just that and then it was as if I was snapped back to reality. I could see everything again there was a hand tightly holding on to my shoulder a gentle pleading in my ears. Sheriff Valenti was crying and gesturing to the ground, then I felt the something sticky
and warm under my hand the smell of copper hit my nostrils seeing Kyle under me trying to reach out to someone... Some thing inside my stomach spasmed and catapulted, I wanted to turn away, retch. But the Sheriff kept insisting I save 'his boy'.

I can't save Michael what's makes him think I would even want to try and save Kyle. But I don't really know what happened after that because I felt the world tilt slightly after a bright flash of light and I fainted there was too much crying, too much shouting. And Kyle's blood was on my hand and knees, I wanted to throw up but I still had to save Nacedo...

A gargled mixture of crying, shouting voices kept spiraling down my brain through my ears.

When I finally came to the next time I was in white. I was trying to find that image of Michael and Maria on the floor again but I couldn't all I could see was white...I wanted to bolt right out of bed but it was comfortable feeling under me and my head felt too heavy lift right away. For a moment I thought, that maybe I was still in the white room because when I looked up Agent Pierce was looking down at me silently it was like waking up from some dream I couldn't remember.

But wasn't Pierce dead? Sheriff Valenti shot him right after...right after Michael died...I was beginning to think it had all been some sort of horrible dream when I felt Pierce's hand on me apparently I'd tried to move. And I knew my mind wasn't playing tricks on me when Tess stepped out from behind him looking beautiful, tired ...I must have used his name or Tess's because she came to my side and explained that the man wasn't Pierce and that I was in a hospital.

I closed my eyes and opened them again. Tess was still there with some one that looked like Pierce.

Tess held on to my hand it was heavenly cool against my abnormally warm one. I mumbled something I couldn't really hear myself. It was Nacedo not Pierce. And he was isappointed in us. I wasn't quiet the leader he was hoping me to be and of course Michael. But since the harm was over for now all that mattered was getting us back home.

Michael was dead.

Nacedo resembling Pierce was mimicking his behavior from the white room, paced around in the small room hands behind his back telling me I was NOT suppose to talk about Michael or him dying with 'the humans' or anyone else because no one else knows Michael is dead except me, Tess, Liz, Alex, Isabelle, Maria, Sheriff Valenti and Kyle maybe...was Kyle alive?.

We were suppose to keep his death hushed up and tell anyone, who asked about Michael that he'd left town. And since no one ever really did give a Damn about Michael Guerin we were suppose to keep our mouths shut. All this while he'd been talking I kept staring at the ceiling and Tess's hold on my hand was getting tighter for some reason.

He talked in varying tones of annoyance and shame about how Michael had the potential but ultimately no direction or future in ruling a planet second hand. It was probably better this way-Michael dead- besides his powers would have never developed in that direction or it would have taken too long to subdue him to sensible thinking and better control.
Besides Nacedo never did have patience for our human side. But Isabelle and me we were made to survive and rise above our weak human counter parts.

I slowly rested my gaze on the stern, calculating stature Nacedo had chosen to adopt for the time being. And I smiled. It was a slight lift at the corners first. Then it broke out into a full-fledged smirk alleging defiance. His expression became stony and human blood rose up to his forehead threatening a bulging vein on his forehead to explode. He was waiting for me to agree with his evaluation on all of 'us'...So I did.

"Fuck you, Nacedo...Fuck you"

For a moment he just stood there and I decided he would explode but he smiled then...a slow, casual smile spread over his lips, or Pierce's lips and the smile got wider as he got closer to me. Tess moved away as he came to my side leaning a hand over the pillow he stroked my hair gently with the other hand.

"Are you sure Max?" he asked me delicately. And it wasn't a challenge because I knew what he was doing right then he was letting me know... How he had already fucked every single one of us. None of us was going to talk about Michael. No one would know he was dead except us and we weren't going to tell anyone because the moment we crossed that line Nacedo would come down to the level he really is and he'd already made sure none of us even thinks of 'talking'. I don't know how but I just know.

He's still smiling while stroking my hair and Tess has tears leaking out of her already swollen eyes. I wanted to tell her to stop crying that She didn't even know Michael, I was tired. And to stop rubbing her eyes because she was make it worse. But I couldn't really do that. Though I managed to look past her and see Isabelle in the doorway looking like a
lost bird she slowly put a hand up to the not too ugly claw marks on her chest the other hand on the red mark on her cheek. Her eyes looked wounded and empty with loss.

I understood though that she wasn't afraid.

Nacedo's voice disguised as Pierce's came to me again "You're our leader, Max..." he drawled then kissed the side of my temple un affectionately and got up I was still looking over at Isabelle and wondering whether Kyle made it. When he continued walking around to the center of the room his heels giving a steady tap on the sterile hospital tiles. He
stopped at the door way...

"Our king..The one"

Before the tears came I snorted and then guffawed my way into full-fledged laughter. I laughed at Him, at Nacedo thinking that the whole one-sided conversation was pointless...Michael wasn't killed because of something he did or couldn't do. He got killed because of a stupid mistake, it could have happened to any fucking one of us! This wasn't about any fucking counterparts of ours!.

His earlier smile returned and diverged to a small curve "You will adhere, to the rules and our principles whether you want to or not Max...you will be the king. I will make you rule" it was both a gentle, hardening and promising.

I laughed even harder when the tears rolled down the sides of my cheeks...Nacedo smirked at Tess. I was howling by the time he stopped in the doorway by Isabelle and touched the side of her face and her abdomen. She didn't move but closed her eyes as he leaned in closer to her face turning her head and whispering something in her ear. When I ran out of the air in my lungs the laughing subsiding to sobbing I could see he'd left already, Isabelle was still there with open eyes Tess was standing far away hugging her self. They gave me a feeling of Deja Vu all over again and I was crying on that comfortable bed.
Clutching my fists tightly by my sides. Tess and Isabelle stared at me blankly for a moment until I reached up a balled fist to wipe away the tears or I tried.

Because I was tied down.

My fists and ankles were tied to the bed. I looked up again to see Isabelle coming to me and leaning down to hug me. She loosened the straps on my hands and lay down by me like so many other times when we were kids and she knew I was afraid.

Sobbing subsided, I don't' think she cried maybe expect for some dry sobs we breathed in a gentle rhythm the moment was blank but not completely. I felt her and she could probably feel me too. I let her slip a hand into my own and held on to it not too tightly because I had to let go soon. She was leaving she didn't have to say it I already knew it.

We must have fallen asleep or I did. Because the next time I woke up she was gone and I was clutching my fists once again tightly. One of them felt balled around something hard I unclenched it and saw a thick silver ring roll off of my palm and spin off on the floor before falling on the ground silently.

I knew that ring...I've seen it before on ...Michael. On his thumb. Isabelle must have taken the other ring. Michael always wore two silver rings. Thick and carved. He must have made them himself. I reached down for it but remembered the straps. Before I could look up a small hand reached down under the bed and picked up the ring. Tess. She was still
here.

After giving back the ring she informed me that Nacedo and Sheriff Valenti buried Michael in some remote part of the desert in a shallow grave. We'd all tried to heal Michael, all of us. Even me only I don't remember it. We were at it for the rest of the evening with the stones in the cave through the night. Tess tells me I drained myself of power but I never stopped trying to bring Michael back until losing consciousness.

Tess went to save Nacedo with the Sheriff alone because no one seemed to be willing to come or if they were they'd forgotten Nacedo still had to be saved. After she used the stones to revive Nacedo he changed himself into Pierce and after inspecting my condition he told them I wouldn't be coming around for more 24 hours now and that we had to make it look like some sort of accident had occurred to force me into the kind of shock I had been in.

She told me I've been here for five days. 5 days. I woke up after five days. My mind racing.

Where's Liz? When I looked at Tess from the ceiling she must have known who I was going to ask about because she stared at me and then the ground quietly.

"where's Liz?" I croaked why isn't she here?.

Large tears were blotting her eyes as she replied "your parents are outside Max...they think you tried to kill your self. They found the anti-depressants"

I was going to ask her about Liz again but shut up completely. It explained the straps. I clenched my hands again as Tess dashed out of the room. Almost as soon as she left my parents walked in looking grim.I'd bought the anti-depressants when no one was looking, after we found the small camera in Michael's apartment just couldn't sleep or do anything any more that came close to relaxing not that I ever did. But the stress had grown since then. So I decided to keep them around and not become an addict because I was pretty sure they didn't affect me at all. Just for the sake of feeling normalcy.

Mom and Dad sat opposite from each other on either of my side and after a brief period of thin lipped silence they both broke out into a flurry of questions "Are you out of your mind", "Haven't we done enough for you?", "What other drugs are you on?" and lastly "Do you know how much you hurt us?..or your sister?!"

They seemed to have come completely prepared but I guess they weren't prepared enough to see me laugh at them. I couldn't really stop myself. Parents were so naive, just like kids. They ask questions and demand answers. Then panic when they can't fix something.
Like when Dad ran off to fetch the doctor while mom stayed by my side mournfully praying to god while I laughed some more. The doctor couldn't do anything much but maybe silence me with threats of electric shocks and a sedative. I would have laughed at him too but I fell into deep sleep once again. I stay at home now, I should go to school so that everything looks normal but I don't want everything to appear normal because it's not and it
never was...for some reason the hospital released me the very next day I woke up. Maybe they were getting tired of my laughing fits. They called it a 'fit' I didn't.

The Sheriff and his Deputy came by a few days ago. To question me... About Isabelle. She's been missing since the day I woke up. It's one reason Mom and Dad hadn't come around and bothered me. Sheriff wanted to know if I'd seen her after I woke up. I didn't say anything expect idly stare at one of dad's pen on the dinner table. I drained all my energy into a rock that didn't do Michael any good but if I hadn't... I would have had a good shot at drilling this pen into the wall in front of me the only other problem if any is that the Sheriff's head was in the way.

He must have been talking for a long time because he sighed loudly rubbing his forehead and then turned and softly told Deputy Hanson to leave us alone. He did leave through the kitchen door after staring some more at me. I snorted silently...

Sheriff Valenti put aside the empty mugs of coffee and spread an arm over it I could feel his uncertainty and fear as he hesitated to come up with a legible question. That and his fear as he struggled to put a shuddering hand on my shoulder.

"What's going on Max? Where are they?"

I was thinking how a person's eye actually tell you what he were feeling, thinking and plotting. But Sheriff Valenti wasn't plotting anything or feeling particularly good both his eyes were Grey and blood shot showing how sleep less he has been since...since Michael died. But there was something else... I've always felt Sheriff Valenti to be a strong man, he's probably seen more dead then we ever would and Michael was probably just another sacrifice in justice...it was hard to tell though.There was still something else...

"Where are they Max?"

I knew who he was talking about when he said 'they' he was talking about the rest of us.

I knew but I still asked anyway.

"Who?"

Maria's been missing from the second day after they buried Michael. Isabelle followed up the second week and Alex immediately after that..

.And you already know about Liz" he finished.

My eyes darted around the room easily suddenly noticing that for the past few days Roswell Daily hasn't come home or if it has Mom or probably dad kept it away from me they haven't even switched on the TV and usually busy themselves with worry for Isabelle or checking my blood pressure.

" I don't know... what about Liz?"

His jaw dropped open apparently he thought I knew...I think I did, faintly but I still wanted to hear it from him...

"I..Max I...I'm...maybe I shouldn't tell you...you're..i should go" he got up barely keeping from knocking over the chair I got up and moved to block him as he tried to leave rambling mindlessly about what I've been through and how it could get worse if I knew. But he didn't know that I needed to be sure that I didn't have a responsibility that some one
wasn't waiting for me to make a decision for them. That I didn't have to worry about someone else being in danger for me. I wanted...I wanted it to be over.

So I stood in front of him and crossed my arms "Tell me…" I urged softly. He was looking for a way out of it his eyes darted around anxiously in search of escape I might have had built up some of the lost energy and a little remnant of power because the coffee mugs on the table exploded. Sheriff Valenti almost lost his son, I lost Michael completely and forever I had a fucking right to know!.

He wasn't really worried about me hurting him, like I said it was hard to tell with him. I saw it then, that something in his eyes was fear all right. Fear for Kyle. That he might become like 'us' … that he might leave too. That's what he was here to know I could tell he was
searching my eyes for that answer. How the fuck should I know whether Kyle was going to leave or not?!….and just how the hell should I know where the rest of them are all I knew was what everyone else already knew. That they were gone. They left. Only difference was I knew that were going to leave and other people didn't.

"How's Kyle?"

He stares at me for a fraction of a minute looking scared as hell

"He's...You saved him Max...i owe you my life..i want to help you, all of you!. Just tell me where they are before it's too late Max...we can still help them!"

I didn't respond...but i might if he tells me about Liz...there's nothing to tell really expect maybe that Kyle wasn't really a part of anything, of 'us'. But i felt desperate for it to end.

The sheriff pleaded with me not to make him tell me..just like he pleaded for Kyle's life. He felt the fear strongly, he worried that i had done something to Kyle. Something to change him?.

"Is Liz gone?..."i asked finally, i was feeling tired i just wanted to be sure. Sheriff Valenti finally gave in with a guilty look on his crease filled face.

"She killed her self Max...i should have seen it coming...but i never thought.." he stopped again in mid ramble "Where's Isabelle Max?...maybe we can help them all...trying to save Michael did something to all of them...maybe we can bring them back before ....before they do something wrong."

Those were the words i was just probably waiting for to drop down on my knees and start another laughing fit.

"Jesus, oh Jesus....Max?..i so sorry."

Who did he want to know about? Alex? Maria? Isabelle? I couldn't tell him where they were I couldn't tell him where Isabelle was, I didn't know what plane or bus she'd boarded. Whether she was alone or with someone else. Would she call?. Was she out of Roswell already?...I don't know, I don't know anything except that she's alive that she's still
breathing and i can still feel her not nearby but i know she's out there some where.

I kept remembering Tess's eyes, how they watered up when i asked about Liz. She probably already knew something...where was Tess?

Sheriff Valenti panicked and called my parents in. They were just waiting to jump on me with some sort of drug to put me to sleep...i could have run and locked myself up in my room or something...But i was too tired. I Iet them take me up stairs and put me to bed under those comfortable covers of mine.

Liz killed herself. She was too scared of Nacedo. Michael was dead, no one else knew about it. Isabelle, Maria and Alex were missing, every one knew... and i was asleep for the rest of the day, My parents made sure of it.

I passed Liz by a week ago when i was first coming back home from the hospital. She was standing outside the crash down without her uniform without hope, leaning against closed double doors her head tilted to a side. A blank but faintly determined look on her color less face, i was close enough to see the death in her eyes...they were all un-knowing and Grey. I also knew Nacedo had already gotten to her.

It was too obvious with Liz, She could never hang on to both normal and Alien life at the same time so she gave in to coward ness. Before Nacedo could come back and finish her she killed herself.

But there was still something else about her...

Isabelle would have left right after Liz was put under ground, After Michael died but i guess she waited for me to come around. Alex left probably more because of Isabelle than Michael or having to keep quiet about him or our Alien ness. Nothing else was holding him in here Roswell except Isabelle. When she left there was nothing left for him to stay
here for.

Maria?...She loved Michael, She probably even knew some day something would happen to Michael, which must be why she fought with him all the time. Because she knew he was going to be the first one to leave in all of us. Maybe she lost all of her balance in trying to bring Michael back because i couldn't really feel her out there...i felt Isabelle and can still feel her, Alex, Tess. Kyle a little, i did make a connection with him after all. I can't feel Michael or Liz. I don't even dream about Liz anymore...

Maria ... i can't feel a thing. Maybe Maria's gone too.

But there's still something else about her...

I see Tess go by everyday to school she keeps walking after a glance at me. I don't see what she has to stay in Roswell for?...Why didn't she just leave, I'm curious. Does she still think me and her will be together someday? Is she waiting for me to leave?. Is she too scared of Nacedo to leave because he would be probably the only one to know where to
find her if she ever left. He's already gotten her but this time i don't think he would be able to tell where any one of them are, even Tess. Which is why i stand in the window to see her go by every day.

She doesn't come close enough for me to see her eyes, which is why it's hard to decide why she's still here after 2 weeks...when everyone's left.

Kyle comes by some times, he stands by my window and watches me, he even follows me around when i wander around the town at midnight..i don't know why though he never says anything to me he just keeps watching me intently walk around the crash down trying to see inside..Not to see Liz...i know she's dead. I just want to be there again you know?...back
in that time the moment. I even went by her grave at midnight because mom and dad if they knew they would never let me...I'm lucky they don't check up on me every night.

Kyle even follows me in his Mustang when I take the jeep for a drive into the desert just for a while. But the desert makes me restless now, so I try getting close enough to the pod chamber and come back home, climb through my window and crawl under the comfortable covers. Some times Kyle parks his car in front of my window to watch me or he just leaves.

When I stand in front of Liz's grave in the grass i don't think about cursing my luck, my fate or myself. I don't cry a drum full of tears and moan for Liz to come back to me or talk to her and tell her how much i loved her and that i could never be the same again or that i would want to buried right next to her because we were suppose to be soul mates.
Instead i think about how Michael just managed to screw every one up with his small mistake and how i never got to be here at Liz's funeral or how Michael never got to have one because no one gives a damn about him or even knows he's dead. The loser bastard.

Michael's been reported missing by the Parker's since he was an employee of thier's. It was on the radio when i switched it on.

'4 missing teenagers, one's taken her own life...scenario is becoming suspiciously possible with foul play'

I laughed loudly at that one.

It felt strange to hear that Michael's missing. Not strange, it just sort of made me angry because in a way I knew where Michael was, he wasn't missing. He was dead and buried somewhere in the desert. I didn't see it happen, see where he was buried so I guess I don't really know where he is. Maybe that's why I go to the desert day after day with his ring
on the dashboard and Kyle Valenti's car in my review mirror...to try and feel him out there.

I look at myself in the mirror and talk sometimes. I think I see a little bit of Michael in me too....I figure if I could throw out the counting cows CD and listen to Metallica and Eminem for a change...add spiked hair and the ring on the thumb I'll be almost like Michael...... Yeah I think, I could be like Michael.

I take the small bottle of Anti-Depressants out from under the floorboard and swallow two and look into the mirror and tell myself I'm not an addict. They don't really affect me.

But there's more too. When i look into the mirror i see an expression on my face which was familiar to me only while Michael was alive and you know what? it's the same expression i saw on his face everyday from the last 11 years now i see it reflected in my mirror from my own face. What is it? Whats the look?...hooded eyes, pursed lips, stubborn gaze. Brooding shoulders...

Is that how he felt?... All the time. Did Michael always feel like I felt now?. Is that why he was the first one to go?...i don't know, not really but maybe I'll get my hair spiked someday...

It's Saturday, I took a bath, watched the news, took anti-depressants, ate cereal from the box, shaved, kissed my parents good morning just smiled when they asked where the ring on my thumb had come from. Took the newspaper from the table pulled my bag over my shoulder and announced I was going to school... there were cheers, back patting and promises of a better future, then I left the house for the first time in 3 weeks.

I leave the jeep where it is and walk along the route I see Tess takes everyday when she passes me by...The trail leads from behind the town right into the desert, I just found that out. When I catch up with her she doesn't look to surprised at all just a little startled because I clamped a hand on her shoulder...We walked in silence looking at each other once in a while acknowledging presence of one another.

Tess. Her eyes were empty there wasn't any air of destiny, determination in her eyes and she somehow reminded me of a demolished building with shattered windows.

The sky was Grey and we both turned around to look behind us and saw Kyle Valenti following us, slowly, but he was getting there...

His Mustang wasn't anywhere in sight, when he caught up with me and Tess he shoved his hands into his pockets walking on Tess's other side and asked if 'it's ok for him to come with us?'

We murmured our OK's and walked on with our heads bowed to the sky.

Kyle. He hasn't changed much. He'll leave maybe for a while...but he'll come back. Like I said Kyle's not one of 'us'. He never really was, until now but there's something about him apart from the fact that we were some sort of blood brothers now that I healed him. Besides Nacedo hasn't come to him yet.

I was actually thinking about the time when Tess and Kyle met each other first ...after that they were both waving at each other constantly, I noticed that. But in the last 3 weeks when they crossed paths in front of me they never looked back at each other twice...then again I didn't either. At them or any one else for that matter.

I remembered the last time me and Kyle walked together was when we both got drunk, he nodded a look in my direction as if he were remembering it too. We weren't in control of our minds and it wasn't exactly a controlled evening but it was significant and there was a moment. And he looked a grateful.

It's almost as if without Tess some sort of emotional dimension of a shape wouldn't be complete, when I was coming to the desert few nights ago with Kyle right behind me it was difficult just to get to the pod chamber. That was midnight, nevertheless I felt restless all those times. But now that Tess was here with Kyle and me we'd walked past the pod
chamber in complete silence, never looking back at it.

At first me and Tess were in the lead but she stopped walking and tapped my arm, I understood she'd lost the connection she had been trying to find everyday she'd come closer to but not close enough to ... find...him?

Is that where Tess went everyday instead of school?...to find Michael?...I was going to say something to Tess but Kyle interrupted

"Uh, I know where he is"

I looked between Tess and Him and realized Tess looked as surprised as I felt but we followed his lead near the reservation by the time we got there it was evening, but the sky was still Grey a darker Grey, Kyle explained while we were walking on that after I saved his life he had in fact gone after his father and 'the other guy' when they loaded Michael
into my jeep at dawn and drove to the reservation and buried Michael there.

He said that 'the other tall guy who was supposed to be the bad guy' suggested that it was a good idea to bury Michael where so many other dead of the tribe in the reservation laid buried after death. Point being no one would ever find him among so many other graves. It was perfect place to bury someone you or anyone else didn't give a damn about.

The rest of the way Kyle was quiet, we took the long way around. I don't know why but I just felt like walking on and on Kyle seemed to understand too because when we reached a three way fork road one of them directly leading us to the reservation the other one closer to Nevada but after that road was over you could take a turn for the reservation
easily enough, that or to Dallas.

The third road I wasn't so sure about. There weren't any signboards along the way, I guess we just knew. One of the reasons we were all so quiet were because we were getting closer to him... I could feel it. We weren't exactly as close as almost, but we were getting there. There was more...I was smiling, not lunatic fringe smile...

There's a less than raw slit cut on my chest from the special unit and it'll probably leave a scar, I'm glad Nacedo didn't heal it. I want to keep a reminder of what I almost lost getting myself into and what I lost forever instead.

Tess was a little behind me and Kyle. We both held back a little and matched pace with her once in awhile, the important thing was that she was with 'us'. But I don't think any one of us was tired or coming near getting tired because Kyle still had to go back, Tess I don't know about. Myself I just wanted to keep on going, Besides it was Sunday tomorrow...

I'm sure Michael personally would not have minded being buried here, by the time we reached his grave the sky was more than a faintly thick black, the moon was full, chrome like and the stars looked like they were actually spreading out over the entire sky. Winds were cooler and other than that the land was mostly barren and deserted. I think the nights
in a desert fall quicker then normally. Everything just becomes darker by the moment.

Kyle led us up several strangely marked graves, but none of them had any dates or any name, they were all individually marked I think that was enough. There was a short wired meshed fence around the land, it was jutted out, large and you know? It sort of stood out. Away from the actual civilization.

Kyle seemed to know this place well, too well and I wondered just how many times has he come here already?

There was only one grave that was unmarked, among being unnamed or undated. Kyle stood aside. Me and Tess stood there motionlessly. Now that we were here I didn't know what to do...This was Michael. He was buried here 3 weeks ago. I should have been here. I gripped the Michael's silver ring tightly I hadn't known I had it with me in the first place. I
felt Tess's hand slip into mine.

"We know where he is now Max...it's ok..." I loosened my grip on the ring and tightened my hold on Tess's hand.

"I want to be there Tess, I want to be there..." in that moment.

She looked up at me and nodded quietly pulling off a backpack. Liz's grave hadn't been beautiful..it was a Grey stone simply engraved with a name and date I didn't wonder why, because her parents probably weren't proud of her any more.

Maybe I don't know I haven't seen Mr. and Mrs. Parker around lately, once Mr. Parker went by me and gave me this look...like I shouldn't be there or something, like I was some sort of ghost. I think some day I'll engraved Liz's head stone with a closed white rose.

Kyle was panting hard and trying to shove a boulder in the general direction of Michael's grave. He must have pushed it all the way from discarded rocks lying around a nest of mountains not too high. It had an open cave mouth. I decided to help him with it not really knowing what it was for?

He told me in mid shoves that he always thought that boulder's were Michael's thing. He was trying to mark the grave. But we both stopped when Tess stood in front of us. Kyle made a crack that we couldn't very well move the boulder any more than we are right now if she stood in front of it. I smiled a little at that and looked back at Tess she pulled out
an amber glowing rock.

And I remembered it. It was the rock the one I drained my powers into while trying to bring Michael back. I regarded it with awe there was a part of me inside that rock...some one else would think I wouldn't want them back, not wanting them wasn't much of an option. Besides my blood was still non-human.. Power or no power I was still an alien and so were Tess and Isabelle.

Isabelle took her's already because one of the rocks were empty and I think I know why Isabelle wasn't drained. Because she was practical and the least deluded than of us all...she already knew that we couldn't bring Michael back ... deep down inside we all knew I guess that Michael was gone...it wasn't hope, it was just for the sake or normal. So that
the guilt could some how become less that we were help less to stop what happened. We already knew it wasn't going to work but we threw our selves into the balance on a side.

Me and Tess were able to move the boulder with our powers safely over Michael's grave and laid it to rest on the head. One of the healing rocks were a rich blue. It's was Michael's... somehow we all managed to drain Michael and ourselves into these stones.

When I touched it...when I touched it I was back in that moment I was there, it was like seeing warm colors and I could feel Michael...I couldn't see him…but that's alright…I was closer to that moment. More than almost close.

Tess blew open a grove in the boulder and I put his rock inside, we both sealed and replaced the cover Tess blew...it was better this way. None of 'us' had any real right to take away his powers they should be buried with him.. Maybe everyone else can feel him too now, no matter how far away they are.

It's dawn, the funerals over and Kyle's right about the boulder being Michael's thing, I engraved it with his thumb ring and first name the rest is a nobody. We knew him only as 'Michael'. Guerin doesn't mean anything and no one gives a damn about it.

I know Nacedo's going to come after 'us' and he might try to change the boulder, but I know it's not going to change ...we've marked it with Michael's powers. Even Nacedo can't take that away from him.It's dawn the stars are almost gone but there's a pale moon, in a while it's going to fade too and were back on the fork road again. Tess is taking the third road, waving back at Kyle, and me. Just a little. We're walking back to town I think Kyle's going to take to Dallas with his Mustang...For a while.

It's three weeks after Michael's death, everyone's left...its Sunday again and I'm leaving too.

THE END

Home | Leave a Review