Written By Shaun Blankenship

________

________

Park stood next to Robert approached the lunch line. "So, why are you telling me all of this?"

Robert held out his tray to the lunch lady. "I'll have the number four." The lady placed two stale biscuits on his Styrofoam tray and continued to slop some pale, gray gravy on them. Robert turned to Park. "I love Breakfast for Lunch day."

Park held out his tray. "Number two." As the lunch lady placed some very small pancakes on his tray, he turned to Robert. "Back on subject. Why are you telling me about all of Helga's problems?"

"Two reasons." Robert moved down. "I'm trying to figure a way to help her and raise her from this funk she's been in. Also, now that she told Arnold, she doesn't care who knows which makes it open discussion. You see any solutions?"

Park pulled his tray back and moved down in the line with Robert, grabbing any condiment he thought he might need. "Well, I think she needs to move on and live with the fact that Arnold will always be nothing but a friend."

"Try telling her that." Robert and Park pulled up to the cashier. They lifted their hands and the lady nodded at them. Thank God for the free lunch system. They walked off toward their table. "New subject, Park. This is getting old."

Park took his seat. "How about Lila?"

"I haven't heard, what's happened to her now?"

"She's back."

Robert froze while pulling the spout out on his carton of chocolate milk. "She's back?"

"Yeah. Since she's missed so much, she's been entered as a sophomore. She won't graduate for a while."

"Huh." Robert finally took a drink from the milk after getting the spout to open. "That's something." Robert paused to take another drink. "I hate Lila."

"Why? Nobody hates Lila!"

That's questionable, he thought to himself. "The girl is just… she's just… dopey." He stared at his alleged biscuits and gravy. "She's… like a mannequin. A life-like body with a hollow head."

"So, you're calling her stupid."

"No, just dopey. There's nothing real about her." He looked at Park's lunch. "Hey, I'll sell you these biscuits for seventy-five cents."

"Try that stuff on Harold. I have neither the money nor the appetite." Park picked at his pancakes and took a bite with his cheap plastic fork. "I'm not completely following you. Yes, she's just a pretty face, but what do you mean 'real'?"

"Look, all she ever will be is a pretty face and that's the problem. She has no likeable qualities except for her physical appearance."

"That's not true. She has a great sense of humor."

Robert glared at Park. "All of her jokes end with something like 'Whatever you do, don't smell that cow' or something."

Park recalled silently in his head. "Yeah… that's pretty true. She's a bleeding-heart animal lover."

"What girl isn't?" Robert finished the carton of milk. "I mean she's a good kid and I'm not going to make fun of her or anything, but I just think she's not someone to have a deep relationship with."

Park was now struggling with the spout of his chocolate milk. "You know, you'd think somebody would've thought of something better than this by now."

At that moment, Harold started to walk by with his own tray of food. Robert turned in his seat and waved his hand slightly. "Hey Harold."

The tubby teenager spun around to see Robert. "Yeah?"

"Sell you my biscuits for seventy-five cents. You want 'em?"

"Oh, would I ever!"

***

Arnold sat down at the lunch table with a brown paper sack. "Hey, Gerald."

Gerald lifted his hand up. "What up, Arnold? Or should I say Helga's 'sultry pre-teen'?" He started to laugh uncontrollably. "Man! That sure came out of nowhere!"

"Hey, shut up." Arnold searched through the sack. "What she did took a lot of courage. Would you go to someone's house…"

Gerald's eyes grew wide and he interrupted as fast as he could. "Aw, man! Don't tell me you fell for her! If so, that's cool and all, but man!"

"I'm not falling, nor did I fall for her. I just feel some sympathy for her, you know? I'm kind of mad at myself that I don't like her. She hasn't been in school ever since it came back in session. That's four days, Gerald!" Arnold grabbed an apple from the bag and started to rub it on his shirt. "I have emotionally upset a girl so badly that she hasn't been to school for four days!"

"Yeah, I can see how that is. It's Helga though, man. Think about the back-story of all of this: if she likes you so much, how come she's always been such a wench to you?"

"I can understand why." He opened his mouth and took a large bite of the red delicious. "See, she was trying to conceal her secret by acting totally opposite."

"I hear what you're saying, but she's done some cold stuff to you, man." Gerald looked around the cafeteria as he spoke, as if searching for something he knew he wasn't going to fine. "Remember when she glued the feathers to your…"

Arnold raised his hand. "I remember, I remember. I don't care, man. I think I need to go and see if she's all right."

"Wait," Gerald said. "You can't do that. That'll just hurt her more. She'll show up eventually, give her some time."

Arnold looked at the apple in his hand. "Yeah, but I feel like I owe her something."

"Dude, you don't owe her anything." Gerald placed a hand on his friend's closest shoulder. "Things didn't work out like she wanted, that doesn't make it your fault. If you think of it that way, you're gonna start liking her out of pity, and that just doesn't work out no matter how you try it."

"Yeah, you're right." He took another bite from the apple. "I just wished it seemed right."

Gerald removed his hand. "Aw, stop with the dramatics. Little George Clooney wannabe."

***

Helga lied on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Robert's parents understood the situation and left her alone, but not before suggesting that she went back to school on Friday. Winter Vacation's over, Helga, and eventually you have to face the music. She knew the facts of it, yet she didn't care. Not even the ceiling offered comfort through the boring days alone. The strange, alien ceiling that was unlike that of her original home. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a new ceiling.

No secret, no use in hiding, and so more locket either. Helga would no longer need to steal pictures of Arnold from Phoebe; there would be no point. Tomorrow she was going to have to go to school and get over any grievances she might have. Yet in today, she had no way of helping her depression and it was driving her crazy: slowly but surely. New perils ahead were child's play compared to mental anguish she felt now. Everything's pointless, and nothing has meaning.

She stood up from the bed. Her pillow still kept the shape of her head resting upon it. She walked towards the living room and started to mess with the stereo. She pulled out of her pocket a mix tape. She had one for every mood: happy, anxious, sad, etc. On this occasion, it was the sad tape; filled with sappy crap to try and lift the frown from her face. This never would happen, but one can wish. Right?

The first song started and a sad piano harmony flowed from the speakers. This was truly the greatest moment ever to wallow in one's self pity. Life is full of sickness and unfortunately it sucks.

***

Arnold tapped on the lunch table lightly with his fingers as Lila sat down across from him and Gerald. "Hey Arnold."

"Hey Lila." Arnold stared at his fingers as he drummed them lightly. "How's school treating you so far?"

"Okay, I guess. Everyone's has been just ever-"

Arnold stopped tapping and slammed his palms on the table. "Lila, it's been pretty crappy for me for a while now, and I really don't want to hear all your little Lila-isms. Please don't say 'ever-so' or any of the junk."

She leaned back as if dodging a swing. "Alright, Arnold. Everyone has been really accepting to me. I'm in resource room so I have a lot of advantages to what I do during the day."

He nodded as Gerald looked at him in awe. "Well, that's good." He saw Gerald's eyes and knew what he was thinking. How can you be crazy about this girl and yet be a complete jerk to her? He guess wasn't that far off. Lila had become an enormous pain in the neck. "I'm sorry if I seem kind of rude, it's been a hard week."

"I understand." She moved in her chair as if trying to get comfortable. "How was your Christmas, Arnold?"

"Great, it was great. Yours?"

"Oh, it was just ev… it was just pleasant."

"That's good to hear." Arnold had now finished the apple. The rest of his lunch just seemed excessive now. "It's nice to see you back, Lila. It really is."

"Your welcome." Lila now searched aimlessly through the cafeteria with her eyes. Fifteen minutes still remained of the lunch period.

***

"Hey, Arnold. Looks like the school's finally gonna have that talent show!" Gerald ripped the flyer off the wall on his way to his locker.

Arnold glanced over at the paper. "Every year this school tries to have a talent show. Something always goes wrong and it gets cancelled. Last year there weren't enough participants. The year before, the auditorium was under repair. The year before that, the drama teacher came down with the flu and couldn't handle the show."

"Yeah, but there's always that chance that this year it'll be different. Maybe now I'll get the attention I disserve."

"For what? All you can do is play piano."

"Hey, I warned you about bringing that up." Gerald's finger was in Arnold's face. "I haven't played piano in a long while and I don't intend to do it in public any time soon."

"Then what are you going to do."

"Maybe I'll sing a song, maybe I'll do a rap. You never know."

"You rap?" Arnold stopped at his locker and Gerald paused with him. "I've never heard you."

"Hey, there's a lot of things people don't know about me. Me and Fuzzy Slippers spend a lot of our time rhyming."

"Huh." Arnold grabbed a textbook and slammed the door. "I never would've guessed. Are you guys any good."

"I don't judge, man. I don't pick favorites and I don't rank other people. I'm not about to go and say if I'm good or not because that would just be my ego talking."

"Yeah," agreed Arnold, "but how are you going to join a talent show if you have no confidence in what it is you want to do?"

"I have confidence, I'm just not about to call myself good or not. That's for someone else to decide, not me."

"Well, good luck. I gotta get to Health."

"I thought you had Gym after lunch."

"I did." Arnold and Gerald started to walk back down the hall. "This is the health portion of the class. Same teacher, but now I have a book to drag along."

"That's a shame. I'll see you later Arnold." Gerald turned and rushed down the opposite way of the hall.

"See ya, Gerald."

***

Arnold came over to the table with his notepad and pen ready. "Are you two ready yet?"

The newlyweds looked at each other. The husband pulled away from his wife's ear and looked at Arnold. "Yes, we'll each have the lobster."

"Great choice." Arnold scratched the order down in his Chez Paris pad. "Anything to drink? Would you like to see our collection of wine?"

"Yes, that'd be great. Thank you." The man once again returned to whispering into his wife's ear.

Arnold flipped the cover on the pad and nodded. "You're welcome. I'll be right back with that list." He stepped back to the kitchen with the order and placed it on the circular clipboard. At that same moment, Sid had walked in with an order. "How did you ever talk me into getting this job, Sid?"

He placed his order next to Arnold's and looked him in the face. "The pay is excellent, the tips are great, and these suits they make us wear are pretty effin' awesome too. Very choice if I must say."

"Yeah, but the people who eat here are snobs." Arnold looked out of the door to see the higher class eating their expensive dinners. Out of the many faces, he was able to recognize Rhonda's parents at a table by themselves. "Are you serving the Lloyds?"

"No, that's the new girl's territory. I've got the old couple over there in the corner." Sid pointed to show where he meant. "Old people are great at restaurants like these. They always tip the highest."

Arnold looked over to a stack of menus to where there was a list of wines next to them. He grabbed one and turned towards Sid. "I gotta go back out there."

"Me too."

They both left the kitchen at the same time and Arnold walked to the couple's table. "Here's the list, sir."

The man once again pulled away from his wife. "Thank you again."

"Your welcome. I'll be back in a while with your dinner as soon as it's done."

The woman finally made herself vocal. "Thank you, young man."

"Your welcome."

It was then that a familiar face had just walked in through the door. The face that had stopped him in his tracks so many years ago. Arnold hadn't noticed at the moment of her arrival, but he would soon. Sid had rushed over to her. "How many?"

She lifted her hand and displayed with her fingers; "Three. My parents should be around soon."

"Okay, follow me."