Chapter 7- The Apology

Author: Sezza
Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story and any unknown characters in Roswell.
Couple: M&M
Spoilers: Anything up to season 3 may be mentioned at some point
Rating: PG-13 but could get higher
Summary: The aliens left instead of staying. Alex didn’t die and Tess wasn’t evil. When they return Michael learns something that will forever change his life.
Author’s note: Ok here I am with another fic. There are something’s that you should know before reading and that will be brought to your attention in a Background info section I release before chapter 1 so I hope none of you get too confused.
Email: sezza43@hotmail.com
Distribution: If you want it, all you have to do is ask.

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Silence engulfed the kitchen. Maria went to sit on the seats motioning for Michael to do the same. Michael broke the silence. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you. You’re right. There's no way that you could have told me. I was just angry I guess. I mean I came here to find out that I have two kids." Michael laughed slightly then stopped at the look on Maria’s face.

"How do you think I felt waking up to discover from my best friend that the guy who had just slept with me was on his way to another planet?" Maria asked bitterly.

Michael looked at the table. "I was going to tell you---," he started but Maria interrupted him

"Then why didn't you? Why did I have to find out from Liz who thought that I already knew?"

"I'm so sorry Maria. I know that's not going to fix things---,"

"Your damn right it's not. Look Michael, you just can't come back here and expect things to go back to the way they were." Maria said.

"I know. Look can I at least explain to you why I didn't tell you I was leaving?" he asked. "Without interruptions I mean."

Maria nodded.

"Ok, when I got to your place that night I had every intention of telling you, and then when I gave you those flashes and we kissed I knew that it wasn't the right time. I didn't want to ruin the moment."

"Why didn't you tell me after?" Maria asked quietly

"I was scared. God I wanted to tell you so badly Maria but I just couldn't. When we made love, it was the best moment in my entire life and I was scared of loosing you. I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to."

"Because up there was more important then me." Maria finished

Michael looked at her and grabbed her hands in his. "No, look, that's not it ok. You are and were much more important to me than ever finding home was. You have to understand that I was scared. You're the first person who ever told me that they loved me and it terrified me."

"Why?" Maria asked.

"Because I was scared that I wasn't enough, that I wasn't good enough for you, that I'd screw everything up and that it would make you hate me. I was afraid of loosing you Maria, so I thought that I'd leave and when I came back then I would be a better person for you. That I would finally be enough." Michael finished.

Maria stared at him watching as a tear fell from his eyes. She felt sorry for him for a moment but then stopped. She had to be strong, for her kids. She couldn’t let him in their lives just to have him walk out on them in the future. "You thought you'd leave and come back, and that I'd just welcome you with open arms?" Maria asked him "Things don't work that way Michael. God, I needed you here. If I were so important to you then you would have stayed or at least have told me you were leaving. You have no idea what I went through Michael. God the pregnancy itself was hard enough." Maria laughed then. "When I found out I was pregnant you want to know what I did?" she asked him with tears in her eyes. She didn't leave him time to answer instead continued.

"I ran to your apartment. God I was scared but happy you know. I was having your child. I knew you wanted a family and I was finally able to give you one, so I ran to your apartment and opened the door. Without realizing I started to tell you. Then I noticed that you weren't saying anything back so I looked up and remembered that you were gone. That was probably the worst moment of my life. Knowing that I had to do it all on my own. Knowing that my child would grow up without a father. Knowing you weren't coming back."

Maria let a tear drop to the floor and looked into Michael's clouded eyes. "I cried for days after that you know. And the hardest thing was having to tell my mother. She kicked me out you know. God she was so angry. She wanted so much more for me. Thank god for Kyle and Alex though. If they hadn't of been there then god knows what I would have done. Mom finally came around after Jim talked to her and told her you were gone so you couldn’t help. She let me move back in and she helped. Then when Nacedo came into my life he helped to. He was like my saviour. The father I never knew. But you know what Michael? Even with all of them in my life the only person I really needed was you and you weren't there. My children needed there father and you weren't there." Maria started to cry harder.

Michael's heart broke at the sight of his only love cry. He couldn’t believe what he had done to her. "God, Maria if I had have known I---," he started

"You would have what Michael? Stayed." Maria scoffed "Yeah right. The only thing you ever cared about was finding home. Well Michael you found it so why did you come back?"

Michael walked towards her. "Your right. I did want to find home and I did find it. But up there wasn't home. I realize that now. The moment I stepped foot into the granolith I realized that but it was too late. I asked to be able to leave but the door wouldn’t open so I had to go. I realized that here with you was my home Maria. You have to believe me. I didn't want to leave."

"I died you know." Maria told him.

Michael looked up to her in shock. "What?"

"I died. The day I gave birth to the twins I died. After the first one was born I remember feeling really tired but River Dog kept telling me I had to push so the other one could come into the world so I did but after the second was born I remember falling asleep. The next thing I knew I was in this dream zone holding two babies in my arms with you sitting beside me telling me you'd never leave us. God it seemed so real. Then I remembered seeing a golden glow and suddenly I was brought back. Nacedo had healed me." Maria dry laughed and looked at Michael. "You would think that a person would be happy to have a second chance at life wouldn't you. But believe it or not with that first breath I cursed Nacedo for bringing me back. I didn't want to be a single mom like my mother. I wanted more for my children." Maria sniffed. "But when River Dog put those two in my arms all of those thoughts just left my head. I suddenly realized that I wanted to live. I wanted to see them walk their first steps, to say their first word. To know who there mother was."

Maria picked up a photo of her, Liz and the kids and smiled. "They looked so tiny," she said as she fingered the photo lightly. "I was so happy at that moment. Nothing seemed as important anymore. Not my shitty life or my hatred towards you." Michael winced at that. "All that mattered was Matthew and Joshy. So I made a promise to myself and to them then. Do you wanna know what it was?" Maria asked. "I promised them that I'd never let anyone or anything hurt them as long as I lived. And I intend on keeping that promise." Maria looked him dead in the eye when she said that last part. "Now that you know their yours what do you want?"

Michael couldn't believe it. After what she had told him he just wanted to die. She was right. He should have been here to help. If he were here then maybe she wouldn't have died. Michael just looked at her at that last statement. "What? Well I'd like to see them." Michael told her

Maria sighed. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Michael was confused. "What? Why?"

"I told you that I wasn't going to let my kids get hurt and I meant it. How do I know that you won't leave again? I will not let those kids be attached to you only to have you abandon them. I love my children way too much to put then through that." Maria told him and meant every word. "I mean it Michael. If you want to see them then I need to know that you will always be there for them, that you will be the father that they need. That you won't leave."

Michael walked up to her and took her face in his hands. "I won't leave. Ever. When we got the option to come back one of the stipulations was that we could never return. And I have no intention to anyway. I told you Maria. My home is here with you, with those kids. I'm not leaving nor will I ever. I promise."

Maria took his hands away. "I know I shouldn't, and Kyle would probably kill me for it but I believe you. I believe that you won't leave, that you won't abandon them. But know this Michael, just because you will be in my children's life doesn't mean that you will have any part in mine. I got over you a long time ago. Don't expect anything from me because I have nothing to give."

Michael nodded. He knew it wasn't going to be easy and while he nodded and agreed now it didn't mean that he wouldn't try. He was going to get her back if it was the last thing he did. He loved Maria and knew that there was no one else out there for him. He just had to convince her of that.

"Good." Maria replied.

"Where are they? Do they know about me?" Michael asked

"There at my mothers and no, they don't but when my mother drops them off at my place later I'll tell them." Maria told him. Michael nodded.

Liz suddenly appeared in the room. "Hey um your mom called and asked if the kids could stay with her tonight and Kyle said it was ok."

Maria glanced at Michael then nodded at Liz. "Well then I guess they find out tomorrow. Do you think you can wait that long?"

"I've waited this long." he replied

Liz looked at the two. "Wait, your going to tell them Michael's their father?" she asked not believing that Maria would let Michael near her kids.

Maria understood Liz's unspoken thoughts. "Yeah we talked and I decided that they should now. I'm telling them tomorrow."

Liz nodded. She thought from the start that Michael should know but then thought of something. "Kyle's gonna be pissed."

"I know but it's not up to him." Maria said. Next a loud crash was heard from the living room and Maria, Liz and Michael all ran to see what it was.

They ran into the room to find Alex on his back with his eyes closed and Isabel trying franticly to wake him up.

"What happened?" Asked Maria

Kyle smiled. "Nacedo was just giving Max and Tess the graphic details of the twin’s birth and unky Awif here fainted." Kyle said using the twins name for him.

Maria and Liz laughed. Isabel looked up in question. Liz filled her in. "Alex did the same thing when she was in labour. He saw the head of the first one come out and fainted. Every time someone mentions any sort of description of the birth he faints. It's the blood. He's not that good with seeing it."

While the others laughed Michael stayed silent. He had missed out so much and was now paying for it. Maria hated him, his kids didn't know who he is and he's missed their entire lives to date. Liz looked up at him as if to sense what he was thinking. "Don't worry, you get to know them now and that's what counts." Michael smiled at her realizing she was right. He was going to make it up to each and every one of them. That was a promise.