Written By Shaun Blankenship

________

________

Arnold leaned up against the brick wall by the auditorium, waiting for Gerald to get out of the green room. Gerald had entered the talent show as competition and received a huge crowd response, but yet lost to the girl who could sing with an opera-style voice and has been in every school play and choir concert for the last four years. It's like that, but that wasn't enough to bring Gerald down about the day. He heard the school's response and that was enough. It's not whether you win or lose; it's that you didn't bite while you were doing your thing.

Arnold backed off of the rugged red bricks as soon as his friend came out of the doors. He held out his hand in a friendly gesture. "You were great, Gerald."

"I know that, you don't need to tell me." Gerald slapped his hand instead of shaking it, but gripped it soon afterwards and did their personal 'thumb-shake'. "So, what's going on with you?"

"Helga has cordially invited us to attend some kind of… thing tonight. She wants to thank me for something and also believes I need some cheering up." Arnold exhaled narrowly and hard out into the air. "You feel like tagging along?"

Gerald smirked. "Well, let's see… hmm… are you sure you two don't want to spend some quality time together?"

Arnold walked away from the building. "Forget it then."

His friend hesitated for a moment but eventually ran to catch up with the football-headed teen. "Can I…"

Arnold answered before Gerald could finish, "Yeah, you can bring Phoebe."

"Where are we gonna meet?"

Arnold stopped in his place and was soon followed by his friend. "You know, I have no idea. I'm not sure if she said or not. I guess I'll have to call Robert."

"She's new at this, isn't she?"

"No, not completely." Arnold started walking with Gerald again. "Let's get off of this subject."

Gerald shook his head nonchalantly. "Nope, I can't do that. It helps to talk about this stuff."

"Not now it doesn't." They walked over to the parking space in the front left corner of the lot. Arnold's car rested there idling. "Let's talk about something else."

Arnold opened and stepped into the driver side door, alienating Gerald awkwardly outside of the car. A few seconds after the fact, Gerald walked in front of the car and over to the passenger side door where he proceeded to enter. "Okay, how about this: you call Robert while I go home to check in with the family. I walk over to your house to find out what's going on, and just hang out until everything is underway; maybe even call Phoebe to see if she knows anything or if she wants to go."

"I don't think she'll say no." Arnold shifted into reverse to exit his space. "That sounds alright with me."

The car peeled out of the parking lot with a boasting squeal. Gerald turned to the driver of the car. "Oh snap, man!"

"What?" Arnold never diverted his attention off of the road as he talked to his friend. "What's wrong?"

"Do you realize what tonight is?"

"No… no, I don't. What's so special about tonight?"

Gerald pounded a fist onto the dashboard. "It's been happening every year for almost… let's see… ten or so years now! Something like that, maybe longer. How long ago was the first annual…"

Arnold pounded the steering wheel while interrupting Gerald. "Ugh, you're right! You don't think she's going to… do you?"

"I think that may be why she planned it out on Friday."

"But she didn't," Arnold clarified. "I planned it for Friday."

"Hmm." Gerald coughed and then cleared his throat. "That's an odd bit of coincidence, but you and I both know there's only one reason anybody ever goes to the…"

***

"…Cheese Festival tonight and I'm paying for everybody, alright?"

Arnold stepped back off of the sidewalk from the front of Robert's house. They were in the process of leaving. Gerald and Phoebe were still entering the car as Helga and Arnold talked, where as Robert had been sitting in the driver's seat. It was Robert's mom's car; some inexpensive town car that was pretty nice for how much it cost. Phoebe and Gerald were getting in the back together. That left one seat available in the front and one in the back. Arnold cleared his throat; "Yeah, sure."

"What?" Helga shoved her hands viciously into her jean pockets. "What's wrong? You got a problem with it?"

"No," cowered Arnold. "No, I'm fine."

"Ugh!" She stomped her foot and rolled her eyes back. "Arnold, we're just friends here. It's not a date. Taking all of you out. Hang out with Gerald the whole night; I really don't care."

"No, I know that." He stepped back onto the sidewalk. "It's just that…"

"…All the bad history between us and the Cheese Festival?"

"Yeah." Arnold bit down on his bottom lip. "That would be it."

"Dude, that was fourth grade or so. There was also that one time back in eighth grade where I rigged the light fixture to hit you and I had to take you around the rest of the night in a wheelchair and keep you awake to avoid a concussion."

Arnold's eyelids widened past his whites. "You what? You did that?"

She looked down at her feet. "Yep, those were some crazy times. Get in the car, we're burning daylight."

***

Gerald motioned Phoebe to walk over to the bumper cars. After she had gone, he walked over to Arnold who had been aggravating him throughout the entire car ride. "Looks like it's on, man. I love these things. I don't think I'll ever get bored with this stuff. Hey, where do you think I can buy a funnel cake?"

Arnold pointed to his right. "At Lil' Johnny's Funnel o' Fun but that's not important. Why do you think we're here?"

"Arnold!" Gerald looked over his shoulder for a brief moment to make sure Phoebe was still at the bumper cars, but turned back quickly. "Look: high schoolers don't come to carnivals for fun anymore. We go here on dates. When a guy takes a girl here, he's trying to get farther with her. When a girl takes a guy here, she's either trying to seduce him or trying to get money from him. Helga's not interested in money; she's trying to win some feelings. Arnold, just go with the flow."

"Why can't you ever be helpful?"

"Why are you so up in arms about Helga?" Gerald took another quick glance behind himself. "She loves you, buddy, and even if you don't love her back, don't shut her out! That's just rude, man. Spend some time with her; enjoy yourself. Take a ride on the tilt-a-whirl and go home afterwards. Just cheer your self up and quit being petty about all this crap. I gotta get back to Phoebe."

Arnold nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for putting this in perspective."

"Anytime you need it. Here comes Helga." Gerald pointed over Arnold's left shoulder at the blonde-haired girl with a handful of tickets. "Enjoy yourself."

"You too." Gerald left and Arnold turned himself around sharply to face Helga upon her arrival. "Hey."

"Hi, how ya doin'? Just got tickets. Where'd Robert go?"

Arnold shrugged. "I saw him over buy the midway."

Helga squinted over to where the games and contest were, scanning for her friend. "Huh. Wanna ride something?"

The eagerness in Helga's voice made him ashamed of how he had been acting towards the whole situation a few seconds earlier. He spoke with a smile too cheerful to be real; "I'll let you decide."

***

Gerald and Phoebe stepped out of the car and onto the sidewalk. "I'll just walk her home from here. Thanks for everything, Helga."

"Don't mention it." She smiled and peeked into the back seat. Robert had fallen over from his upright position in the back seat as soon as Phoebe had left and wasn't there to prop him up. During an intense cheese eat-off, Robert filled himself so full that he fell out of his chair and didn't have the energy to lift himself back up. He still lost to that disposal kid from fourth grade. After all these years, that kid can still pack it in. Sure, he ballooned to three hundred something pounds, but he can still pack it all in.

Arnold was now in the passenger seat as Helga drove away from the curb. The night was a disaster in his case. Gerald and Phoebe kept to themselves for the whole night and seemed to enjoy themselves. Before the cheese-off, Robert had been participating in many of the midway games away from Arnold and Helga. Their night together was more boring than a Barbara Streisand movie marathon. Helga pulled him along onto every spinning ride there was, and every time would scream into his ear at the top of her lungs. Why is it that women find that stuff so thrilling that they'll screech high enough to break glass?

Helga stopped the car in front of the Sunset Arms. She sulked back in the driver's seat and slammed her palm at the top of the steering wheel. "Well, here we are, my 'reign of terror' is over."

Arnold sighed. "Helga, thanks for everything, it's just…"

"Just get out of the car before I push you out."

He opened the door but hesitated with his hand on the interior handle. "I'm sorry I didn't have as much fun as you did, but thanks for the effort."

She smiled sarcastically at him. "Don't talk to me again. Get out of the car."

Arnold unbuckled his seatbelt with his jaw remaining open from Helga's words. "Oh, so we're back to the silent treatment?"

"Something like that, only I did tell you to shut up… yet you won't."

"Helga, come on…" Arnold stepped a foot outside of the car. "Don't let something this small destroy a friendship."

"Heh! 'Friendship'." Helga pounded her fist on the horn in frustration. "It's funny how you can say that when it was you who went and ruined the whole evening."

"Helga, come on! It's just a stupid carnival for the young and the feeble minded." Arnold placed his foot back in the car. "I'm sorry if I was annoying to you throughout the whole evening…"

"You'll never like me more than a friend, will you?"

Arnold cocked his head down and shook it. "That's not fair. That is so not fair."

"Why not?" Helga rested her elbow on the center of the wheel and placed her head atop of her hand. "Why isn't that fair to ask? It's an honest question."

"But it's not something I can just willingly change my mind to. I can't just go against how I feel and say, 'Hey, Helga! Let's go out or something!' Can you?"

"That's not what I mean…"

"That's exactly what you mean and exactly what you want." Arnold turned towards the open door and placed both feet outside, pushing himself out of the car. On the curb, he leaned into the jam and continued to talk with Helga. "I wish there was someway that it wouldn't be so hard on you, but I can't find any other way to tell you. I only like you as a friend, even though you push me further away all the time."

"Arnold, it's not easy for me to change my mind either, but all this time that we've been friends, you don't…"

"Helga, I can't. I'm sorry. Your plan backfired, and I'm sorry."

"Oh, but you'll gladly drop everything for that stupid Ruth girl, even after you realized how completely shallow she was back in fourth grade. Do you even remember that Valentine's Day?"

Arnold paused for a moment. "I do remember that, but she was a different person than before when I met her again. That didn't last either, but you already knew that."

"Yeah, how about that?" She took her elbow off of the wheel as she scowled bitterly at Arnold. "While you give her all of your attention, you've never even given me a chance!"

"Because I…" Arnold bit back the words from his tongue. "Because I don't like you."

Helga placed both hands on the steering wheel and faced forward. "Please close my door and get away from my car."

Arnold placed his hands out in front of him. "Okay, maybe that wasn't the best choice of words to use. I didn't mean that…"

She angrily shifted the car from park to drive. Through clenched teeth, she uttered, "Back off of my door or I'm driving with it open. Please save me some time and shut it. Thank you."

Arnold rested an arm on the top of the open car door. "I'm sorry, alright? Please don't leave like this."

She pressed down on the gas pedal and the car violently pulled from the vacant curb. Arnold's arm fell at his side as he jumped back from the car when it started moving. As soon as she motioned forward, the door was pushed forward into the door jam and almost closed itself completely. It was cracked open slightly as she drove back to Robert's house.

Arnold stood staring at the street where the car had been parked. Knowing that he had made Helga's life more miserable than before was enough to make him want to kick something. She's his friend, and has been before he knew anybody else. He knew her before he knew Gerald… technically. Sure, he had only seen her outside of the preschool, but he still met her before everyone else. That has to count for something.

He sadly walked away from the curb and inside the boarding house. The floor welcomed him as he collapsed onto it and fell asleep.

***