myfunnystuff

Subject: true story....

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee
                (now I know why they record these
conversations)

                "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may
I help you?"

               "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with
WordPerfect."

                            "What sort of trouble?"

"Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."

                                  "Went away?"

                               "They disappeared."

                 "Hmm. So what does your screen look
like now?"

                                   "Nothing."

                                   "Nothing?"

             "It's blank; it won't accept anything
when I type."

               "Are you still in WordPerfect or did
you get out?"

                                "How do I tell?"

                   "Can you see the C: prompt of the
screen?"

                             "What's a sea-prompt?"

            "Never mind. Can you move your cursor
around the screen?"

     "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
accept anything I type."

                 "Does your monitor have a power
indicator?"

                              "What's a monitor?"
       "It's the thing with the screen on it that
looks like a TV. Does
              it have a little light that tells you
when it's on?"

                                 "I don't know?"

        "Well, then look on the back of the monitor
and find where the
                  power cord goes into it. Can you
see that?"
                                "Yes, I think so"

        "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and
tell me if it's plugged
                                 into the wall."

                                  "Yes it is. "

      "When you were behind the monitor, did you
notice that there were
            two cables plugged into the back of it,
not just one?"

                                      "No."

       "Well, there are. I need you to look back
there again and find the
                                  other cable."

                               "Okay, here it is."

              look, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the
                             back of your computer."

                              "I can't reach it."

                      "Uh huh. Well, can you see if
it is?"

                                      "No."

       "Even if you maybe put your knee on something
and lean way over?"

       "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right
angle - it's because
                                   it's dark."

                                     "Dark?"

       "Yes the office light is off, and the only
light I have is coming
                              in from the window."

                     "Well, turn on the office light
then."

                                   "I can't."

                                 "No? Why not?"

                       "Because there's a power
failure."

       "A power.... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've
got it licked now.
         do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff your
                               computer came in?"

                     "Well, yes I keep them in the
closet."

         "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system
and pack it up just
        like it was when you got it. Then take it
back to the store you
                                bought it from."

                            "Really? Is it that bad?"

                            "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

             "Well, all right then, I suppose. What
do I tell them?"

             "Tell them you're too damn stupid to
own a computer."