Written By Shaun Blankenship

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Gerald and Rhonda's limousines were parked across from each other, and it was a half-hour before Rudy rolled down his window to talk to Jonathan. "Hey, there, what ya got?"

He held up the Game Boy. "Ready 2 Rumble. You?"

He leaned further out of the window. "I bet you that I can mop this place with your bald head in a game of Tekken." He grinned and held up a PlayStation controller.

Jonathan opened the driver side door. "You're on, Suzy."

Before he left the Limo, Helga ran up to him. "Hey, is the back of the car unlocked?"

Jonathan had a foot outside of his door when she showed up and took him a while to recognize Helga. "Oh, you. Yeah, why? What you need?"

"My friend fell down and hit his head. I was going to call an ambulance." She quickly scrambled to the backseat.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" the man scolded Helga. "He hit his head and you're calling paramedics? Just prop him in the backseat and I'll drive him home. Just make sure he doesn't have a concussion."

Helga opened the door. "Yeah, but I don't know how to do that."

Jonathan slapped his hand and spread it across his face. "You know what? Where is this kid?"

***

"Arnold!" Helga slapped him at the side of his face. "Hey, wake up, guy."

His eyes slowly opened to look up inside of his bedroom. "Wh… why am I here?"

"You passed out," she explained. She was still in her dress and made up, but his tuxedo jacket had been removed. "I couldn't leave you there."

"But it's Prom…" He went to sit up but grasped his head in pain. "What happened?"

"You confessed your love, I kissed you, you passed out." She smiled and held her palms up in front of his face. "What can I say? I'm just that good."

"Well, what time is it?" Arnold went to check his wrist but he instantly remembered that his watch was on the dresser. He set it there before he took a shower for Prom. "Can you check the clock and see what time it is?"

"Oh, sure!" She picked the small potato-powered alarm clock. "It's eleven-thirty, buddy."

"Well, hey, Prom's still going on!" He struggled to sit up again but grabbed his head. In what sounded very Superman like, he managed to squeeze out through his clenched teeth, "Must… go… back…"

Helga pushed back down on the bed. "Boy, you're not going anywhere. You went to your Prom, you passed out, but at least you didn't stay home. If it's about the money, I'll just pay you back next week."

He shifted his eyes around in thought, and gazed back at Helga. "Okay, I'll stay in bed."

She smiled along with him. "Do you think you'll be alright?"

"Why, do you want to spend the night or something?" Arnold shifted around on the bed and pushed his blanket with his feet to his hands. "Well?"

"I call the couch." She made her way over to it and jumped on. "Goodnight, football-head."

"Okay, then." They both laid down wide-awake. "Maybe it would help if we turned off the light."

Helga giggled and then burst out laughing onto the floor. Her laughter started to become quieter and she tried to speak, "Oh, man, I don't know why this is funny!"

Arnold started to laugh as well. "So, are we officially going out or what because I can't remember anything."

Helga raised herself onto her knees. "Well, what do you want?"

Arnold sighed and straightened his blanket out. "I want these lights shut off. Ah…"

Helga moved on her knees over to the mattress. "So, do you want to be a couple or are we just at an agreement?"

He rolled over and smiled at her, her hair was partly running down her back and the rest of it was floating in the air thanks to static electricity. "Yeah, let's be a couple. Yeah."

Her grinned instantly became wider, not progressively but almost as a camera trick: quick cut and paste to the next picture. "I love you."

Arnold started to chuckle and finally came out with it. "Your hair is just going crazy right now. It's really funny looking."

She without trying to see her hair as some would (she had often seen people move their head up when somebody told them about their hair - as if they try really hard, they'll be able to see the top of their head) and started patting down her hair. "Shut up. You're the one who got taken out by a floor tile."

"Turn the light off before I make this the shortest relationship in the history of mankind."

***

Curly had finally found her amongst the crowd. "Hey, Sid, who's that guy?"

He took a sip of punch and looked over to what Curly was talking about. His lips were now stained red above and below. "Um… that's Mike Trenton! Remember him? I thought that guy moved or something."

Curly held out his punch cup in front of Sid. "Well, he's about to die." His hand stood out in the air for a while until he finally looked over to Sid. "What are you waiting for?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I said that he's about to die and handed you my cup to set it down. I can't go lay the smack down with a cup of punch in my hand."

Sid glared at the psychotic freak. "Dude, set your own glass down."

Curly ignored the suggestion and stood to the right of Sid with his punch cup in front of him. After ten seconds of impatient foot tapping, he finally set the cup on the table. "I'm gonna remember this one, Sid. Wait and see." With that he left.

Sid turned over to Stinky and groaned. "Remember the good old days when we first came here and nobody else stood by the punch bowl? Why is it that we attract the geekiest people?"

Having said that, Eugene and Sheena made their way over to the snack counter. "Hey, look Sheena! Little Vienna sausages in a blanket! How ingenious!"

Sid shrugged and sighed. "We're doomed to die and slow and horrible death at the hands of our lesser."

"Sid, could you shut yer mouth fer five seconds, you're really cheesin' me off."

***

Curly tapped Michael on his shoulder fiercely with his index finger. "Hey!"

The man turned around, resembling a 1950's movie monster, and stared him down. "What?"

"Get away from my girl, you…" He paused, trying to find an insult that could even scratch his protective surface. "…Woman… stealer…"

"What are you talking about? I asked her, she said yes!" Mike put his hand on her shoulder, displaying her like a Wheel of Fortune monitor. Yes, we have one G. "Do you know this guy, Gloria?"

"Yeah, I do." She moved his hand away and stepped towards Curly. "You need to stop this, okay? It's creeping me out and you're ruining my evening."

"No, no, NO!" Curly spun around to emphasize his point to her. "THAT guy is ruining our evening. Did he touch you?"

"Curly!" she yelled. "This isn't funny! Leave us alone!"

"No, I can't let this idiot take away the only thing I love in life." He moved her aside and put up his fists. "Come on, Mike, I'm ready."

Michael put his hands up in surrender and turned around. "Hey, I don't want to have any part of this."

While he was turned around, Curly punched Mike in the back of his head. "Come on, fight back!"

Without hesitating or breathing, Mike swung around quickly and jabbed Curly in the gut. "I thought I told you I didn't want to fight!" He put his arm around Gloria's shoulder as she stared at the boy grabbing his stomach. "Let's get away from here."

"HEY!" Curly held his hand out and then swung it by his side. "We're not finished!" He stood up straight and cracked his neck, putting his fists back up in the air. "Get back here!"

Mike pushed Gloria aside and walked back to Curly. The band had already stopped playing, becoming enthralled with the conflict on the floor. From three inches away from his face, Mike yelled at Curly, "Why can't you get it through your head, kid? She doesn't want you! She never has! She-"

Curly poked him in the eyes before he could be finished. "Touché!" Following that, he punched Mike in the chin and kicked his crotch. "Olé!"

Mike grabbed at himself, wincing in pain. "AHH! You little son-of-a-"

Curly punched him in the mouth, then in the chest, and followed it by kicking his left knee, causing Mike to kneel down to the floor. Mike was still grabbing at his groin with one hand, but shaking his fist at Curly. With all of his rage, he spoke quite calmly. "I'm gonna-"

Curly had gone behind him and kicked him in the back, knocking out his front tooth when it hit the floor. "You were saying?"

Curly took three steps as Mike was getting up, his tooth in hand. Mike put his hand to his mouth, feeling the gap and the blood rushing out. He pointed at Curly and gritted his teeth. "I am gonna tear you apart, you little freak!"

This would've been effective and threatening, if only he hadn't lost his front tooth when Curly kicked him. Instead, his words came out I am gonna there yah apar, you little freath! Immediately, everybody burst into laughter. Curly crossed his arms, fully aware of the crowd's new opinion of Mike. "Come get me."

Mike ran, seeming to want to tackle Curly. "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Curly jumped out of his way at the last moment, letting him take out Eugene. The pimple-faced teen had been ripped away from his date, not to mention his tuxedo jacket. As soon as Mike was back on the ground, Curly started kicking at his sides. "She's mine! YOU HEAR ME? MINE!"

Mike had been trying to maintain his masculinity, but was now on the floor weeping uncontrollably from pain. "Stop! Stop! Please, just stop!"

It was then that the Prom security finally decided to intervene. One man came over behind Curly and grabbed his arms while the other walked in front to confront him. "Well, that's enough of that! You're just a little troublemaker! Can I see you pass?"

Over-dramatizing the situation, Curly replied through clenched teeth, "I don't have a pass."

"Come on, son." The guard motioned forward and Curly started to move forward, especially because the one behind him was gripping his wrists together and making it hard to resist.

Curly yelled back as he was pushed forward, "She's mine, Mike! Keep your hands off of her! And stay away from the park! Watch out for the Japanese Ninja bikers! Watch out for the…"

The guard behind him punched him in the back of the head. "Shut up, freak!"

Mike picked himself up and wiped his tears away. "Gloria, let's leave."

She nodded, staring as they took Curly away. "Yeah, let's get out of here."

Even as Mike stood up, Eugene was still on the ground. Eventually, he put up his hand to let the crowd know he was still alive. "I'm okay."

As they left, the band looked over to each other wondering what to do. Finally, the singer stepped to the mic and cleared his throat. "Well, 'Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting' is now out of the question. Any requests from the audience?"

An anonymous hand sprung up from the audience. "Do you know 'Let's Build a Home'?"

***

Sid turned to Stinky, a freshly filled glass of punch in his hand. "I told you that one day, he was just gonna snap."

Stinky looked disappointed at his friend. "Are you just gonna stand here all night and drink punch?"

He took another sip and smacked his lips. "That would seem to be the plan."

"Why'd you even bother buying a ticket then, especially one for that girl who you haven't talked to all evening?"

Sid took another sip and looked at Stinky. "Where's your date, man?"

He scratched the back of his pencil eraser-shaped head. "Hmm… well, you sure got me there, Sid."

"Of course, Stinky." He put the glass up to his lips to finish it off, but not before saying, "You sometimes forget that I am much smarter than you."

***

The lights had been off for almost an hour and a half, but Helga and Arnold were still talking. Arnold lay on his bed, and Helga had nested on the floor next to it with a pillow. Arnold had his arms crossed looking up through his windows. "Twelve years… "

Helga shook her head, lying in the same position as him. "Correction: fourteen years. Preschool and kindergarten have to be taken into consideration."

Arnold smiled, knowing she couldn't see. "Right then. Fourteen years is a pretty long time."

Helga nodded. "Yes, it is. Hey, what's the deal with Luxembourg?"

Arnold cracked a large smile across his face, releasing a small laugh in the process. "What are you talking about?"

She stood on her knees, resting her arms crossed on his bed and put her head on top. "Luxembourg is a really small country next to France. Smaller than Rhode Island, I think. Why doesn't someone just take it and claim it as part of another country?"

Arnold felt like laughing, but inside he was thinking about the question seriously. "I have no idea."

"That place is so small, it probably has two cities and a population of fifty. It could be the city of Luxembourg and nobody would notice."

After holding back for a while, he started laughing uncontrollably.