To start my collection, I had the teenage, high-school boyfriend. How was
"boyfriend" defined then. Basically, if he asked you out. And that means "will
you go out with me?". So then, it didn't matter how long it went for, you were
still "going out".
Mitchell and I went out for 2 months,and it felt like
forever. We didn't even have sex, but we did everything but. When he moved to
another state, I was devastated, but hid it well, by immediately picking up with
Daniel. Talking to Mitchell at that point was awkward, and it wasn't until
Charles that I was able to talk to Mitchell again.
That's one of things that I've noticed, is that it isn't until the guy after the immediate one after my ex, that I actually find myself able to be non-awkward.
Rather than get into the specifics, I think that up until I was 16, my
boyfriends were pretty much defined by "will you go out with me?". Then for a
few years it was whether I had sex with them or not. It had to be timed well. If
you had sex before the third date, it was pretty much doomed.
Either I got
tired of them, or they got tired of me.
And then up until the last 2 years, I was the "dumper". They were too clingy, didn't have a life, whatever. But now I find myself being "the dumped". My strategy doesn't work anymore.
So, I am learning how to be friends with guys first. It's actually quite difficult, especially if I find them attractive, but I'm trying.
I find that interesting, that the strategies that worked in high school, no longer work, but some people still try to use them. Perhaps this is why relationships fail so frequently, and there are "no guys" out there.
So my collection of ex-boyfriends falls into the
-"sweet and a long time
ago" category,
-"the ones that i just had cos it was cool to do
so",
-"the ones I really don't ever have any desire to see again"
-"the
ones I am still friends with",
-"the ones I am still awkward around..."
And then there's the collection of ex-flings..
-"still friends
with"
-"would still bonk"
-"don't care either way"
" -"would be
interested in more"
-"can't stand with a passion"
What I want to know, is why can't I work this out before I get involved?