Written By Shaun Blankenship

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Arnold sat on his bed throwing a baseball against his wall and back. Gerald occupied his computer clicking away aimlessly at nothing interesting. Arnold sighed and caught the ball, just to throw it back. "It's Tuesday, Gerald. One more day until the big date."

Gerald looked up from the screen confused but switched back once his brain kicked in and recognized what he was talking about. "Oh, yeah; Ruth Mc-Whatnot. Okay, so what?"

He caught the ball and threw it back. "I've been waiting for this for the longest time, Gerald. You don't know how much this means to me."

Gerald spun around in the computer chair and placed his hands at his forehead. "Arnold, why are you so obsessed with this girl?"

He caught the ball and kept it in his hand. "Huh?"

"Before October, you had completely forgotten about Ruth." He dragged his hands from his forehead to his chin. "Do you still like her or is this just because of fourth grade?"

"This isn't about fourth grade." He threw the ball back and forth to the wall. "It's… I still like her."

"Heh." Gerald stood up from the chair and took a seat over on Arnold's couch. "When I was in third grade… I had a crush on Nadine."

Arnold had gone to throw the ball at the wall and back to him, but had thrown off his angle from being altered by Gerald's words. The ball bounced off the wall and broke through a windowpane on Arnold's ceiling. "Nadine? You had a crush on Nadine?"

"Hey, it was third grade!" He looked down at his feet. "I didn't like her the year after."

"Well, why is that?"

"Because she had gone away for summer vacation to Florida." He stared at the newly formed hole in the window as he continued to speak. "I hadn't seen her for three months. When she came back, I had almost already forgotten about her. I tried to have the same feelings that I used to have… but for some reason couldn't. Things like this get fixed by time; and if it's fixed, quit trying to break it all again." His eyes shifted down as he now concentrated on a burst of broken glass that collected on Arnold's bed. "She hadn't changed, I had. I first thought I still had feelings as if I was almost obligated."

Arnold had not moved an inch from when Gerald had first confessed. "What's the point of this story."

"If you like her, go for it. If you just want her because she's finally available, quit trying."

Arnold cocked his head back insulted. "You think I'm just doing this because I used to like her."

"Maybe." He now looked him in the face sternly. "Maybe it's a payback for yourself. Maybe you'll feel if you two are left unfinished."

"Well, if I don't like her, who do you think I like?" The baseball rolled itself down through the broken window by a pigeon rolling it with its beak. "You seem to be the analyst of the hour."

Gerald looked at his shoes. "Actually, me and the guys had our money on either Lila or Helga. Lila's out of the question now."

"What?!" Arnold stood off of his bed. "How did Helga even become a possibility?"

"Do you realize the amount of respect you give her?" Gerald looked up from his shoes. "She always claimed to hate you so much, yet you were always so defensive of her. There were a bunch of other signs that kind of pointed in that direction."

"I'm like that with everybody!" Arnold flailed his arms around while he spoke as if to give his speech more importance. "I'm like that with you and I'm not trying to date you!"

Gerald held his hands in front of him. "And let's keep it that way, buddy. I don't do that."

"We're getting off of the subject. I may have talked to Ruth just because I liked her back then, but that doesn't mean I'm going out to dinner with her tomorrow just because of fourth grade." Arnold sat back down. "It's not a crush; now it's more of a friendship… almost. A relationship maybe."

"Whatever, Arnold." Gerald waved off to him. "That doesn't seem right for some reason."

***

***

Ruth sat down to the table where Arnold had patiently waited. "I'm so sorry I was late. I was held up at home and then my car was low on gas…"

Arnold motioned for her to stop. "It's okay, I understand. I hope you don't think the idea of a Coney Island as poor. I just thought it'd be sleazy to take you to the restaurant I work at."

"No, this is quite alright." Ruth picked up the menu from the side of the napkin holder. Their booth sat up against a wall with a series of small, vertical mirrors aligning it. "This was a relief actually. Usually a fancy restaurant makes me feel out of place. Like I don't belong."

"Hmm." Arnold stared at his 'complimentary' glass of water whose ice had completely melted. "Do you know what you want to see tonight? I know we didn't set a schedule for this but I brought a newspaper for the times at the theatre across the street." Arnold picked up from his side of the table a folded section of a newspaper with an ad for The Mild Hillbillies Movie.

Ruth picked up the paper and searched it over. "Why don't we decide when we get there? How are things in High School? What've you been doing recently?"

"Well, me and Helga just got done with a paper we had to write for Creative Writing class a few days ago. It's not due until Friday though."

Ruth scratched the side of her head. "Which one is Helga again?"

"The girl with the one eyebrow."

"The big burly, butch girl?"

"No, that's Patty."

"Huh." Ruth looked over her shoulder for a waitress. "I don't remember her."

Arnold tried refreshing her memory. "She always used to wear pink dresses with a bow in her hair and had blonde hair with pig tails."

She thought a little more and finally snapped her finger and pointed. "Oh, yeah! Her! Oh, man, what was that girl's deal? Anytime I got near you, she pushed me out of the way?"

"Huh?"

Ruth cleared her throat and clasped her fingers in front of her. "This one time at the cheese festival…"

***

Two tables behind Ruth, a newspaper bent down to reveal Helga Pataki's eyes watching Arnold. She wore a long, beige overcoat and a brown hat. The waiter came over to her and coughed to gain her attention. "Are you ready yet?"

Helga moved him away with her hand. "Nah, give me a few minutes and get off my back."

The waiter rolled his eyes. "You know, there is a three dollars and fifty cents minimum purchase price to be here. You've sat in this booth for two hours now."

It was true. She had been at the restaurant way before Arnold had. While listening over his bedroom window, she heard him mentioning being at the restaurant at seven. She had shown up at five twenty-three. Ruth was a little more than a half-hour late. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"If you don't order something, we can ask you to leave under the grounds that you are loitering."

Helga reached in her jacket pocket and pulled out four dollars. "I want a Yahoo soda, no ice; a plate of cheese fries, no chili; and a cup of chicken noodle soup."

The waiter looked down at the money as he added in his head. "That's only three-fourty, yet well spent."

"Fine!" Helga gave in. "Make it a bowl of soup then!"

The man scribbled down her order and pranced to the kitchen. "I'll have your food shortly."

Helga put her face back in the paper and peeked at the movie times herself.

***

"…And then she shoved me into this bumper car for some reason. I think she was trying to make sure I was stuck with the sticky accelerator, but I think in the end it was her car."

Arnold rested his head up with this hand, thanks to the support his elbow gave from the table. "Wow, I never knew any of that."

Ruth started to chuckle lowly. "Yeah, those were crazy times. So, how's Helga today You two getting along?"

Arnold's thoughts paced through his head exhausted. God, this is like talking to… well, not grandma… it's definitely not like talking to grandpa… it's like playing twenty questions. Why does she want to know all of this stuff? "Yeah, we're… somewhat on the up-and-up. There's been some friction I don't like to talk about." His cheeks began to lightly grow red. "It's a little embarrassing."

The waitress finally arrived at their table. "Hello! My name is Cindy! May I get you something to drink or are you ready to order?"

***

The waiter came back with a large tray. With the food on it, the circular tray was almost a third of the way full. He started to put the food in front of Helga. "Here's your stuff. I already paid your bill, so you can leave whenever you feel like it."

Helga raised question at the large tray. "Was all that really necessary? You brought me my drink ten minutes ago; all you had left were plates. Two plates, at that. You could've held one in each hand."

The waiter raised his nose in a snobbish way that seemed hypocritical in a Coney Island. "You better hope your tip is as big as your mouth."

"Or what, your gonna kick me out for being a bad tipper?"

***

"High School was great." Ruth smiled as she spoke. "I'm surprised we never had any classes together while I was there."

"I thought we did…" Arnold trailed off into his own memories. "Maybe we didn't. So is college all it's cracked up to be?"

"Huh!" She took a sip of water from a glass Cindy had just brought over. "It's that and so much more."

"Really? What, is it a party every night like I've heard?"

***

Helga peered closely through two small holes in the newspaper. Every once in a while, she'd pull it down to have a better look but right now it was suiting finely. Numerous thoughts circled her brain. What's he thinking right now? What movie are they going to see? Why has Ruth always seen more attention than I have? The answers were all predictable but still vacant from her mind.

It was then that an old, familiar voice interrupted her concentration. Over her shoulder at a counter stool sat a man with gray hair (He had dyed it brown but he wasn't fooling anybody). His raspy and harsh voice skinned the insides of Helga's ears like sandpaper. "One number four dinner special and a cup of coffee."

Helga slowly turned her head as if expecting to see the devil surrounded in fire at the moment she caught glimpse of the character. She turned back once she realized it wasn't possible to see the man and not reveal her face. Another voice next to him, this one was also familiar, started speaking. "So, the lady kicked you out again?"

The man agreed, "Yeah, but I don't blame her. It's all been my fault."

Helga immediately recognized the voice of the stranger. She moved her arms to the back of the booth so the paper faced the seat. She peeked through one of the holes in the paper to confirm her belief.

***

"What is it, Arnold?"

Arnold squinted to make sure of what he was seeing. Helga's profile was clearly visible from Arnold's table now that she had turned her face to the back of her seat. "Helga's here."

Ruth looked behind her at the booth two down from her and snapped her head back quickly to Arnold. "I wonder why she's here."

"No doubt spying on me." Arnold cocked his head in confusion. "What is she doing though?"

"Well, how do you know she's spying on you? That's a rude assumption to make."

Arnold stared at Ruth. "You don't know her well, do you?"

***

"Why don't you just tell her what for, you know? Take your stand as man of the house?"

The waitress behind the counter brought Bob his mug of coffee. "Usually, it's not hard to do. Miriam used to sleep all day before she left. Now it's like… like she has so much more energy."

"You don't need it, Bob." Nick placed an elbow on the counter but dangled his hand off of the edge. "You should get rid of her. Did you have a pre-nup'?"

"Yeah, we do." Bob ripped open three packages of sugar and dumped them into his cup. "We had some divorce issues a few years ago and during the battle, I asked her to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. She put up little hesitation. Told me that if we ever were to divorce or separate again, her mother could support her. I'd still have to pay child support for Helga." Bob stirred his spoon inside of the mug.

The waitress came back and brought Nick a cup of coffee too. "Yeah, what's the deal with the kid again? If she doesn't live in your domicile, do you need to pay support?"

"I don't know. I think I would." He turned towards Nick. "I should've never kicked her out. Everything would've been so much better had she stayed. Miriam wouldn't have thrown me out; I wouldn't have three hundred and something dollars of unopened Christmas presents at the bottom of my closet. Nick, I blew it all."

"Hey, stop with that." Nick was now pointing. "I'm not gonna sit here while you put on some chick-flick weeping session in front of me."

"Sorry." He turned away and took another sip. "I've lost all communication with my daughter, Nick. She won't even talk to me."

Nick spoke in his fast paced way to Bob, "Look, how about I take you to the bar and buy you a few; you'll forget about it tomorrow morning. What's the big deal anyway? It's just one less problem in your life."

Bob sighed. "It's one more problem in my life."

***

Helga put the paper down and turned with her back to the seat. It's just one less problem in your life. It's one more problem in my life. That was enough, she didn't want to hear anymore. Nick Vermicelli was right; Helga had been just one big pain in the neck ever since she was born, bringing everyone down with her as she fell.

The hurtful part was that Bob saw her as a problem also.

Staring down at the plate of cheese fries and bowl of soup, she no longer had any appetite. It's amazing the difference a few minutes can make. One minute, you're worried about why the one you love has chosen another; the next minute, you couldn't care less if they had been married for thirty years with twelve kids.

Well, I'm not going to sit here all night and wait for them to finish their meal. I'm gonna go see a movie, with or without them. Helga folded up the newspaper and shoved it deep in a hidden pocket of her jacket. She left the food on the table and walked wearily out of the door.

***

Ruth peered over her shoulder at the blonde-haired girl leaving. "See, she left before we did. She didn't even glance up at us. She wasn't spying."

"I don't know." The waitress had returned with their entrees on a large dish. "I think there's more to it." Arnold looked up at Cindy. "Is that really necessary? There are only two plates. Couldn't you have just held one with each hand?"

Cindy smiled falsely at Arnold. "It's just what I have to do."

"Yes, but it'd seem much easier if you'd just…"

Ruth touched Arnold's hand that had been lying on the table. "Hey, Arnold, just forget about it. What’s playing tonight again?"

"I thought we were going to decide when we get there."

"I know, but I thought we should just get a head start and know what we're facing."

***

Helga's car pulled up into the theatre parking lot. The place wasn't that crowded. Usually, theatres draw the biggest crowds on Fridays and the weekends. Who in their right mind would schedule a date on a Wednesday?

She stepped out of the car and instantly saw a familiar face on the steps to the entrance. "Hey, Phoebe. What're you doing here?"

The girl looked up from the ground and saw her friend. "Hey, Helga. I work here. I'm kind of on a break."

"You work here? When did this develop?"

"December." She looked back at the same spot of the concrete she had been staring at before.

"Well, hey, can you get me a discount?" Helga smiled from ear to ear, exposing every single one of her teeth.

A smirk appeared on Phoebe's face. "I probably could. What do you want to see?"

"I don't know, Phoebe, what seems to be good tonight? Any suggestions?"

She placed her hands onto the ground and pushed herself up to stand in front of Helga. "I thought that 'A Walk through the Forest' was good."

Helga rubbed her chin. "Is that some kind of sappy romance movie? I was thinking of seeing something entertaining, like something with ninjas or terrorists. Maybe something funny."

"Well, there is 'Carnegie Park', 'Only Sometimes', 'Darkness Dwellers', 'The Adventures of Goat Boy', 'Harbinger Social Club'…"

"What was that last one before… the last one?"

"'The Adventures of Goat Boy'?"

Helga nodded. "Yeah, what's that?"

"That has Jim Breuer and Gilbert Godfried…"

Helga stopped Phoebe. "I'm sold."

"But, Helga, the next show isn't for fourty-five minutes."

"I can wait."

***

Arnold pulled up to the theatre and quickly rushed Ruth out of the car. "Are you sure you want to see this one? It starts in five minutes."

She started walking fast with him to the entrance of the theatre. "Yeah, I heard some things about it from a friend. Besides, you don't want to sit through some sappy romance movie, do you?"

Um… yeah… I kind of did want to with you. "Well, okay. We better get in there quick then."

Ruth and Arnold were almost jogging to the doors.

***

As they moved through the doors, the Paramount Pictures opening sequence had just disappeared from the screen. Arnold searched through the dark for a seat. He quietly whispered to Ruth, "There's hardly anybody in here."

"It's Wednesday at a cheesy comedy; they're not going to have a full house." They took a seat in almost the exact center of the theatre. "I love the movies."

Arnold nodded as they sat down. "Me too."

A voice from the back of the theatre squawked at them, "Hey, pipe down!"

Arnold lifted his hand in surrender. "Sorry."

The movie started. A narrator's voice started to speak, "In a laboratory in the basement of…"

Ruth turned to Arnold. "Is that James Earl Jones' voice?"

"Didn't he die last year?"

***

"Hey!" Helga shouted as she through her bag of popcorn. "Shut your friggin' mouth!"

She saw as the paper bag went soaring through the air and landed on the football-headed silhouette twelve seats in front of her. Football-headed? Arnold? The bag hit his head and sent popcorn flying everywhere. "Aw, crap."

She gripped the back of the seat in front of her and slid down to where she couldn't be seen.

***

Arnold turned his head back. "Hey, who threw that?"

There was only one other person behind him: a black man with dreadlocks. "Ay, it be some crazy girl back there, man. She be throwin' and hollerin' all types of what not."

When you look back on a theatre, people's faces aren't that hard to see. The light from the screen illuminates almost everything. If there had been a girl behind him, he would've seen it. He turned back to Ruth. "I have a suspicious feeling."

"Well, maybe if we stay quiet, we won't cause any problems."

Arnold sat next to Ruth in the theatre, debating to himself whether or not he should put his arm on the back of her chair.

***

Helga lifted her face up from the back of the chair to see if Arnold was looking her way. Well, this'll make an interesting story at school tomorrow. She quietly snuck out of theatre and back to the concession stand to get another bag of popcorn.

It's just another day in the life of Helga Pataki.