Fat- is it just in my head?


September 28, 2000

Having let go of the urgency in regards to having a relationship has had a bonus side-effect.
Ok, so I haven't quite relaxed, but I am finding it easier to enjoy the "now". It's still hard, learning to allow myself to NOT take action is a really big step. I have this little voice in my head who tells me I'm lazy.. well what it actually says is "you're lazy".
I talked about this with my mother, and she was concerned that she might have pushed me too hard as a child.. that my achievements were important to her (they were vindication of her being a single mother, especially when my father and his parents were so down on her all the time)

I let her know that if I discovered the voice "you're lazy" was actually her, i'd let her know. i'm pretty fortunate to have a mother who can accept being wrong sometimes.

the other voice i have is the "you're fat" voice. and today, that's been exceptionally strong, so I can't pretend that i've gotten rid of it.
I think it is in reaction to me eating... eating anything at all.

So.. where did these voices come from? well i think the eating one came indirectly from my father's side of the family. (sometimes i do feel like i am blaming them for everything, that i'm demonizing them, but then i have to remember that they are a _bit_ dysfunctional.)
my father's message (see previous diatribe) about women meant that i actually never wanted to be one. it wasn't until the last year that i could use the word "woman" without cringing, that i could wear a low necked top, or have fun in sex.

and i remember him commenting on the one and only time he's met my good friends... "well, it's good that you haven't got fat like that. you should be very careful"
so, no comment about how interesting, funny, attractive, intelligent, non-surfy, motivated they were... just how fat they were.

and so, even though my wonderful friends tell me that i'm actually quite thin, i'm terrified of being fat.
absolutely goddam terrified.

anyway, one impossible battle a day.. i think i'll work on the "Lazy" issue...

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