Written By Shaun Blankenship

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The next day's bus ride was almost a rerun of the episode yesterday, except no longer was Arnold interested in seeing his peers' schedules. It was almost like an alternative take for a movie that was shot a week before the writer decided he wanted to do something different. It was the same cranky Helga, the same Arnold and Gerald, and the same nameless faces. It was eerie like déjà vu but yet new and unexpected in some way.

They all seemed to pile off the bus the same way in the same fashion, even groggier than yesterday. It was the rudest awakening possible. It was almost like all of them were thinking, You mean I have to wake up this early EVERY day? The exhausted students shuffled into their school in a tired hustle.

There was one change with Helga today; she wore a pink bow. While looking through a box in her closet for her diary which he hadn't touched for years. It lay lifeless across many of her old books of poetry like a dead family member that everybody just figured was 'out of sight, out of mind'. She placed it where she would've been wearing her ribbon, which gave her this odd Minnie Mouse quality.

Helga could almost predict when it was going to happen. She knew that any minute now while scattering inside the school, it would come. First it would start with that raspy, yet smooth, voice of his come from behind her.

"Hey, Helga, you're wearing your bow!" Arnold started walking along side of her. "What brought that on?"

"Eh, I just found it and decided to wear it. What do you care anyway?"

Arnold's eyes were fixated on Helga's bow as if it were a zombie. "It's just… I don't know… I'm likin' it."

A faint memory came back to Helga of a football. 'I like your bow, it matches your pants.'

Helga's eyes grew wide. "You… like it?"

"Yeah, it gives you this whole Minnie…"

"I know, don't remind me."

"Well, I like it. You should wear it more often. It's more… you. It fits you perfectly."

This may have been the first time the word 'perfect' had ever been associated in any way with Helga to her knowledge. "Um… thanks, Arnold. That's… really… nice of you."

She wanted to smack herself in the face from her embarrassment.

Arnold just smiled at her. "Have a good day, Helga," he said, and then walked in the opposite direction.

Helga had stepped out of the hallway traffic and stopped walking once she knew he couldn't see her anymore and just waved on the off chance that he might turn around and see her waving. If only the four words in her throat could've surfaced past her guilt and emotions.

But, nope, they didn't.

Helga let the built-up air in her anxious chest out in a depressing sigh through her throat and the words she couldn't say. It's just another school day for Helga G. Pataki, and it sucked like usual.

***

First hour was nothing: blah blah blah, Freud, psychology, 'abandoned children end up abandoned', et cetera. Mister Lynn just droned on and on but luckily, didn't assign any work. If that had happened, Arnold would've been so lost that he would've had to read the entire textbook over to even start to comprehend the work. Arnold knew it.

What really had been a workout was second hour. First of all, Mister Cleredon was ten minutes late to class. Whatever the reason was, it couldn't have been good and that was easily figured out when he finally arrived. Arnold didn't have to pay attention to first hour to realize that.

The teacher stomped into the room (As happily as he could) and quickly slammed a huge pile of paper on his desk. He then approached the class with his hands wide spread in an almost believable chipper attitude. "Good morning, class. You all know who I am, I may not know all of you yet… except for you, you little trouble maker."

Mister Cleredon pointed to a black-haired kid in the middle of the classroom with a mischievous grin and an old pair of red-framed glasses.

He quickly got back to his point, "Any who, as you might have noticed, I'm not in the greatest of moods. What you might not have noticed is that on top of that, I have nothing on my docket for today. I had an idea of what I wanted to do, but now the school board won't let me do it. No matter how hard you fight, the system…" This anticipative pause was getting extremely annoying to both Arnold and Helga. "…always wins."

Mister Cleredon took the stack of papers and placed them in a lower drawer of his desk. "I figured today, I'd have you watch a movie. If anybody talks through it, you'll get a detention. If anybody sleeps through the movie, you'll get a detention. I'm not a mean guy, but I want you to pay…" Oh, crime- "…attention."

Mister Cleredon turned on a TV that was attached to a black console in a corner of the room. A VCR was connected to it that rested on his cheap metal computer desk. He picked up a remote control that rested on his desk until he had moved it. "Okay, now if you kids are ready, I have a nice little video for you about search and seizure. You won't need this information now, but actually in a week. If you have a problem with it, I suggest you make a complaint to the front office instead of to me. Are we ready?"

The class remained silent.

"Hey, Robert, could you turn off the lights?"

Once everything was ready, Mister Cleredon finally hit play on his VCR and left the room. He didn't go far, and could be seen out of the classroom window yelling at another staff member.

The TV blared out annoying muzak with a voice to match. "The following program you are about to see is a dramatization. These are real kids, not professional actors, your age replaying a situation that they were involved in themselves. At the end of this tape, you will be asked to determine if the search the police conducted on them was indeed a legal or illegal search…"

Unlike the last time, it had been Arnold who started talking to Helga. Helga had taken the spare time and used it to take notes on the movie. He turned towards her and whispered, "Hey, Helga, what are you doing after school?"

She quickly snapped her head towards him with a resentful glare. She whispered back, "Arnold, we're not supposed to be talking! Didn't you just hear him?"

"That didn't stop you yesterday. I can't stand this stuff these sorts of tapes. They just drag on and on. Besides, he's out there and we're in here. He can't hear us. And all I asked was what you were doing today."

"Nothing with you, period."

"Come on, Helga. We're friends, aren't we? We're not enemies. I was just asking if you wanna hang out. I don't work today, Gerald does, and everyone else is gonna be busy after school too."

"What makes you think that I don't have plans?"

"Do you?"

Helga stared at Arnold sarcastically. "Okay, I don't have plans, buts still. Why would you want to hang out with me? I mean…"

"Fine, forget I said anything. I just…"

Helga yelled out in protest, "HEY!"

At that moment, Mister Cleredon had stepped back into class. He turned the lights on, went to his desk and grabbed the seating chart. "Arnold and… Helga, I expect to see the two of you after school for detention."

The lights went back out and the teacher left again. Helga rolled her eyes at Arnold. "Now I have plans for after school."

***

Out of all the days to get stuck in detention, I get put in on the first full day of school, all thanks to football-head. Why couldn't he have just kept his big mouth shut?

Before going to detention, I nagged about it to him but he still didn't care. He blamed me for yelling out and said I was the one who got us in trouble or whatever. I wasn't really listening. Well, detention is about to start and if Arnold's not here in two minutes, he can't serve and is suspended.

But of course, me and my big mouth, he shows up right on time and sits on the complete opposite side of the room from me. Good, he better not come near me today.

Oh, look who's coming in now. Who else gets detention on the first day? It's Little Prom Queen Princess Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. I wonder what she did to get here, wear plaid and polka dots?

Again with those polka dots, my God!

Rhonda sat down behind me. I don't know what's her deal; she became even more stuck up and conceded when we started high school. She now does her hair up in this little bun thing that makes her look like something out of the fifties and wears nothing but this one name brand, Abernathee and Finch. I guess in eighth grade she did a magazine advertisement for them (I have no idea where people apply for that) and since then, she's worn nothing but them. It's getting annoying. She must've ordered their entire catalogue or something! I just feel like punching her in the eyes so her contacts break and she goes blind.

Well, of course, Mister Lynn was put in charge of supervising today's detention and fell asleep as soon as it started. Typical. I remember last year when I had him, he'd fall asleep in his desk during class and eventually Eugene would wake him up because 'he couldn't live without his homework'. Poor Eugene; I remember laughing at his acne and now… it's just kind of sad.

"What are you in for?"

I turned around to Rhonda. "Oh, so now you're gonna try and talk to me? After all the junk you've put me through?"

"Hey, I'm sorry! Past is the past, let's leave it at that. Besides, I haven't bothered you since ninth grade."

"Yes, Rhonda, but the web site's still out there."

"Look, I was angry at you, I made it, but then I lost the password. I'm sorry I did it."

"Oh, you're sorry alright…"

"You can't dwell on old stuff all your life, Helga." Tell me about it. "Eventually you have to get over it."

"Fine, what did you do to get in here?"

In my mind, I envisioned her saying exactly what I had guessed earlier, but then she spoke. "I stole twenty bucks out of the teacher's desk."

"What, are you stupid?"

"I was his assistant, he left the room, I was looking through the drawers in his desk and found it. He walked in and caught me pocketing it."

"Did you think you wouldn't get caught?"

"Uh, yeah."

"How stupid are you, Rhonda?"

"Shut up, Helga! What did you do to get in here?"

"'Talking in class'."

"Yeah, I'm the dumb one. Talking in class is so fourth grade."

"And even thinking about stealing from a teacher is the smartest idea in the world?"

"Whatever, I'm not talking to you anymore."

"That's how I wanted it anyway!"

I turned back around. Who did she think she was? How dumb do you have to be to steal from the teacher? Even if she hadn't been caught, he would've known eventually! When does this day end?!

***

I was minding my own business when I was struck with the first wad of paper. I had looked from the way it hit me, and saw Helga Pataki giving me a deplorable scowl. I picked up the crumpled-up piece of paper and opened it to read 'I hate you, Arnold! Sincerely, Helga.' I crumpled it back up and threw it in the trashcan. That was really mature.

How come Helga has such a grudge against me? I hardly did anything; she got us here. It was her fault because she yelled out, I stayed reasonably quiet. I need some tea right now. I really need some Chai Spice tea right now.

That wasn't the end of it. Another ball of paper zinged above the desks and hit my head. If only it wasn't such a wide and easy target. I wonder if I could fix it with plastic surgery…

I opened up the ball to read the letter. Once again: 'Arnold, I HATE YOU! AHHHHH!' Hmm, really? Maybe I didn't understand the first note. You know what? Maybe I don't understand this one either! What are you gonna do, Helga?

If only I had said that to her.

***

Mister Lynn's watch alarm started beeping frantically and for a moment he was actually conscience. During those five seconds, he motioned the kids out to the door. "You're free, you're free…" He then fell back asleep. Arnold, Helga, and Rhonda all proceeded to get up and walk out while Mister Lynn would sleep until the janitor told him to leave.

Arnold was the first out, and as soon as his feet hit the floor outside of the classroom, Helga punched him in the back of the shoulder. "Way to go, football-head!"

"I've explained this to you repetitively, Helga." Did I just say 'repetitively'? "It wasn't my fault. You got the teacher's atten-"

Helga cut him off. "Shut up! I hate you!"

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"Because I'm not sure if you're aware of how incredibly stupid you are!"

"You know what, Helga. If you hate me so much then shut up. I'm not going to waste all my time arguing with you."

"Well, I'm sorry that you're a moron!"

"Helga, I don't ever want to talk to you again. Good-bye." Arnold stomped down the hallway away from Helga and kicked open the door to the outside. Helga stood frozen in her place while Rhonda stood at a distance just watching.

What have I done? What have I done!

Rhonda came over to Helga and placed an elbow on her shoulder. "Man, Helga. You don't know when to quit, do you?"

Helga didn't even bother responding. She just spun around and socked Rhonda right in the middle of her face causing her nose to bleed. "SHUT UP!"

Helga walked angrily away from Rhonda's crying body and towards her locker. She spun the combination open and grabbed two textbooks. She slammed it shut and stormed out of the school. Rhonda got up to go to the bathroom, leaving a trail of blood behind her.

Yet, her shirt remained stainless. Amazing.