I've been warring with this particular issue. Am I selfish if I decide that I can't help a particular person? Last night at meditation, I came up with a really good analogy that I thought I'd share.
I consider myself a knight.
I used to wear a lot of armour (defense
mechanisms), but it didn't seem to help me that much. Attacks still got through.
I have started carrying a shield instead. This shield is my inner peace. The
knowledge that I am a worthwhile person. My shield is heavy, so gaining the
strength to carry it has taken some time.
Before I started carrying my shield, I had 2 hands free, and I was frequently reaching out to help other people pick up their shields, but I never carried my own.
Now that I carry my own, I only have one arm free. I generally use that arm to at least point out where the other person's shield is, sometimes even to help them carry it for a while. But I am learning to put their shield down first, before mine. Because if I can't carry my own shield, and I don't wear any armour any more, then I will fall to my demons.
My next goal is to learn how to carry my sword. So that I can fight off those demons giving the other people around me time to pick up their shield.
Is this selfish?